I've been feeling extremely depressed lately. I'm having constant crying spells and an inability to do the simplest things. Unless I'm with someone from my small current circle of friends, I don't even bother going out. Being with them is the only time I ever do anything. Sometimes I don't even have the energy to go to the store. I just lock myself in my apartment and away from the outside world.
My 10th reunion just passed and I didn't even consider going for one second. Two people have contacted me from high school since then but I find myself avoiding them. I'm afraid to face my past and I'm afraid to have people see my weight gain. I feel ugly and helpless and my self esteem is practically non-existent.
My friends are pushing me to find a boyfriend to an annoying extent but I'm afraid of that too. I'm afraid of getting rejected. I'm afraid of having to tell a guy about my PCOS problems when I can't even tell my closest friends. I'm scared that my thinning hair will get worse, I'm scared that I will never lose this extra weight. I'm scared that this excess hair will never go away even if I do lose the weight. I'm afraid of living my life and then realizing that I was never happy.
I don't know what to do and I can't seem to get myself out of this state that I'm in. Please help!
The first step has already happened...you have reached out, and recognized a need for help. Now, you need to seek it, not only online, but in real life. I know that is a very hard step. Once upon a time I was in the very same place you are...afraid. I thought everything could be okay if I just kept it all to myself. But, you know something it gets better when you have help. Do you have a friend that you feel "truly" comfortable with? Than I would ask them to help you. There are no magic answers for anyone, there is no quick fix to what we deal with. Yet, through the willingness to try to get better, to want to get better, and the faith in ourselves that we can do this...slowly, but eventually we can find better days. I have yet to have a perfect day, and I won't lie, I slip back into the abyss often, but it is because I have accepted I need help, that when it is there I take their hand and let them carry me away from the edge. You need that, and online can only do so much for you. I'll help in anyway I can here, but I will always nudge you towards finding help right where you are too. Blessings and cyber hugs.
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Penelope Anne To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Homeschooling Mum to 3 miracles, now teens/tweens.
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I can relate to what you feel. In th beginning I did not even know it was depression. I did everything you mention : would not go out with friends anymore, stay locked at home alone just watching TV, feeling soo sad and lonely...
Then I visited an Endo, for TTC issues, but she diagnosed me also with mild depression which actually came because of many factors : I come from a family of depressive people from the side of my Mom, and plus I had very difficult years lately ( with economical and personal problems and the loss of my father ) so it was like a cocktail which was triggering my depression and panic attacks as well.
Now that I know what is going on, I am taking care of myself. I am exercising ( as it is said it helps against depression ) I am taking fish oil ( the nature´s prozac ) and I am somehow "forcing" me to stay busy, go out, do things that normally I would avoid because of my depression.
I do not want to take prozac and I do not think my depression is considerable in order to consider prozac or zoloft, so I substituted with natural solutions, fish oil and some herbal solutions like St. Johns Wort. I feel much better now.
In your case, it depends on how depressed you are. Maybe you should visit a specialist (an Endo or someone with psicology degree too ) to see if you still can control your depression without chemical meds.
In any case, I would suggest that you try to take on the responsability to feel better. Do not leave it to a pill or a chemical substance. Try to find what works so you keep your mind clear. Move forward one day at a time. Allow yourself to be depressed but only for few hours, do not let it interfere with your life. This condition needs that you fight it back before it takes you over.
I hope you will feel better soon...
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PCOS & Male Factor
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Thank you both for your help. I think I will give some of those natural remedies a try. I may also consider seeing a PCOS doctor that specializes in PCOS to help relieve some of my symptoms. I'm seeing a doctor for it now but I'd rather see someone who has more knowledge of it. I'm gonna have to travel farther to see him but I think it will be worth it because all these symptoms are really killing my self esteem.
Please Help 
