pis**d at the world

jessica_wants_a_baby · 03-16-2005, 06:07 PM

Does anyone elce think that its a bunch of crap all the stuff they make you go through to adopt? People who CAN have babies get to choose if they want to go to any parenting classes. Someone doesn't come in to their home to see if they are clean, friendly, or loving people and then give them permission to have sex and get pregnant. Teenagers are popping kids out all the time, babies are having babies! It just doesnt seem fair that we have to go through all this to start a family when most people accidntly have kids and some dont even want them at first? Maybe its just the depression talking. Im telling ya if things don't start looking good in the near future, Im going to tell my soon to be husband to take a hike. He wants a family and he deserves it (not saying I dont but..) and I oviously cant give it to him!!

~Traci~ · 03-16-2005, 06:24 PM

I thought the same thing at first too but w/ the way child abuse is these days & the incidence of child deaths, etc they need to make sure that child is going to a good home. Now granted, sometimes they get it wrong but most of the time they get it right & those foster/adopted children are put in very good homes. I know that it doesn't seem fair that tons of couples can have babies that don't want them & abuse them. It hurts when I see on the news another child that has been hurt or killed by their parents. The children that do get put up for adoption or foster care don't need to be put in another home that has a potential hazard to them b/c they've been through enough so personally, they can come check out any part of our homes or lives before they put a child in our home b/c I would never want to be accused of child abuse.

{{{{HUGS}}}} If your husband loves you for you, he won't care how you start your family (or at least that's been my experience). Sit down & talk to your FH about your feelings. See what he says. I'm sure he'll say that it will be ok. He may be more open to things than you think he is. I know that when I was first dx'd, we still thought everything would be ok. We had talked about adoption & I knew I always wanted to adopt. We just thought we would have some bio kids before we adopted but our plans changed.

Traci

dna · 03-16-2005, 06:51 PM

Get it all out girl !
I think the majority of us have felt the same way at one point or another thru our various adoption experiences...but I would let them tell the whole world how much I weighed and that I am a secret closet eater of pigs ears in order to adopt.. yes its an invasion of privacy and not a nice one but its so worth it in the end...

Sometimes I feel I had to 'grieve' my infertility and non-control of my body ... I am sure that your future husband will understand and you may be suprised by the support you receive from him.

Yup this whole PCOS thing sucks but Adoption is a viable option and there are babies who need us, here and overseas so hell I am goin to get another one

Take care,
Amy

Lisa67 · 03-16-2005, 09:25 PM

Yup--I went through all of those emotions too. And even with this second adoption I still get agitated that I have to do everything over again. Even fingerprinting--my fingerprints haven't changed since 2002 and I haven't committed any crimes (or else wouldn't they be on record since I have DSS & INS files?!) but I still have to do it all over again. BUT....It is so worth it and in the end all of those feelings disappear. Just like childbirth--you forget what even happened and why you were unhappy to begin with!

Best of luck--things will work; out I am sure of it!