As I'm sitting here, I am living with a VERy angry person and just heard him shouting, scaring my dog. He needs a lot of help and i don't know how much lomger i can stay here. It really is scaring me. You now the kind of anger that is TOTALLy misdirected at salespeople, or anyone who he wants to take it out on. It is scaring me, may sound like ababy, but man I HATE anger!
Just something I needed top ost, not sure how much longer I can stay in this house
You should never feel trapped anywhere. Sometimes you just have to know when to call it quits. I know that yelling makes me nervous and makes my heart pound even when it is done in play. I know I couldn't stay in an angry house. I don't feel much like typing right now b/c my blood sugar is wacky, but I saw nobody had responded to you and I wanted to let you know someone is here. If you need to talk just send me an email. When I get my bloodsugar back under control I'll talk to you.
Laura, bless your heart. I had to post a thread "the truth" about what is going on. I just told my mom I don't think I can take much more (she feels the same way) and may decide to go to that program for a few months for help and to get out of this environment--maybe it will lead me somewhere...I think I'm done for the night, taking a shower and just going to clutch my Bible to my heart, and go to bed. Still taking the antidepressant, I'm just going to have to deal with it, I dont want to bring anyone down, I shared some deep stuff.
Hope you feel better, I appreciate your willingness to talk to me, I've got a few people I can talk to, but it is so coplicated that it may be better if Ijust handle it the best way I do know how.
I'm praying for a better day tomorrow, I need to just turn it ALL over to the Lord once again, it's all a very difficult situation.
Thanks again, feel better and take care. I have a hard time talking to peole about it, I'm sick of crying, sometimes when we talk, it hurts more, I don't know, I'm all over the board so I need to chill.
I am sorry you are going through a difficult time! Is there any chance your living arrangements will be changing soon?
(((((hugs)))))
__________________ DX: Sept/03 Me 31 & DH 35 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
PCOS:Metformin 1500mgs daily(Oct/03). Rapid Cycling Bi-Polar Type II: Effexor 225 mgs, .5mgs clonazapam, and 900mgs Lithium daily. litebook therapy(Dec/04). Meniere's Disease: To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. 16mgs Serc and 10-20mgs Metoclop
Just wanted to throw a **HUG** your way and tell you I will join you in praying for safety and peace and for God to provide a safe haven for you.
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I'm gonna stop looking back and starting moving on
And learn how to face my fears
Love with all of my heart, make my mark
I wanna leave something here
Go out on a ledge, without any net
That's what I'm gonna be about
Yeah, I wanna be running
When the sand runs out
- Rascall Flatts "When the Sand Runs Out"
Remember you are more than welcome at my site! Don't be a stranger k!
__________________ DX: Sept/03 Me 31 & DH 35 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
PCOS:Metformin 1500mgs daily(Oct/03). Rapid Cycling Bi-Polar Type II: Effexor 225 mgs, .5mgs clonazapam, and 900mgs Lithium daily. litebook therapy(Dec/04). Meniere's Disease: To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. 16mgs Serc and 10-20mgs Metoclop
Carey(31) To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Paul(43)
Married 7-25-02
PCOS Diagnosed Nov 02'
Bi Polar Diagnosed Feb 08'
Current meds~ Lithium&Celexa
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Sometimes it is easier to talk to people you don't know and who aren't intimately involved in your life. I'm an extremely shy person. I can't even talk in a chat room, but I've found it extremely easy to talk on these message boards. I wish I had found them much sooner. I have been through some really tough times over the last few years and felt really alone. Now I'm addicted to this place. I wish I had had it while I was TTC and during my pregnancy. Sometimes you can feel so alone when there are people all around you.
hey there...I grew up in a very abusive home with a father and brother who got angry at the drop of a hat. God was beyond awesome and made a safe way for my mom and I to leave it. My advice is to be smart...keep your cards very close to your chest. Remember that your first priority is yourself and that you don't owe him anything. You are worth more and deserve more than you are being treated.
Take care...I'll be praying for you...
__________________ "It was through Perseverance that the snail reached the Ark" ~C. H. Spurgeon
30 years old~Single Cyster
256/184.5/135 Lost weight on Atkins, platued for a year. Started IR
Diet on 2/12/05~I have lost 12 pounds since starting the IR Diet...I love this WOE, apparently so does my body.
DX December 2004~tried BCP and hated them.
Here is a link to my journal :p To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
((hugsallaround))) Thanks Pink appreciate it. The only way my living arrangements will be changing oon is if I go to this "treatment center" and that's exactly whast it is...a home where women (about 20) live, go to NA meetings, AA meetings, etc. The thing that irks me is that I do not consider myself an addict. I know about denial too. For a person to be on Vicodin since March 2004, here it is April 2005, and I NEVER take more than 2 a day-ever, I do not see that as an addiction, I see it as a dependence, is there a difference? Is one "worse"? So the question is--would I be putting myself in a home w/ a bunch of catty-ass women who are freaking out, who I may have "run-ins" with, because frankly I don't need that.
thank you sweetie, sounds like we come from similar backgrounds re: the anger at the drop of a hat. PRAISE God for making a safe way for your mom and you to leave it. Oh trust me, he owes me, if anything. And I will not treat him like the king he thinks he is sometimes, that is WRONG. I won't fall for it and he knows that, when he did it back in 1997, I reamed him and called him a sick f%$# he is extremely lucky that I even still talk to him, b/c I am 110% against what he did--he knew better-sure he was on meth and taking 80mg of prozac, but you just don't do sick stuff like that, it was with a boy and he was a teacher, it was termed consentual, how I don't know. I have people all around me who tell me...'YOU ARE NOT YOUR BROTHER' it's still hard not to be categorized by being his sister, b/c everyone who knows me, knows I love kids and am very good with them, I haven't been blessed w/any of my own yet.
Ya know, what I'm saying here I haven't even said to my therapist--go figure! He knows about it, but how so much easier it is to talk 'behind' a screen I thank you for saying this>>You are worth more and deserve more than you are being treated. I like to think so, and I think I'm coming to a place where I'm actually believing that, thank you
I hate to say it but addiction and dependance ( this is only my thought ) it's one in the same. If you can't go a day with out taking any then it's an addiction, if you have to have it to function it's a depencancy.
It sounds to me that the person your with right now can go in to a rage extramly eazy.
For the fact your not in a safe place and the fact that it sounds like you have a small addiction to pain medication, ( which if you don't know this, it's killing your liver ). I think i would rather run the chance of the catty ass women who are freaking out over the person i live wiht going in to a rage and beating the holy hell out of me.
But you know your sistuation better then i do. And i pray that the Goddess watch over you while you are there. And that you get your self to a better place and soon.
blessed be
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Irene, thank you for taking the time to pose your thoughts, I am open to ANYTHING anyone has to say. hmmm, I'm going to be honest here and say that, I haven't tried to go a day w/o ONE. I don't have to have it to function---BUT it helps if I take it for pain. I have to mention this though, canit caise depression?? The opiate?? I ask b/c it seems after I take one, hours after the pain is relieved and you get that 'don't care about nothing' feeling, I feel sadness. Can this happen? You hit it RIGHT ON, my brother can go into a RAGE very easy, but he knows if he ever did that my mother would kick him out, although I'm not too sure about that either. If anything he should be grateful, and I know he is sometimes, but he still treats my mother like a doormat sometimes. Asking her to do things that he can very well do, handicap or not...I just had my liver enzymes tested, according to my PCP doc, they're "normal", but I question that, b/c in Feb they were elevated and increased in March...and if my brother touched me, I'd be on the phone qicker than you could fart to the cops, he knows he can't be in trouble of any kind with the law, he is a felon.
Thank you so much for caring! I really appreciate it.
sounds like my step father....lived with him for 18 yrs...psycho man, don't live there now and hes begging me to come back clean his friggin house, butthead! he actually calls my cellphone and yells at my machine, calls my house...its awful...jsut to yell and scream...anyway you need to get the h*ll out of there, all i know is someone like that, yelling at everyone and everything is just wrong, and it will do more with your head than you know. im 20 years old, lived away at school for 2 yrs now and im still screwed up in the head from all the mental abuse for sooo many years. its not right and does come out in the long run.
you need to leave asap.
for your life!
people like that will make you die a slow death, i almost killed myself a few times living with that type of person, you need to leave. there is soo much in the world for you, just go out and get it, throw everything to the wind and do what it takes to leave! don't drown yourself in booze don't swallow tons of pills dont IGNORE the PROBLEM that is right in front of you. you need to get out, if you want to bad enough you will. save up the money do whateveri t takes, you have toooo trust me.
Please help cysters are you there? 
appreciate it. The only way my living arrangements will be changing oon is if I go to this "treatment center" and that's exactly whast it is...a home where women (about 20) live, go to NA meetings, AA meetings, etc. The thing that irks me is that I do not consider myself an addict. I know about denial too. For a person to be on Vicodin since March 2004, here it is April 2005, and I NEVER take more than 2 a day-ever, I do not see that as an addiction, I see it as a dependence, is there a difference? Is one "worse"? So the question is--would I be putting myself in a home w/ a bunch of catty-ass women who are freaking out, who I may have "run-ins" with, because frankly I don't need that. 
I thank you for saying this>>You are worth more and deserve more than you are being treated. I like to think so, and I think I'm coming to a place where I'm actually believing that, thank you
