Please pray for my DH who has a serious drug addiction

Patie · 10-24-2002, 09:16 PM

Dear Cyster,
I have come to you for help and prayer. I am really confused and hurt and unfortuinately all the places i've gone for support have told me things I don't feel is right for me to do.
I'll start from the begining. My DH and I meet Senior year in high school. We started dating June 8th of 1996, and got married Sept. 1999. THings seemd like they were going in the right direction even though we knew I would have trouble in TTC. Yet we were willing to overcome the struggle together.
When I married my DH I know he would sometimes smoke marijuana, but he assured me he would not touch it when we started TTC. Of course when the time came he stoped, although I did not know this past year 1/2 he was on crystal meth.
I mean I knew it was around us because a few people in his side of the family did it and stuff. But I never worried because he would always say how discusting it was for someone to ruin there life in that drug.
Well within the past year 1 1/2 he had lost his job and started to spend alot of time with his uncle, who I know would not be a good influence on him.
So I fought with him about it and argued with him about other things like him not looking for a job or helping me around the house.
Then I started to notice that he was lying about lots of things so I became suspecious, and started to look through his things on ocasion.
To make this long story short he started to steal our money for our bills, and he even stole cks from his mother. Then last week I found his stuff. I cried and asked him why, and all he did was look at me as if I discusted him.
I went to his mom, who said she will support me in helping him through this.
THat day i felt that someone through me against the wall a few times. I knew I had to turn to some one so I went to talk to one of the priest at our church. I left there very discureged . The priest told me to get a divorce, that my DH was no good for me and was only ruining and putting my life in danger and that he was going straight to hell. I did not expect to he that from our priest. I need support and thought that he would be able to help us.
So then yesterday I went to see my phyciatrist who told me the same thing to leave him and move on forward for my self.
I so confused, I don't think leaving him I the right thind to do. I married him and took those vowes and I feel I should follow them and help him.
The thing is that I cant do nothing for him untill he admits that he has a problem and he won't.
I feel that prayer is the only thing that can help him, so Please I ask that you all pray for my DH that he may find his way back to the Lord and follow the right path.

Patie
24yrs/ DH 24yrs
Diag PCOS 1999
TTC #1 for 5yrs
HSG (2000) all clear
Male factors/ a bit slow/ currently taking vitamins
Glucophage 1500mg
Prenaital vitamins
Folic acid
Provera/ as needed for AF
3 cycles of Clomid/ 50mg,100mg, 150mg/ failed
4th and 5th cycle of Clomid/ 200mg, 250mg/ Got AF, weak O
5th cycle of Clomid 200mg/ HCGI/ IUI/ Got AF, weak O
6th cycle of Clomid 250mg/ failed
Started Repronex this month/ 2 ampuals a day
HCG 09-16-02/ IUI 09/18/02
Currently on my 2WW
- - - - - - -/ NOT PREG.
Dr. apt. 10/09/02
Dr. said DH sperm count is low/ Dh has to do seman Analyis before i can start my next cycle of Repronex
No longer TTC

Calantha · 10-24-2002, 09:59 PM

I can't believe your priest said that! That's horrible! *hugs*
I will certainly keep you and your DH in my prayers. I would also like to suggest that you try going to a different church for help. Most churches don't consider divorce the first action to be taken when there is ANY problem in the marriage.

There are certainly times when a divorce is called for, but only YOU can decide that. Marriage is based on love and trust. Obviously your DH has broken the trust, but it is up to YOU whether you want to try to help him, and FIX the trust or call the marriage broken and leave. NO ONE has the right to try to force that decision on you in either direction.

I pray that the Lord give your husband healing, and strength to the both of you to get through this difficult time and repair the damage to your marriage. I pray also that the Lord keep you both safe and let no harm come to you from this.

Please remember how dangerous the world of drugs can be. Your DH and his "friends" may do or say things that can hurt you pysically and emotionally, that's part of what drugs do to a person, especially when faced with the reality of their own addiction. Remember that you have to keep yourself safe to be able to help him.

-Brandy

Juana Baby · 10-28-2002, 12:02 AM

Dear Patie:

I will definitely pray for you and your husband. I could not tell you what to do, other than to pray about it and give it to God. I can sympathize with what you are going through right now. I was a "stoner" for quite some time, but finally was convicted by God to give it up to be a good witness to others. My girlfriend and her two kids lived with me for a year because she and her husband got into the crystal and were homeless. No, I did not take her husband in.

One thing that you need to understand about crystal is that it has to be up to the person to stop their behaviour. Usually only a tragic event will stop them. My girlfriend was stopped a year ago when she had a seizure and caught her clothes on fire and burned 30% of her body, lungs and almost lost her right breast. This summer her husband was stopped because he was murdered. I am telling you this only so that you know that it can only be your husbands choice.

Look to God for His answers. Don't let a priest or other people tell you what you should do if you have not prayed about it and felt led by God. Step out in faith knowing that God will provide.

I am very sorry that you have to go through all of this. May God be with you in any decision that you make. Please feel free to write me if you would like to talk.

laural

MaLee · 10-28-2002, 01:36 AM

I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. I am sorry for this long hard road you are now on. I have an Uncle who is a major pothead, so is his wife. They are now in their 40's but have been doing that stuff since their teen's. They are constantly fighting with themselves are the family. I also have an ex-brother in law who just got out of jail because of crack. My SIL did divorce him, but they have a child and she tried to get him to kick the habit. Unknown to the rest of the family, he had been in rehab twice. She told everyone he was working out of state. It has been rough on her. I pray that your husband can see what he is doing before it is too late for your relationship.