I have nothing agasint same sex couples, single moms, bisexual couples, etc.. but is it just me or is it easier for them to adopt? The reason im asking is that me and DH are not married well legally but we have been together for a very long time, but every agency I look at it seems they want you married, but at the same time MOST of them will let same sex couples, singles, etc.. adopt without a problem. So why are unmarried straight couples singled out alot? Again hope I didnt offend any1 just been thinkng about this lately. If it helps im in Michigan
__________________ Shelly and Dave TTC as long as can be! Praying for a bundle of blue someday To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Psychic Ruby predicts find out/conceive or give birth in Oct 2008 or give birth Oct 2009 boy lets hope shes right!
Well, there is nothing that I can say to that....BUT I can say this I have a gay couple friend that have been trying to adopt for 2 years, in Feb. that had their 3 failed one and in April they got hooked up with their bm...the baby was born was in August in MO and they brough the baby home 2 weeks later and they JUST had their adoption FINALIZED. They didn't have to go through all the hoops that my dh have to. We brought our son home in June and we won't be able to finalize until Dec. We have to write reports each month for the aa and we also still have one more visit from the SW to check on us before they can recommend us for adoption of our ds.
Now I understand it is all different states and blah blah blah...but still...anyhow...
If it is that big of a problem for ya'll why can't ya'll just get married?
Well we will be getting married, but I know theres a waiting period for most places, thats whats im so antsy about it you know? Thyanks for the input
__________________ Shelly and Dave TTC as long as can be! Praying for a bundle of blue someday To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Psychic Ruby predicts find out/conceive or give birth in Oct 2008 or give birth Oct 2009 boy lets hope shes right!
I had the same problem when I was trying to adopt a baby. They approved me as a single adoption, told me my significant other and I both had to attend all classes, meetings, physicals, fingerprinting everything so we said ok. My signifcant other was fine with it being a single parent adoption until the baby came and he knew his name would not be listed as the father. Fortunately for him (I guess) when we went to finalize our adoption the judge refused to finalize, he said "I can't understand why you too have been together for so many years and our still not married? To me that noes not show stability in the relationship!" I also was not working at the time so he then said "I want to make sure you have the financial resources because there is no guarantee you 2 will stay together so either you 2 get married or you have to find a job showing a long time record that you can keep a job, the money you have in the bank is not going to last long with a baby!" So needless to say my significant other asks "what are we going to do?" and I say GET A JOB!" I saw the disappointment in his face (he's always said he will not get married) and needless to say we got back to our city and was married the next week. The judge originally said we had to wait 1 year to come back to finalize but changed his mind and finalized in 4 months! WE finalized the day before Valentines day Maybe you guys should just get married if you are both happy together and maybe it will make things easier. Is there a reason you don't want to get married? I know calches asked that already but I too am curious.
__________________ ME (Samantha) and DH (James) married 11/02/07
DSS (Don) 22
DS (Matthew) Is 2 years old and can you say....TERRIBLE 2's To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Newest Editions to the family::::::
Nephew (Daryan) 13
Niece (Sonnie) 16
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
I am an Independent Avon Sales Rep if any of you ladies are interested check out my site @
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Honestly the reason we havent been married up till now is that we never thought one we woudl have ttc problems to even have to look into adoption and 2 we are just really happy together without the paper. Its not that I dont love him or he doesnt love me, we just really dont see the sense of marrying except for something in this case. I just didnt even know if they would even look at someone like us till we got married or not? You know? Right now we are not able to adopt anyways due to finances, so we would have to save on that too, but was just wondering how agencies can require you to be married if your not the same sex couple or if your single thats fine. I hope im not rambling. Ive just looked at most sites and it says you have to be married, but then I see something about same sex couples or singles being able to adopt. To me that doesnt make sense and I feel its biased.
__________________ Shelly and Dave TTC as long as can be! Praying for a bundle of blue someday To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Psychic Ruby predicts find out/conceive or give birth in Oct 2008 or give birth Oct 2009 boy lets hope shes right!
First I am not in a same sex relationship & Second I believe in partners being married. That being said, when we went through our homestudy and application process they asked for us to be married for at least 2 years, some saying as much as 5. So sometimes it isn't worth it to get married until after finalization...
__________________ ~ tina
blessed mama to the light of my life through the miracle of adoption, waiting for baby brother to come home and praying for another miracle child born of my body.
Just your typical morbidly obese, lap band surgery hopeful, facial hair having, hair shedding, IR, hashimoto dx'd, acid reflux cursed, no period experiencing, hump having, infertile cyster!
Medications:
Levothyroxine 200 mcg
Metformin 1500 mg
Ortho-cyclen (until surgery)
Alright so you are syaing it may be quicker the process going through if you get married after finalization?
__________________ Shelly and Dave TTC as long as can be! Praying for a bundle of blue someday To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Psychic Ruby predicts find out/conceive or give birth in Oct 2008 or give birth Oct 2009 boy lets hope shes right!
Ive just looked at most sites and it says you have to be married, but then I see something about same sex couples or singles being able to adopt. To me that doesnt make sense and I feel its biased.
It would only be 'biased' if, in most states, same sex couples were permitted to marry, but that isn't the case. Until recently, same sex couples could NOT marry, and in some states cannot even adopt. (Didn't Rosie O'Donell have some issue with this a few years ago?)
In states where they can adopt, my guess is that courts look at the overall stability of the home environment, which includes finances, how long a couple has been together, and who will be the legal guardian of the child.
When I was little (like in 3rd grade), my parents were trying to adopt a second child, and it was hard for them because we moved a LOT (every 2 years) because of my father's job.
__________________
Hey, SoulCysters! Need to eat more veggies, but can't find recipes??
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Alright so you are syaing it may be quicker the process going through if you get married after finalization?
If you went this route only one of you would actually be listed as the parent and after you are married the other person could adopt as a stepparent adoption. The way our adoption was suppose to go was it was suppose to be a single parent adoption where I would adopt the baby and if we later got married my husband could adopt the baby as a step-parent.
__________________ ME (Samantha) and DH (James) married 11/02/07
DSS (Don) 22
DS (Matthew) Is 2 years old and can you say....TERRIBLE 2's To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Newest Editions to the family::::::
Nephew (Daryan) 13
Niece (Sonnie) 16
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
I am an Independent Avon Sales Rep if any of you ladies are interested check out my site @
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
It really really depends on what type of adoption you do. Don't assume that gay/bisexual/same-sex couples have it easy. We aren't even allowed to adopt our own partners children (i.e. our OWN children) in most states and no country allows same-sex couples to adopt internationally - so if you want to, you have to lie and run the risk of losing your children. Honestly, I'm not trying to "shoot" you for this... I'm really not preaching or anything, and I get your point - you shouldn't HAVE to be married... but your issues isn't about same-sex couples really, is it? It's more about the system not accepting your alternative lifestyle.
__________________ Me (29)
Same-sex couple
DW (29) dx w/PCOS in 2004
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
TTC#3 - Injectables/IUI:
3rd round - BFP!!! 10/13! 1st Beta@12dpo=30, 2nd Beta@14dpo=100, Beta@18dpo=882! u/s on 10/23 - 2 sacs! Beta@22dpo=5921! Beta@27dpo= 17,792 Whoohooo stick sweet little babies! 7w1d BOTH babies have HB's @ 139!!
Thanks guys that does make alot of sense. I appreciate it. If we ever do adoption I will keep that in mind. Just found out we are pregnant so its definatly a blessing!
__________________ Shelly and Dave TTC as long as can be! Praying for a bundle of blue someday To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Psychic Ruby predicts find out/conceive or give birth in Oct 2008 or give birth Oct 2009 boy lets hope shes right!
My husband and I got married becuz we knew we would be eventually adopting. Before that we knew that we were a family despite the wedding. I think you also should consider that singles and gay couples may be more willing to accept a baby that is a bit older or a baby that has been exposed to drugs or alcohol or have other issues.
Anyways I know it doesnt seem fair...adoption is tough...but the rewards are endless
__________________
Amy (34) To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. DH (36)
DS (7) To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. DD (3)
Oct 09 - Femara 5mgs Days 3-7 BFN
Nov 09 - Femara 5mgs Days 3-7 BFN
Dec 09 - Femara 5 mgs Days 3-7
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Please dont shoot me down for this but... 
Maybe you guys should just get married if you are both happy together and maybe it will make things easier. Is there a reason you don't want to get married? I know calches asked that already but I too am curious.
