Please stop, I want to get off...

Brandy B · 10-15-2003, 06:19 PM

What a ride this has been... Can someone please pull the plug? I want to get off. We found out at 8.5 weeks that our little one was dead. I was given 10 days to m/c on my own before I had to schedule a D&C. No natural m/c in sight, so I called the RE which was one of the hardest calls I've ever had to make. I find out that my RE is out at a conference for the next week and I'll have to wait a week before I can be scheduled. Okay, I had some issues w/ that (I mean they couldn't have told me that she was going to be away when we were first finding out about all this?) Anyways, the week is now past and I am scheduled for a D&C tomorrow afternoon. Wouldn't you know it, I've been cramping all day and have begun to spot. What the heck! So now what do I do? Go through w/ the D&C? They'll do it if I'm begining to bleed on my own, won't they? Do I prolong this for a week maybe two while my broken body decides to do something on its own? And then what if I don't m/c fully and have to go in weeks later to have the same procedure I could have tomorrow? I don't want to have the D&C which is why I decided to wait in the first place. But, God help me, I want this to be over. But then it will never be truly over, will it? If anyone gets this far, thank you for letting me rant. Guess we'll see how tonight goes and make a decision in the morning... I am so tired and sad and just want to know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel somewhere. There is, isn't there?
Many hugs and much love to all of us who are struggling w/ this...

BB

rosstomlin · 10-15-2003, 06:34 PM

Hi Brandy

Really sorry to hear about your news. I had the same thing happen to me but at 11 weeks. I had the option of waiting or going in for a D&C, and I am glad I chose the latter. I didn't start cramping spontaneously. It is still hard some 5 and a half years later. The difficult thing I think is the waiting for it to all be over, and then you can grieve properly. Although I got pregnant 6 weeks later and gave birth to a beautiful healthy girl, the pain is still there to this day.

My advice would be to see how the bleeding progresses and I would have thought that if it got worse, you might bleed very heavily quickly and naturally miscarry, see how things are in the morning.

Good luck, hugs and YES there is light at the end of the tunnel, the pain eases, but you never forget your baby!

I hope this helps

lemondog · 10-15-2003, 07:00 PM

Brandy, I had also started slightly spotting by the time my D&C got scheduled. They did it anyway, and I wouldn't have done it any other way. I know they'll go in and do a D&C even if you're bleeding heavily, just to make sure they get the tissue out. I am so sorry you're having to go through this.
I do also want to warn you, I still had some bleeding/cramping/passing of tissue after my D&C. This is normal in some women so don't freak out if it happens. Also, be sure you get a good medicine like Percocet to help deal with the pain should you have any.

Hugs,
Angela

sparrow · 10-17-2003, 12:08 AM

I had started bleeding before my D&C (that's actually how I found out I was m/c). As it turned out, I had passed almost everything before I went in, but it was a big mental relief to know that the m/c was over. As you say, it will never be truly over; but for us, there was a great deal of relief in getting past the physical part. If you do the D&C, ask your hospital if they will bury the baby for you, if you wish. Please let us know what you decide. I am very sorry you have to face so many painful decisions right now.