OK--I have to get this off my chest. Those of you who have adopted before will really understand I think.
My neighbor and I were just talking and she kept saying how big Emily has gotten. I shared with her that from our travel group Emily is one of the tallest girls and she is the 2nd youngest of the group. Interesting fact that she is tall--that's all I meant.
What does she say?
In a "whisper" she says "Well, are her birth parents tall?" I said I didn't know (China gives no history and very little health history, though I didn't share that with this woman==God knows what she would've said to that).
So then she says "At least she looks like you so that's good."
Um...last time I checked I wasn't Chinese. SO I have dark hair and a dark complexion. And besides, what's it matter if she looks like me or not? Am I supposed to hide the fact that she's adopted?
Sheesh....she really struck a nerve!! I almost gave her a dummy slap upside the head!
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that is so funny!!!! people say the most stupid things to try to be nice, or avoid hurting feelings. you would think that by now you may have accepted the fact that she is chinese, i guess she doesnt want to startle you with the facts. shheeesh!!
I get questions all the time about how big ds's bps were, as he's a pretty big baby. I just answer them because it's easier, but sometimes, you just gotta wonder.
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Originally posted by Lisa67
So then she says "At least she looks like you so that's good."
"so thats good" ???? LOL what an idiot ! goodness
and to answer your question YES people really are that stupid and really in a way I think people are moreso just non-educated about the adoption world and dont understand that just becuz our children don't have our hair texture or knobby knees its not okay with us when in fact it is perfectly normal to us
Our kids are our kids end of story
BTW, So glad to hear Emily has decided to put her voice out there good for her
{{{ hugs }}}
Amy
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Originally posted by Lisa67 I almost gave her a dummy slap upside the head!
What an idiot- I don't think anyone could fault you if you had.
Sheesh- what a moron!
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me: 30
DH: 31
DD: *Eleanor Alexandra* 13 months (born 13 weeks early on January 31, 2004@ 2lbs 2.6oz)
Nobody can make you feel inferior
without your permission - Eleanor Roosevelt
I still sit in bewilderment about her comment but it's just one of the few I've heard. So, kKat you're right--I shouldn't wonder about some people. BUT I do want some good responses for next time!
Thanks everyone!
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~13 year old (born preemie @ 24 weeks), 5.5 year old & 3.5 year old (both born in China!)~
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LMAO Brandy!! Now THAT is a good one! Thanks for the giggle!!!!
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I hate stupid comments like that. I've had everything from "is he really adopted?" (DUH!!!, I think I would know if I gave birth to him) To "does he call you Mom or Jennifer?" (huh??? why would he call me Jennifer, I'm his MOM!)
I tell you what I hate the most, is the questions about his Bmom. I mean why she placed him, what she looks like and such is HIS business, not everyone elses.
UGH!!! I wish they offered a adoption etiquette (sp?) 101 class, that we could refer people too.
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Jen - maybe you could suggest that to the rude people - that they need to take Adoption Etiquette 101. Or maybe they should watch the show "What Not To Say (that will make you look stupider than you are)"
Lisa - I am not not in your shoes. I hope to be someday, though.
What I have found that is the hardest thing to do is just be nice to them and sweet when people are mean and cruel. It makes them so much madder that they don't get a rise out of you if that is what they are seeking. And if they are just plain stupid and don't know what they say that offends - they will have to be the ones to answer for it in the end.
Good luck to you and I agree, Emily is beautiful.
laural - but a good smack in the head always sounds good!
When people ask me dumb, none-of-their business questions,. . .I just look at them bewildered and say "Those recessive genes are amazing things, aren't they?"
They just look at me, stunned! Pretty soon, though, I am going to have to learn to be more tactful. My son is getting older and I may have to explain recessive genes to him.
Although it makes me giggle. .its NOT something I wish to explain to him, especially since its not true.
I guess I better start thinking of something else to say. :-(
Dawn
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Are people really this stupid? 
I almost gave her a dummy slap upside the head!
when in fact it is perfectly normal to us 
good for her 
