Pestering Adoption Agency?

skiboo · 08-09-2003, 02:16 PM

Taking a poll to see where is the fine line between pestering and showing that you are eager to get started.

We turned in our application, first set of papers and paid a big chunk of money on July 30th and we were told by the adoption coordinator that our social worker would contact us within a week or so. We have not heard from the social worker yet and are anxious to get the home study started. I really, really wanted to have at least our 1st appointment set up by August 12th as that is the day that we got the news last summer that my pregnancy was ectopic and that I would need methotrexate to end the pregnancy. I guess I feel that if we at least have made significant progress on the adoption, the anniversary of our loss will be slightly easier to handle...

So, on Monday the August 11th it will have been 12 days since we turned in our application. Will it look like I am a pest if I call to check on the progress of our application or will it look like I am just eager to move things along???? Would you call if you were me??

Thanks for listening,
Janie

Sari · 08-09-2003, 02:42 PM

If it were me, I'd call them today (Saturday) if they are open, or Monday just to "check back" and see when the first appointment can be set. If you start calling like 3 times a day, that would be pestering.

FamilyBound · 08-09-2003, 05:18 PM

Just keep in mind that you are the one PAYING this agency for their services and expertise in matching yo with your child. They aren't doing this as a goodwill favor to you.

You've waited 12 days, to me that is definitely time for a check-in to confirm that they received everything and to move onto the next step

KGJacob · 08-09-2003, 10:14 PM

This is just my opinion and I am coming off a very bad experience here, but, find out if the check has been cashed. I did not have trouble with my home study agency bu have had difficulty ever since.

The first agency we choose, took some of our money, we never could get a phone callback from them, and then we got a letter that they were raising our fees. We got a different agency.

Our next experience was also not good. We could not get informaion regarding our referral. Everytime we would ask a question we would be told they would get back to us and never did.

As it turns out, I am not a mother. My thought is that there are so many bad agencies if you are starting out already on a bad note, get your money back and look again.

As I mentioned, I am coming off a bad experience; however, we made dozens of calls to better business bureaus and references and we still got bad experiences. And I surely hope you don't end up out all the money we did and with no child.

Good luck in your tough decision.

cookie · 08-10-2003, 09:34 PM

Janie,

Right now, all I am doing is looking at different agencies and comparing costs for international adoption, so I do not have anything to say based on experience....but....knowing how much money and not only that....all the certifing and noterizing of all documents...all that time that we have to take just to start the process, I would definately go ahead and make that call. It's probably that they didn't have any new info for you, maybe cause it's the beginning.

Definately call, it will put your mind at ease.

Lisa2008 · 08-11-2003, 12:40 PM

janie,
i can understand where you are coming from. please dont underestimate the progress you have already made. just the decision to adopt can take some people years. and completing the paperwork is a feat in itself. it can be so hard to wait.

go ahead and call (accually i called my intake worker today to see when i would be assigned an adoption worker) i am very impatient as well.

while at our parenting prep classes this weekend, all the social workers agreed that its the squeeky wheel that gets the grease.

and remember they are employed by you. take care, lisa

skiboo · 08-12-2003, 12:03 AM

Thanks everybody for the great advice and words of encouragement... I am posting my update on the main board as a new thread... the news is good!
Janie

websissy · 08-13-2003, 12:17 PM

I wonder if your dealing with the same agency I am/was. I always had to call 2-3 times to the Adoption Manager to get her to call me back. What really erked me was, one time I called twice in a week and was told the following week when she finally called me back that she had been on vacation - I was like, "why didn't your receptionist tell me that?". Frustrating....

The Social Worker that I was doing the parent prep with was very responsive and I did meet with the Director once where I expressed my concern over not getting phone calls returned by the Adoption Manager. My homestudy Social Worker used to work for this agency and while she didn't have anything bad to say about their ethics or good intentions, she did say that they were understaffed and had a lot of turnover. That could be a similar reason why your not getting calls returned. Be persistant - you shouldn't have to feel like your being a pest as you have paid them for their services. It's not like they're doing you a favor.

Best wishes,