Poll! RE Office and kids

wifeofmedstdent · 11-28-2009, 06:21 PM

So my husband and I got in a heated discussion today. We went to the RE's office (this office does not really do endocrine, all fertility stuff) and 3 different women had brought their toddlers with them. I think it could be somewhat painful for many women there and it was a little inconsiderate. Especially since the mothers were constantly begging the kids to sit down and were acting as if their kids were burdens. I get though that a sitter is expensive and maybe they couldn't get one. My husband on the other hand was like, "Oh well everyone here likes kids, right? So it's fine. Women are too sensitive." So figured I'd bring it here and see what opinions you guys have.

PEIKay · 11-28-2009, 06:33 PM

Walking out of the OB/Gyn's office after being diagnosed with PCOS and being told "If you want another child, I need to refer you to a specialist because you're not likely to be able to conceive without help" and seeing all the pregnant women sucked, bigtime, so I rather understand where you are coming from.

At the same time, however, life isn't always easy to handle. It's hard when one is dealing with secondary infertility (as I am now) to feel like you're looked down on by people who have not yet had children but who are facing the same struggles. Someone actually told me "Well you already have one, and should be happy with that."

The fact of the matter, with regards to doctors' appointments, are that it can be very hard to find someone who is willing to watch your kids. This goes double for me, as my son is autistic and requires special handling. I have two people that I will leave my son with (besides his dad, of course) and they aren't always available because they have their own lives. I will likely be bringing my son with me to future doctors appointments, as I do now, because I can't always find someone to take him. I don't think it is inconsiderate, just a fact of life.

wifeofmedstdent · 11-28-2009, 06:36 PM

Personally, I am ok with kids being there. I just wonder if other women find it especially hard. I am a nurse and a nanny and choose to surround myself with children, but know many women who are TTC choose not to. Should be interesting to see the rest of the responses.

Anonykat · 11-28-2009, 06:38 PM

I brought my kids to the RE's office a few times - it's not always practical to get someone to watch your kids - friends and family have their own jobs and lives too, and we don't let people watch our kids that we don't already know. So sometimes I had no choice. Most often it was just for a quick blood draw, too - you wouldn't bring them if you're having a full workup of any kind, but I never thought it was a big deal if I was there for something small.

sarabethbaby · 11-28-2009, 06:40 PM

My REs office does not allow kids at all, and since they usually stop seeing women after 3 months of pregnancy I am also safe from the baby bumps. My OB/GYN does not allow kids either I have watched them actually kick a women out for having her child. However I get surrounded my pg women and it breaks my heart. I don;t think I could handle my weekly visit at the REs if kids were present. I love kids obviously but that waiting time there is real emotional for me.

britta75 · 11-28-2009, 06:56 PM

i agree that it can be hard to find a sitter. i had a 2 yr old when struggling to get pg this time and the few times i saw women with kids in the re's office i thought that could be hard for women ttc. i had a really hard time when women would come out of their u/s with their pics, all smiley and happy. not that i was not happy for them but it was just a reminder of what i so desperately wanted but coulnd't get. i would not have brought mine, but i get why some others would. and as much as you love your kids trying to get a toddler to sit still in a drs office is a task, so while the moms may have seemed to feel their kids were a burden to you likely they were frustrated that they weren't behaving and possibly bothering other patients.

1goodegg · 11-28-2009, 07:55 PM

No kids allowed at my RE's office either. They take a lot of hard cases and don't want any more uneeded distress to those trying.

I've seen a couple of kids there at least one occasion, though. It didn't really bother me. Totally understand about the childcare issue.

I think it bothered me more when some woman was blabbing on about all of the good follicles she was getting during her treatment and I was like having a minimal response to mine. She didn't mean anything by it but it bugged me quite a bit...
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freyabecca · 11-28-2009, 07:57 PM

My son is 9 years old and sometimes I don't have anyone to watch him. I can't not go to my appointments since everything needs to be done at a certain times so I have brought him a few times. At my RE's office there is also an ob-gyn so there is always pregnant ladies there.

Mallow · 11-28-2009, 08:29 PM

Hi ... I never thought it would be considerate to others to bring my child, so I make other arrangements, but you do have to keep in mind that others don't always have the option.

MahoganyJazz · 11-28-2009, 08:53 PM

I don't think having children at an appointment is a problem. However, IMO having unruly children there is. Seeing babies and pregnant women was way harder for me than older children though.

manyfactors · 11-28-2009, 08:53 PM

I think it gives hope. The RE office worked for them! On the other hand I am sadened by kids who haven't been raised to act civilized at a doctors office ect. Kids are kids but lots can be done to train them so people like to be around them.

KaraATL · 11-28-2009, 09:08 PM

You may feel different and see things differently when you have a child. I brought my son to one of my "non-exam" appointments and my dr loved it. I'm suppose to hide my child because of infertility issues? I asked premission prior and the office staff said it was fine and they love children...probably a breath of fresh air from seeing several stressed and depressed people.

fluttercat · 11-28-2009, 09:09 PM

My son always comes with me. As we have no family here and keep to ourselves there is no one to leave him with if my husband comes along. And frankly, if my doctor told me I couldn't bring him I'd make sure to spend my money with another doctor. As long as he behaves, he isn't a problem for anyone.

AmberRN86 · 11-28-2009, 09:27 PM

My RE shares an office with a pediatrition... all kinds of babies! They usually alternate days in the office, but sometimes they overlap. I don't mind seeing kids or babies on normal days, but when I am at the RE it does bother me. It's especially hard when I get bad news like "No follies this month" and then walk out to see 3 newborns in the waiting room.

MOMMYOF2WNTS#3 · 11-28-2009, 10:48 PM

When I was ttc DS My DD was 4-5yrs old, and not in school yet, She went with me to all my appts, my u/s and all. The RE was super nice, and would tell her what he was doing. It was 1.5hr drive there and the same back and i had no family close and Dh worked 1.5hrs in the opposite direction.
I asked if the office allowed children before i chose my RE because i new that would be an issue if i couldn't bring her.

jennifer