Question about adoption forum postings

svaldez · 05-06-2008, 06:29 PM

As I have mentioned in previous posts, my DH and I keep going back and forth on where to adopt. We have discussed domestic private, China, Columbia, etc. Now we are thinking Korea because you can have the baby escorted (taking a 2 or more week trip would be very difficult for my husband's job and also our 3 1/2 year old). But we are also still thinking a private domestic adoption would be good too.

Our main problem, like many of you, is coming up with the 30k!

I have been digging around and see some forums that have listings of specific opportunities. For example it would say something like "16 y.o. Hispanic girl due May something...etc"

How does this work? DO you hire an attorney to work through?

Are these opportunities for real?

Has anyone done something like this?

Thanks in advance for any insight or advice you may have!
Sharon

navymdwife · 05-07-2008, 04:04 PM

Sharon, I don't know about the specific postings you're talking about, but I will warn you that there are a LOT of scams out there. I would recommend an agency-assisted private adoption. In that situation, any potential birthmom is referred to the agency you're working with and they do the sticky job of confirming pregnancy and assessing bmom's preparedness for placement. Then, if all is well, you proceed with an attorney-facilitated adoption.

I see you're in NH. I know of an agency in NY that does this type of placement, but I don't know if they work with people in NH. If not, they can probably refer you to an agency that could help you. The agency is Adoption STAR: www.adoptionstar.com.

Hope that helps!

Miss-Meme · 05-07-2008, 06:56 PM

The ones that aren't scams are posted by Felicitator (I think that's what it's called) but basically they match people, but also get a cut of the fee.

I was scammed by one once.

sazzifrazz · 05-08-2008, 10:17 PM

i could have written that post myself! i like the idea of korea just because of the option of escort. I loved the idea of kahzastan (sp?) but the travel requirements are just ridiculous! phillipines is cheaper than most but requires a short travel. russia has a crazy stay....its like 2 trips, one is a month! who can do that?

svaldez · 05-08-2008, 11:25 PM

Thank you all for the replies!!

navymdwife- I know there are scams out there, that is why I was so leary. It does seem to be postings by a facilitator who you then pay, but after I dug around a bit more, their were many many warnings by people who were burned by that agency! So scary!

Miss-Meme- I am SO Sorry you were scammed! Geez, it is unconscionable! As if it weren't difficult enough!

sazzifrazz - Many of the countries we simply had to rule right out due to travel requirements and all. But Korea feels like a good fit for us. and we are pretty excited about it. We are thinking of using Wide Horizons and are going to a talk about it on Tues. It is so much money, that will be our next hurdle!

Thanks everyone!
Sharon

Miss-Meme · 05-09-2008, 12:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by svaldez

Miss-Meme- I am SO Sorry you were scammed! Geez, it is unconscionable! As if it weren't difficult enough!

Thanks. It was some time ago now. But it still hurts sometimes to thing about if it was real we would have twin girls about 5 or 6 years old. But I wouldn't have my son right now. So it all works out.

Good luck with Korea. Travel time is why we did not even think about international adopt. Korea sounds like a good choice then. But Unfortunately DH's father was in Vietnam and is VERY Uncomfortable around anyone who looks Vietnamese. Even though we know he would love the child very much, we wouldn't want him to feel uncomfortable and bring up bad memories.

mommavia · 05-09-2008, 08:20 PM

We adopted from Korea! If you have any questions, please ask!

We traveled, and while travel is not for everyone, Korea is a very easy country to travel to. For the adoption portion of the trip, you need to only be there for 3 business days and you will meet your child's foster mother. That in itself is quite an experience. I am looking forward to going back in a few weeks to bring home our second son...and our first son will be coming along.

As for financing an adoption, it is a chunk. But there are so many ways to save and "find" money. Getting a home equity loan is a good way. I know several people who asked family and friends through a letter for any help they could provide (financially, committing to pray for the process, etc) and were helped greatly. We used 401ks the first time around and this time it happened to be that DH re-enlisted in the Marine Corps and got a fantastic re-enlistment bonus.

This time we also fell in love with a waiting child. Waiting children often have reduced fees to enable them to find a forever home a little faster. If your heart and home is open to a child with a medical concern, this is a good way to have a more affordable adoption. WHFC usually has several little ones from Korea (and has one now who I have been praying for for quite a while...he is adorable but too close in age to our oldest). www.rainbowkids.com has tons of children waiting for homes.

http://www.angelfire.com/journal/ado...adopthelp.html is a good place to find some help too.

Cynthia

svaldez · 05-10-2008, 09:44 PM

Mammavia-

Wow!! Congratulations on your two adoptions! That is so wonderful. Thank you for the links. We have a savings plan and talked with the agency about the fees and how they fall throughout the process. My father-in-law will also help us when and if we need it. It sure is a lot of money, but so worth it.

4 days of travel isn't too bad at all! It would be a great experience for our DD. We will have to talk about it more as we progress.

What was your time frame like? We were told after we submit the application it is about 1 1/2-2 months before we have a home study and do all of the education stuff, background checks, etc. Then it is 10-13 months before you receive a referral/ Once you have a referral, it is 4-6 months to bring home the baby. Such a long wait!

Sharon

dingbat · 05-10-2008, 10:48 PM

All I can say is my beautiful angel came from Korea and he is the best part of my life!! IF you have any questions about the process feel free to ask away!!

mommavia · 05-10-2008, 10:57 PM

Our timeline for Jack in 2004/05 was HS completed and set to Korea in August 2004, referral of Jack in March 2005, travel in June. We started all the paperwork in March 2004 (with USCIS and agency application). His process was a little fast for then, and there were 6 families that had been waiting for a referral longer than us. Jack was born with congenital cataracts so he wasn't assigned to a family for referral and wasn't considered a waiting child yet. As soon as I read the 2 short line about him in the weekly update email from the program coordinator, I knew he was our son!

This time around, we have skipped the wait too. We finished our HS last October but we were still on the wait list for a formal application with our original agency (AIAA). We spotted Sam on a waiting child list with CHSFS and fell in love. So we switched agencies and learned on March 4th that we were matched with him! It was 3 years to the day that we learned Jack was our little one too! (and their birthdays are Dec 27 and 28...I hope these boys are as close as everything else so far!) We received our official referral on March 13th (CHSFS had to get our application for their agency and get everything together) and everything has been smooth sailing since. We are now waiting on Sam to receive his VISA (and maybe his emmigration permit first if he doesn't have it already). It could be next week or another month or so...we don't know. Korea is kind of mysterious when it comes to travel, but I can deal with it...most days

It seems that each agency has different timelines because each one works the process a bit different on this side. It all depends on the size of the agency, their agreement with Korea, and the Korean agency they work with (there are 4: Holt, SWS, ESWS, and KSS). This forum is the most active Korean Adoption forum on the web. It's not just for Holt clients, although most of the members are. It's a great place to ask questions, learn about the process, and be in contact with others at various stages in the process. There are many WHFC families on the board too. And you'll probably see me there too

Cynthia

How many MDs does it take · 05-19-2008, 08:08 PM

I didn't have too much time to read all the replies so I apologize but those that said you found your child in Korea my question is: how do I find an adoption agency? I have about 10 books from the library on adoption but with an 8 month old I have NO time to read them. I know you have to be married 3 years but I was thinking of calling and asking if you can start any paperwork before then? I just have no idea where to START

Any help?

mommavia · 05-21-2008, 12:09 AM

Korea is pretty strict about the 3 years of marriage. Sometimes you can start on your homestudy within a few months of your anniversary, but it depends on the agency. A good place to locate which agencies work in your area is www.adoptkorea.com. Most agencies are listed there for each area. Another good place to get info is on the Holt Korea Forum. Most of the posters are clients of Holt International, but there are many, many families who are not, and it's the most active Korea forum on the web that I am aware of!

Please feel free to PM me with any questions

Cynthia