Below is a Beautiful Prayer written by Emily A. Getz from the Stepping Stones Website (www.bethany.org). In my many searches for Christian comfort in TTC on the internet, I stumbled across this. By the 3rd paragraph, I was in tears. I just thought this was too beautiful not to share...I hope this will give those of you also TTC as much comfort as it did for me! GOD BLESS YOU ALL!
Dear Lord, for two years I have been waiting, and again, the answer is "No." I do not understand why You will not allow me to conceive.
I look around me and I see teenagers with babies...friends who have tried for only one month and are now pregnant...women who "accidentally" got pregnant. Why is getting pregnant so easy for some women and so difficult for me?
I know it is unhealthy for me to compare, but today I need to complain. Will you listen? Must I remind You of my situation daily? What will it take?
I do not understand "Your will." Is it really best for me? I want Your will to include certain things for me. What about those faithful women who are patient and still childless? There are many things I do not understand. Lord, let me not make conception a mission and lose sight of the vision. Please protect me from bitterness, jealousy, and self-pity.
Where would I be without Scripture? Sometimes it is my only comfort. My husband tries to understand, but it's not the same for him. I have friends who hurt for me, but they have not experienced what I have. Thank You. Lord, for Your Word that soothes me.
Sometimes the emptiness and sorrow can be overwhelming. Thank You Lord, that every day is not as difficult as today. I know that You have picked me up more times than I even know. You are doing mighty things for me, even now as I write.
Please be patient with me, Oh Lord. You love me and don't want me to be in pain. Learning patience has been the hardest lesson I've ever had to learn. I fear that, if I haven't become pregnant yet, it may never happen.
I am trying to learn how to be content while I wait, Lord. I am trying to learn about trust. Loneliness cannot stay for long, for You lift my head and fill me with Your presence.
How will I respond if I conceive a child? Will I praise You as much as I think I will? Your gift would overwhelm me. Lord, please use my circumstances to glorify Yourself.
I know that there is but one guarantee. I know that You have promised to bless me.
__________________ Ashley Me - 24 * DH - 32 * DD - 17 MO
DX 3/03 Ask and it shall be given to you; seek, and you shall find; knock and it shall be opened unto you. Matthew 7:7
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That is Beautiful!!
Thanks for sharing.
We've been TTC for about 6 years now, and I printed this out to take home to put on my refrigerator and show my husband.
Thank you.
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Ericka(29) Tony(33) Married 9 years Sepember 4, 2006 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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Thank you so much. I am really struggling today and this is just what I needed. Thank you for letting God use you!
I am going to copy this and post in onthe TTC Christain Cysters Thread. If anyone who reads this would like to join, please feel free. I have gotten so much support from all the women there.
God Bless,
Sam
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Samantha
Mom to a 2 yo prince and a new princess...
I am so glad this has comforted you guys. That prayer has helped me get through a lot of hard days/nights of total depression. I KNOW that God will bless us all with a little one someday! Hopefully sooner than later!
__________________ Ashley Me - 24 * DH - 32 * DD - 17 MO
DX 3/03 Ask and it shall be given to you; seek, and you shall find; knock and it shall be opened unto you. Matthew 7:7
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On a Christian site I frequent, someone posted a memo to God. Here it is for you...
Attn: God
Memo re: Allocation of infants
It has come to our attention that there seems to be a surplus of infants in some quarters, and a deficit in others.
For some reason, in the teenage girl division, babies seem to be allocated randomly and without thought. Many of these children are misused, and in some cases, discarded. This is a terrible waste.
Another glut seems to be in the busy woman division. A lot of these women already have children, who have been relocated to daycares and surrogate caretakers. The new arrivals are not welcomed with open arms, but sighs and reluctance.
In both of these divisions, there seems to be a shortage of gratitude for the assets provided.
Most of these infants will grow to maturity in these environments, and still have useful, functional lives.
However, if there are some already allocated but abused, feel free to direct them to us: the waiting division.
Regarding the unconceived and unborn:
Please redirect these children to our wombs. Disregard our blocked tubes and scarred walls, incompetent cervixes, et al. Just use your executive powers to firmly secure them for the duration. If the human model no longer owns a uterus, infants may be secured to another limb, arms, for example.
We are easy to locate. We have empty arms and open hearts. We are surrounded by pregnant women, yet stand slightly apart to protect ourselves. Many of us have broken bodies. Many of us schedule our time around Your allocation days, and our husbands as well. We wait expectantly, follow the instructions for receipt, put in numerous applications and then wait two weeks, only to receive pink slips time and time again. Some of us put in applications years ago and still have not received our children. Some of us received them for a moment, only to have them re-assigned to the heaven division. This is understandable, as heaven must have babies to be heaven.
However, for those of us who are still waiting, for our first or our fourteenth, we are putting in a request to reap in joy. We have sown into the 401 k of tears for a long time, and we’re ready to withdraw our rewards now.
Regarding the “unwanted”- these are an unknown entity to us. Please redirect these mothers on their way to clinics to us. We will gladly be assigned their “burdens”.
This notice is to draw your attention to a potential injustice. Please correct this ASAP.
Signed:
the waiting
__________________ Celtic Spirit
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StaciD - That was AWESOME! Please do tell what website you got that from - I would love to visit it!
THANKS!
__________________ Ashley Me - 24 * DH - 32 * DD - 17 MO
DX 3/03 Ask and it shall be given to you; seek, and you shall find; knock and it shall be opened unto you. Matthew 7:7
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It's a website called Hannah's Prayer. It's a Christian site (and I do mean Christian) that's devoted to infertility (both primary and secondary), pregnancy & infant loss, treatments, adoption, etc. There is a TON of support there!
That is a great pray. I have to admit though, that it does comfort me in the way that I know that I am not alone in my journey. But it does not answer that one question: WHY?
Have you ever felt like you are Sally Field in that one part of Steel Magnolias where she is walking away from the cemetery and she just saying she is so mad, she just feels likes hitting someone, she screams " I just wanna know WHY"? That is how I feel every time I see a baby, or a teenage about to pop any second, or a friend or family member that is pregnant and I know that they don't have the means to provide for child.
I think we go through stages of grief. The longer you are in this journey, the harder the stages are. I have been in the mad stage oh about 3 times now. It is by the way the stage I am in now, again. I have been through the acceptance, I have delt with the reality, I have been through the fear, then I have a few times been through the peace stage where I just let go of it for a while, try to convince myself that my life will be just as good without a child, and I get wrapped up in life and push it all aside. Does anyone else seem to go through this. Oh yeah I also go through the stage where I have more faith than Mary. You know what I mean?
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[CENTER]"The reason why many fail in battle is because they wait until the hour of battle. The reason why others succeed is because they have gained their victory on their knees long before the battle came."[/center]
I have to admit that I had a small chuckle to myself as I read your post. Not because it was funny by any means...but b/c of our similarities. I know EXACTLY what you mean about the Steel Magnolias! I have definetely thought about that part in the the movie!
I also understand what you mean about the stages. Except for me, it can be different from day to day. For me, I had to finally stop asking "why" b/c it was to the point it was driving me mad. I was so angry at the world b/c I didn't understand. Not only was I miserable, but I was making everyone around me miserable. I think we each have our own way of dealing with it, and I don't think there is any wrong way to deal with it. For me, I had to finally give it to God, regardless if I understood why or why not. Since I have done that, I have strangely began to feel peace. For me, it was saying "OK God, I don't understand why you haven't given me a child yet ~ but you say "ask & you shall receive" so I am putting my faith into you ~ I believe that there is something in my life, or a reason, or a circumstance for why you have not given me a child ~ though I may not like it ~ My faith will remain strong ~ And when the time is right for me in your eyes & heart ~ Then I know you will bless me with the gift of a child".
I hope that you can find peace in your Journey ~ Your are in my prayers!!!!!
Oodles of Babydust to you!!!!
__________________ Ashley Me - 24 * DH - 32 * DD - 17 MO
DX 3/03 Ask and it shall be given to you; seek, and you shall find; knock and it shall be opened unto you. Matthew 7:7
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I have told myself finally to quite asking why.
I don't ask why anymore, it just adds more bitterness and frustration to my saddness.
I've gone through all the stages it seems like a thousand times the 6+ years we have TTC.
Oh and add Blame to one of the stages. Blaming myself for depriving my DH of a family. But I know it isn't my fault, but I guess it's just human nature to feel that way.
I too have finally given it to God, and put it in his hands. I do feel more at peace myself, but I have my days. There is a reason we don't have kids right now. What it is, I don't know. But when it is meant to be, I will have that positive test result.
I wonder everyday what's it like to actually have a positive result. I can't imagine the overwhelming feeling, the joy. That's sad.
Well, I think all of us can get through this. I can say it has made me a stonger person, but in the same sentence a weaker person as well. At least I can say I have balance...
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Ericka(29) Tony(33) Married 9 years Sepember 4, 2006 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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I know that I'm one of the ultra-blessed ones who was able to have children, but please know that there are some of us who pray for you all constantly. Having known so many women who just couldn't get pregnant with baby #1 truly makes me sad. I pray everyday for those of you who want children.
It's also the biggest reason why I'm such an advocate for embryo adoption, adoption, and research into fertility issues.
Please know that some of us truly care and are sensitive to you...
And, I pray that you find some comfort in your journey...
Ericka ~ I know exactly what you mean about wondering what a positive BFP would be like. I think about that EVERYDAY! Along with imagining the look on DH's face when I get to tell him! I also know how you feel about blaming yourself. My DH had a SA, and his #'s were off the charts! The avg. is what like 20 mil....Well his count was 100.5 mil!!! Not to mention his motility was like 80% - The man could probably fertilize America ~ Just not me. It was almost like I was comforted to know that we didn't have to "fix" the both of us ~ but on the flip side...It was hard to swallow knowing that I was 100% of the problem.
All things aside...God is wonderful & when in doubt about things ~ I alway have to refer back to scripture....
Remember ~ With God, ALL things are possible. Matthew 19:26
Stacie ~ It is ladies like you that comfort me! Knowing there are other Cyster's out there who were able to conceive give me hope! Thank you so much for your prayers!
Bless you all!
__________________ Ashley Me - 24 * DH - 32 * DD - 17 MO
DX 3/03 Ask and it shall be given to you; seek, and you shall find; knock and it shall be opened unto you. Matthew 7:7
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Yep, I too imagine the way DH will react. Got it all planned out in my head...lol...Just waiting to for the day to put that plan into action about telling him...
DH has been tested as well, and he is normal as can be. So I understand. I'm sure it is frustrating to be normal and it's your spouse who is the problem. I would probally be frustrated too if I was the one who was normal, and DH was the problem. Although I would be as equally supportive as he is.
StaciD-Wow, I want to really thank you for your kind words, and prayers for all us TTCers. That was really special what you said. We said we would adopt if it came down to it. But that will be our last resort, but defiantly an option. I think I would try embryo adoption first. So I could try to expieriance the pregnancy. Even though the child wouldn't carry our traits, it would still be our special delivery. I too totally believe in embryo adoption, and research on fertility issues.
The key is to never give up, and have patience. Wether it is with God or TTC.
Take care,
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Ericka(29) Tony(33) Married 9 years Sepember 4, 2006 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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Like Stacie, I hope I don't offend by posting here. Please understand that while I am finally pg it took me 9 years of waiting and crying and praying and grieving and accepting and denying and being angry etc... Also know that no matter what happens you could still have 10 kids but the experience of infertility will stay with you forever. It is like a character trait. I will carry my scars forever. But not only scars, also the faith in God. I just rested in faith and when I couldn't anymore, my wonderful dh carried me in the faith department. All I can say about my situation is that even though we would have been ok if we had gotten pg right away, I look now and know that God chose His perfect timing. We are more spiritually adept now, stronger faith, older and more mature, and God lined up everything in our life right when we found out. Like Stacie, I pray for you too. That your faith will be strengthened and that He will grant you your desires.
The only other thing I will mention is like you guys, I had it all planned out in my head how I would tell dh when I got that blessed bfp. Well I got mine on the 4th of July and I cried and cried in the bathroom while dh was still in bed. He thought "man a bad dream couldn't have been that bad" I climbed back in bed and the only words I could barely wishper was "I got 2 lines". He was unimpressed with how I told him. Don't be surprised if yours isn't fireworks either. You are so stunned when you waited so long that you barely want to say it.
A Prayer For A Woman In Waiting ~ BEAUTIFUL! 
