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03-02-2008, 12:37 PM
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#1 (permalink)
| | Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 87
Points: 3,852.13 Bank: 1,485.95 Total Points: 5,338.08 |  Possibly adopting ten year old twin boys
Hi girls! My husband and I have tried to have a baby and have suffered misscarages. We don't have any children of our own and we love kids, We just finished taking the mapp classes for theraputic foster care and we found out about twin boys they are 10. for confidential reasons I am going to call them twin A & twin B on here. there are so many children out there that need forever familys and the high majority of the are the older ones. They ussually "age out". These boys ae cleared for adoption and we are soo excited about bringing them in to our home ( if all works out) have any of yall done adoption of older siblings? if so do u have any tips, or suggestions?
thanks,
Nicole
__________________
Nicole 26
DH 26
3 FURBABIES LEXI, MAX, AND JOSEY
TTC #1
IN PROCESS OF ADOPTING
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03-02-2008, 12:43 PM
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#2 (permalink)
| | Seems like yesterday....
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: New York City
Posts: 3,828
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wishing you the best!
good luck! 
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-Rania
MARRIED SINCE 07/2001-
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TTC since 02/2004 - lost a baby 04/2004
BFP! 09/08/06
emergent cerclage @ 19weeks
My Miracle Baby Girl
Jennah Nour
May 10th 2007 @ 38w5d 6lbs 12oz 19in
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03-02-2008, 01:40 PM
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#3 (permalink)
| | Member since Aug. 2003
Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Southern IN
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Good luck...I know there are women here that have adopted older children. They might not be around much. Maybe if you can find them you can pm or email them.
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Amy (31) SAHM &
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Husband (35)
Son (1 year)
Married May 1995
DX Feb 1996
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03-02-2008, 03:05 PM
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#4 (permalink)
| | Registered User
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 492
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Although I've no kids of my own, I teach 27 10ish year olds- it's a lovely age, but they'll keep you on your toes! Good luck!
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Started Lighter Life 07.07.08
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03-02-2008, 08:05 PM
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#5 (permalink)
| | Mama to 2 Babies !
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Wow all the best !! There are a few books about about adopting older children at Chapters. They might help you out.
How exciting for you and your family
__________________ Amy (31)
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DH (33)
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~*~ Everything happens for a reason ~*~ | |
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03-02-2008, 09:58 PM
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#6 (permalink)
| | Loving being a mommy!
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 1,272
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Wow! Good luck to you!
My twins are still little, but I'm looking forward to them being that age
I hope it all works out for all involved.
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Me (28) DH- Tom
IVF #1: Started Lupron 2/6
Started Follistim/Repronex 2/16
Egg Retrieval 2/28- 11 eggs retrieved
8 eggs fertilized w/ICSI!
Transferred 3 Grade A- 8 cell embryos 3/3
+ Beta 8dp3dt = 32/10dp3dt= 144/15dp3dt = 979/
18dp3dt = 2701/22dp3dt= 10438/ US 4/4 It's twins!
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03-02-2008, 10:31 PM
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#7 (permalink)
| | Rah Rah!!!
Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: CT
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Congrats and best of luck. I too teach (as an above poster said). I teach middle school. It's a fun age. | |
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03-02-2008, 10:54 PM
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#8 (permalink)
| | Quinten's finger wrap
Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 2,668
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hi
I have never adopted but i have done therapuetic FC for 4.5 yrs now. jason was a student in my class before coming to live with us (im a special ed teacher). his younger brother also came along. i would urge you to really do your homework, find out their history, request ALL testing and evaluations. obviously these kiddos have some special needs if they are in therapuetic care. be sure you know the whole story. these kids may have attachment disorders which are nearly impossible to break through. we found that with the younger brother. even with our current FC he doesn't have the ability to bond. it makes it very difficult to bond with him.
how well do you know these kids. i would do foster before adopt. why have they not been adopted yet? i don't mean to sound negative, but just really think about everything. when we first took in the kids i thought we would love them unconditionally, and they would bond with us. not true...now 4.5 yrs later I can honestly say there is no real bond. I of course care about him and want the best for him but its not a feeling of love. he doesn't love back.
__________________ Sarah 29, DH Matt 30
Foster Son 16
IVF #1 Quinten Patrick born 3/17/06
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IVF #2 "Lilly" ended in mc 7/21/2007 at 5.5 wks
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IVF #3 11/2007: BFN
IVF #4 4/2008: BFN
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on to adoption??
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Quinten Patrick has reached the terrible two's!
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03-03-2008, 12:34 AM
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#9 (permalink)
| | mother of 2
Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Oregon
Posts: 932
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We are adopting a 5-year-old little boy. He has been with us for 3 almost 3 months now. I would echo a lot of what Sazzi says and just add on that it is the HARDEST thing I have ever done. It takes everything you've got. We also have a bio child, which complicates things.
That being said, children should not be written off because they have some issues. it's really not their fault. If you feel it's right for you and dh, go for it.
One last note, though - make sure dh is completely on board because these boys are likely to want more from him than you or have a harder time bonding and trusting him. He's going to be put through the ringer as well. All the best to you!
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Andrea(31) and Shawn(39) married 10 years
Gave birth to a baby girl in 2004 (she's 4 now), conceived on 8th cycle of Clomid + acupuncture
and adopted a 5 y.o. son in June 08'!
TTC #3! Using Met, Acupuncture, and herbs | |
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03-07-2008, 04:48 PM
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#10 (permalink)
| | Quinten's finger wrap
Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 2,668
My Mood: Points: 36,902.77 Bank: 20,801,514.70 Total Points: 20,838,417.47 |
acro-how are things going with leon? does he have problems with attachment that you guys are working through? its tough when there isn't that instant love/bond. it always made me feel bad, like i was defected or something. its taken me a few years to realize its not me, its the situation.
__________________ Sarah 29, DH Matt 30
Foster Son 16
IVF #1 Quinten Patrick born 3/17/06
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IVF #2 "Lilly" ended in mc 7/21/2007 at 5.5 wks
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IVF #3 11/2007: BFN
IVF #4 4/2008: BFN
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on to adoption??
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Quinten Patrick has reached the terrible two's!
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03-07-2008, 06:34 PM
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#11 (permalink)
| | mother of 2
Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Oregon
Posts: 932
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Sazz - he just has a lot of insecurity and is extremely needy and competitive with Anna. They are very close in age, which is both a blessing and a curse. He is a great kid - it will just take awhile before I feel that unconditional love that kids need, especially kiddos that have been through as much as he has. He is very affectionate and attentive to our emotions, but his neediness has the opposite affect than what he needs sometimes. It an ongoing challenge, but I think we did the right thing.
Thanks for asking! You guys doing all right? Going to do IVF again? I am sorry it didn't work out last time.
__________________
Andrea(31) and Shawn(39) married 10 years
Gave birth to a baby girl in 2004 (she's 4 now), conceived on 8th cycle of Clomid + acupuncture
and adopted a 5 y.o. son in June 08'!
TTC #3! Using Met, Acupuncture, and herbs | |
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03-07-2008, 11:55 PM
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#12 (permalink)
| | Quinten's finger wrap
Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 2,668
My Mood: Points: 36,902.77 Bank: 20,801,514.70 Total Points: 20,838,417.47 |
yeah, i bet it will take some time before that true bond sets in. I used to think it would be easy to jump in and just love a little kid but its just not natural and takes a lot of time. thats good that he is able to accept your affection. im sure he is pretty confused about where he stands.
yep, we are about to start our 4th ivf cycle. i go monday for labs to see if im ready for provera. so it looks like i will have ER/ET end of march/beginning april. christmas baby.
__________________ Sarah 29, DH Matt 30
Foster Son 16
IVF #1 Quinten Patrick born 3/17/06
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IVF #2 "Lilly" ended in mc 7/21/2007 at 5.5 wks
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IVF #3 11/2007: BFN
IVF #4 4/2008: BFN
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on to adoption??
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Quinten Patrick has reached the terrible two's!
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03-10-2008, 07:59 PM
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#13 (permalink)
| | Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 87
Points: 3,852.13 Bank: 1,485.95 Total Points: 5,338.08 |
Hey Ladies
Thanks For All Your Support And Kind Words! I Really Appreciate It!
As For The Boys We Have Recieved The Profiles On Them And We Are Communicating Back And Forth With The Social Worker And We Are All Getting Ready To Have A Meeting ( Dh, Myself, Our Child Placement Worker, The Boys' Social Worker, Therapist, School Teacher, One On One Worker And So On And So Forth. From What I Undersand Thier Are No Secrets In The Profile States Every Behavioral Issue That Has Went On In The Past. Dh And I Are Very Excited. We Are The On The Go Kind Of People And Have Always Wanted A Reason To Go To Disney World Just Kiddin. We Have Plans For These Boys' We Are Going To Take Them On Lots Of Vacations And Do Lots Of Activities And I Just Know That They Will Take To My Hubby Acrosaz I Could Just About See Them All In The Lr Together Playing Playstation And Drivin Me Nuts! Lol.
As For The Mommy Part I Have Wanted Children And Wanted Our Family To Be Complete For So Long I Cannot Wait To Be The Mommy Of These Little Boys! I Am Gonna Be One Of Those Cool Moms Who Let The Kids Camp Out In The Back Yard ( With Chaporone Of Course)
What It Boils Down To Is That We Already Love These Boys I Watch Their Little Profile Video And Get Teary Eyed And I Want Them Home Now. It Just Feel Like They Were Meant For Our Family And We Don't Even Know Them Yet But It Feels Like We Do. Well Ladies Thanks Again.
Nicole
__________________
Nicole 26
DH 26
3 FURBABIES LEXI, MAX, AND JOSEY
TTC #1
IN PROCESS OF ADOPTING
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03-10-2008, 09:43 PM
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#14 (permalink)
| | S@ssy and Uncensored!
Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Savannah, GA
Posts: 102
My Mood:  Points: 2,357.87 Bank: 2,479.48 Total Points: 4,837.35 |
I wish you the best of luck with adopting them and loving them, Nicole. It sounds like a great blessing for you and your family. | |
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