I'm an aunt. I've never been an aunt before. I feel devastated by this. I don't understand why I can't be married, or even dating someone right now. What is so repulsive about me? My YOUNGER brother is now a father. Why can't I be happy for him? Why doesn't my heart balloon with love for this brand new addition to my family? I am so mad at myself for being selfish and jealous. I've prayed every single day for at least 6 years now and I don't even have a potential for a boyfriend let alone a husband. I go to wedding after wedding after wedding alone. Why is life so easy for them and so hard for me? Why can they live on doritos and I have watch every single morsel that enters my mouth? God, when do my prayers get answered? Please pray that I can love my niece.
Thank you,
Kara
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35 pounds lost in 2005! So close to my goal!
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Carey(31) To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Paul(43)
Married 7-25-02
PCOS Diagnosed Nov 02'
Bi Polar Diagnosed Feb 08'
Current meds~ Lithium&Celexa
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Kara, you are a truly beautiful soul, you are physically beautiful (I know I've seen pictures). I don't know why some people don't find love when they want it, but I know he is out there for you. I have prayed for you in my nightly prayers and I will continue to pray for you... God will bless you with what will make you happy in love in His time. I know that's not what you want to hear... But please don't doubt yourself. You are one of the kindest, sweetest cysters I know!
__________________ Amber (30) & DH Joshua (28) My Dx:Hypothyroid age 16 Syndrome X including Hypothyroidism, PCOS, High Cholesterol, & Insulin Resistance age 21 Vitamin D Deficiency age 30 My Rx:Synthroid, Lipitor, Yasmin, Vitamin D Supplement, Align
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You sound just like me a couple years ago. Just before I met my DH I was at my lowest point, self-esteem wise, probably. I had actually just pretty much decided that I was going to buy a small house, get several cats, and just be the stereotypical "old maid" and try to be happy that way, because obviously no man wanted me. I couldn't quite do that, though... I had to look on Yahoo personals one more time... just one more time before I gave up totally. And there I saw DH's ad. Responded and here we are nearly 2 1/2 years later. It will happen. Are you looking anywhere or trying to meet someone or are you expecting them to come to you? I'm pretty old-fashioned in many regards, but I'm so glad I was forward enough to make the first move with DH.
__________________ Kati (29)
DH Vince (27)
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Never TTC -- Straight to Adoption
DD Yuna
Born in the USA 10-01-06 -- Finalized 4-12-07
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You sound just like me a couple years ago. Just before I met my DH I was at my lowest point, self-esteem wise, probably. I had actually just pretty much decided that I was going to buy a small house, get several cats, and just be the stereotypical "old maid" and try to be happy that way, because obviously no man wanted me. I couldn't quite do that, though... I had to look on Yahoo personals one more time... just one more time before I gave up totally. And there I saw DH's ad. Responded and here we are nearly 2 1/2 years later. It will happen. Are you looking anywhere or trying to meet someone or are you expecting them to come to you? I'm pretty old-fashioned in many regards, but I'm so glad I was forward enough to make the first move with DH.
My story sounds just like Kati's--right down to the "one last time" comment. I had just about given up on Match.com when Chris contacted me, and I said, "Okay, this is it." And it was. I don't know what you've been doing to meet men, but don't give up! Enjoy your life. I know you want a partner to make your life more "complete" but you still have to keep on going.
Kara, you are a great girl (woman) and you kick our butts on the Bridesmaid's Challenge!!! And your faith is inspiring. God DOES have a plan for you--I'm sure you hate hearing that, but deep down, you know it's true. I don't know why I never had ANY guy pay attention to me until Chris (I was almost 24) but that's the way the story unfolded.
You hang in there and stay strong. It will happen to you. And I know you will feel love for your niece. We're all here for you!
__________________ Jen~25 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. (Chris~29 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. ) We're engaged!!!
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Kara, I understand how hard it is when you see everyone else around you having children and being jelous is normal. I don't have any children and I don't know if I ever will because of my PCOS but 6 years ago got sent me a niece. She is one of the most wonderful things that ever happend to me. We have sleep overs and watch movies together. I get to take her shopping and spoil her and best of all I have her love and she has mine. Even at 6 years old she understands how important she is to me. She actually said to me, auntie I know you don't have any babies so you can share me with mommy.
I know its hard but if you give it a little time, she can be one of the best things that ever happend to you.
__________________ Diagnosed-PCOS & endometriosis.
Symptoms- IR, Irregular AF, & Yo-yo weight beggining at 11 y/o.
TTC since 10/08
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Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself. Harvey Fierstein
Thank you all! I am getting a wee bit excited. One sad thing is is that they're in Denver, I'm in Michigan... But I will go out there next weekend for the baptism. Another thing is I'm not a huge fan of my sil. I love her but I don't like her very much and I really don't like the person my brother has become since he's gotten married. Right now though, I'm mostly mad that I'm not thrilled that I have a niece who has a nice normal name and was born to two loving somewhat stable parents... at least my brother's stable....
I am *looking*. I'm a member of Ave Maria Singles which is huge and very Catholic which is important to me. I've emailed scores of people through it and haven't had anything too encouraging. I've had two people contact me and they were both nearer my parent's age! I'm very picky and don't want to date someone who could be my father.... gross!
Here's hoping....
Thanks again!
Love, Kara
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35 pounds lost in 2005! So close to my goal!
50****45****40****35****30*****25****20****15** To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. **10****5**** GOAL! ~Metformin - 2000 mg~Vitex (off for now)~Prayer, lots of prayer
I wish I could mail you the key ring I carried around for so long. It said, "I'm not looking for Mr. Right, he's looking for me!" That and my faith that God knew better than I did (even though I never understood His timing) helped get me through many a bridal shower and wedding. I finally got to the point of telling God I was OK not meeting the man for me if that's what He wanted. That was just a few months before I was introduced to my now DH. He sure was and is worth all those years of waiting.
Thanks Jashobeam, I hope that's the case!! I'm very old-fashioned in that I want to be pursued, not pursue. But I just feel so discouraged. And mad at myself for being selfish. I know marriage is my vocation, I'm just tired of waiting.
__________________
35 pounds lost in 2005! So close to my goal!
50****45****40****35****30*****25****20****15** To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. **10****5**** GOAL! ~Metformin - 2000 mg~Vitex (off for now)~Prayer, lots of prayer
hi, it is hard being the older sibling and the single one. i'm exactly that, too! both of my younger sisters are married and now have children. but i do love being an aunt. once you get to know the little bugger, you will love being an aunt too! as for the rest, i'm not sure what to say, because being single/no kids doesn't really bother me. it was hard at the time of the weddings, to not feel like an old maid, but i've gotten over that. but i wanted to encourage you that being an aunt is a lot of fun. when the kids get older, they can visit you instead of you going to bro/sil's house.
__________________ Chel (36) dx 11/2002 blog.myspace.com/deu316 married 2-17-07 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. to mr. b 220/163.5/140
I am a aunt to 6 nieces and nephews and I felt the same way you do. I would lay at night and cry and wonder why I couldnt have children.Now I love those children more than anything I dont know what I would do without them. Its hard at first but believe me you spend some time with your niece you will love her and you will wonder how you ever felt this way.
Thanks Jashobeam, I hope that's the case!! I'm very old-fashioned in that I want to be pursued, not pursue. But I just feel so discouraged. And mad at myself for being selfish. I know marriage is my vocation, I'm just tired of waiting.
LOL that's how I was too, Kara! Wanting to be pursued. I know in my case it was partly because it made me feel attractive, that I was worth looking at, etc. It's okay to contact the guys, just let them pursue you once they take the bait, haha. You'll get some "bites."
What about just contacting a good number of men through the site and seeing what happens? Just getting out and going on dates would be good, even though I was never a big dater. I met my BF and we were "an item" within a few weeks.
Good luck, I DO know how it feels.
__________________ Jen~25 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. (Chris~29 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. ) We're engaged!!!
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She's very fair for having a rather dark mom (Puerto Rican and Italian). My roommate said She has red hair just like Aunt Kara!
And I have contacted TONS of men through the site but only two or three have written back just to say hey, nice to meet you, I'm talking with someone else right now.....
Thanks for the encouragement ladies. I'll try to post pictures of me and the munchkin after I return from Denver.
Love, Kara
__________________
35 pounds lost in 2005! So close to my goal!
50****45****40****35****30*****25****20****15** To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. **10****5**** GOAL! ~Metformin - 2000 mg~Vitex (off for now)~Prayer, lots of prayer
Awww Kara... She's so sweet!!! Just enjoy that beautiful baby girl. Please have a safe trip to Denver!
__________________ Amber (30) & DH Joshua (28) My Dx:Hypothyroid age 16 Syndrome X including Hypothyroidism, PCOS, High Cholesterol, & Insulin Resistance age 21 Vitamin D Deficiency age 30 My Rx:Synthroid, Lipitor, Yasmin, Vitamin D Supplement, Align
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Please pray for me to love.... 
God will bless you with what will make you happy in love in His time. I know that's not what you want to hear... But please don't doubt yourself. You are one of the kindest, sweetest cysters I know! 
I'm very picky and don't want to date someone who could be my father.... gross! 
