a question about the bible.... barrenness..

scarletakb · 05-22-2002, 03:22 PM

I'm a christian and TTC (10 years).. and haven't been very lucky.. and the possibility is very good that I will never be able to conceive. In our church... family is EVERYTHING! Children are pretty much the norm, and I feel very left out not having children. So, I pulled out my bible, and look to find a "friend" from the bible who also wasn't ever able to conceive.. and, guess what.. there is NO one in the bible who was barren and DIDN'T eventually conceive. Even Sarah eventually had a baby... I want to know WHY!!!! It's bad enough that we are "left out" in the world.. but to be left out of the bible is tooo much... Why didn't God provide reassurance for us that are destin to be childless?? that it is okay and that we are still part of gods kingdom.. or maybe its his way of telling us that we don't belong to his kingdom...

yistersister · 05-22-2002, 04:05 PM

Please don't think for a minute that lifelong barreness means we don't belong in the kingdom. Remember Paul had what the bible said was a "thorn in his side" while obviously it wasn't infertility, he was told the God's grace is sufficient for him. Paul to my knowledge was never healed or relieved of whatever ailed him. This life is far from fair. We were never promised everything. I wish I had an answer but I also don't want to give you platitudes either. My DH and I have been trying for coming up on 8 years. I know your pain and feelings of being left out. Please just know that you have support here and with God.

I don't know if this will help or not but I just started reading a book that was recommended here actually. (Thanks Laural

)
It is called "When Empty Arms becomes a burden". From what I have read it has helped. They have a chapter in the book about how to deal with the end not ending in conception.

Your in my thoughts and prayer!!
Debby

littleflower · 05-22-2002, 04:50 PM

...and the book does mention some women in the Bible who were barren and never conceived, although they aren't obvious individuals...

Littleflower

Juana Baby · 05-22-2002, 08:21 PM

I have to agree. I do not think that "barrenness" was left out of the bible because we do not belong in His kingdom. If God did not want us to belong in His kingdom, it would say "For God so loved the world (except for the infertile women)"........ Or for that case, why aren't dinosaurs mentioned?

Please do not think we, as infertile women or parents involuntarily without children, are an oversight, or left out. God loves us very much. Sometimes, we have to live by faith alone, and that is so hard to do.

I know this sounds like a "pat" answer, but take this concern to God. Let him know how much this hurts you and that you need to be comforted because of this issue. Pray about it and I know eventually you will get the answer you need or the comfort.

laural

AmericanWoman · 05-22-2002, 09:20 PM

"Sing, O barren, You who have not borne! Break forth into singing, and cry aloud, You who have not labored with child! For more are the children of the desolate Than the children of the married woman," says the Lord." - Isaiah 54:1

(This is talking about the Church.. the chapter goes on to show the Lord's kindness and spiritual children.)

This is a good verse for you.

HISIRISHGEM · 05-23-2002, 12:29 AM

Just thought I would let you know that God said "Be Fruitful and multiply" many times in the Bible...maybe not alot are in there because eventually with FAITH we will have a child. Many think that conception is the only way, but thats not all true either. Yes, its something we all want, and God knows the desires of our hearts, but there are so many children out there who need women like us who will love them unconditionally. I have so much faith...I know that God has a plan....we prayed for a year about what to do as we haven't yet conceived, can't afford to adopt, we have so much love to give as many of us who have fertility issues tend to..........God answered our prayers in many ways, he is uprooting us from Upstate NY to the Ohio area, has provided a nice house with a wonderful dream kitcken and back yard free of charge, we won't have to pay for utilities, and will be foster parents to three teenage girls who have been abused, or neglected. Its not going to be easy at times, but how fullfilling to know that if only for a while we can steer these children in the right direction and give them the foundation in Christ that they need to make it in this world. Some may not accept it, but others will.

Gods not doing this for punishment on us, I feel that many of us not only have alot of love to give, but have so many gifts that need to be used if only we would let our pain go and see how beautiful we truely are both inside and out. Never think that God is punishing you, as a matter of fact, He's by your side holding your hand when you cry at night and helping you to grow within yourself. You have to know that You are gifted and God wants you to start using those gifts right now, because you think that they aren't useful or good enough your hiding them, but God wants you to know that there are people around you who need the gifts you have to help them in their walk with Christ.

~Rebekah~

Lisa75 · 05-23-2002, 03:43 AM

I'm sorry that you are going thru this and you have so many questions. I know where you are coming from. I myself have been TTC and want a child so badly (for going on 9 years now)and I think why that person and not me, why why why? But ya know what, I know God loves me and Jesus died for me and the desires that I have he has gave me and I need to learn to take my problems, needs and desires to the Lord. He's with me always, as he is you. He loves you and when you hurt he hurts.
I don't know what the Lord has in store for me, but I'm believing and not going to let the devil rob me of my dreams. I am standing on his word that I "WILL" be a mother. I don't know if I will have a birth child, but I am believing I will be a mom to some little one. And God knows the "perfect" timing. Its not my time, but its His time. And I may think that right now is the "perfect" time, but he knows whats best for me and my husband. It will happen. I know he works miracles because I am a miracle. My mother adopted 10 years before I came along and she didnt' think she would ever get pregnant. The Dr's didn't either. I mean who would think someone would with a One ovary removed and only having a quarter of the other one left with cysts on it at that. But The GREAT PHYSICIAN knew he could do it and it happened and I'm here today!
This is so hard and I don't know anything that I can say to you that will make things better. But I know someone that can speak to you and can help you if you will tell it to him and ask him to help you. He can help you. Cast your cares upon him.
I will be praying for you.
I was watching Joyce Meyer the other night and she was talking how the Devil works and how he told Eve, "surely you won't die" if you take and eat of that tree and thats what he tries to do to us, he tries to say things like "SURELY you won't have a baby" , "surely you won't get a pay raise", surely you won't ever get out of debt" what ever your dream is, surely you won't get it. Yes he likes to tell us that, but don't let him rob you of your dreams! Have faith and believe and tell that sucker where to go!!!
God bless ya hun...I will be praying for you. But yes God wants you more than ever to go to eternity with him in his kingdom. I'm going, and I plan on seeing you there

AmericanWoman · 05-23-2002, 01:20 PM

Rebekeh, that is so beautiful and awesome, your post (and what you and your hubby are doing in the Lord!)

I am an Aunt to 4 special kids and have acted as an auntie to friend's kids. Some kids are so starved for attention.

This helps me bear the fact I may never have children (I am not even married yet!)

HISIRISHGEM · 05-24-2002, 04:49 AM

Thanks AmericanWoman!!

I truely believe that we all can be mothers in some way. The children that we will have soon just haven't had the right foundation and I'm so thankful that God has blessed us with this ministry!! Oh I'm sure there will be some difficulties, it would be naieve of us to go in thinking that everything would be perfect for these children who have had less than normal upbringnings. However knowing that we will have a great impact on them and give them the foundation in Christ that they will need will bless us beyond anything we could ever imagine.

I know how hard it is to be without children. Though Doug and I have only struggled for alittle over a year, we still feel it. I couldn't imagine feeling that way for years and years...but I know that God has something in store for all of us....not just me, not just other women, but us all!! He doesn't treat one child better than the other. He loves us all the same, Its just we were all made different with different qualities and gifts that God wants to use in one way or another.

I just learn to Praise Him everyday even through the rough times....He must know what He's doing more than I do!!

I've also learned to be truthful with my own faults as well......I ask for forgiveness...like today.......there was a major traffic barrier, and we needed to be somewhere, I was one half hour late, but I snapped at my DH, the people that were driving slow, and well, anyone I could....so I asked for Gods forgiveness and have actually learned how silly I looked while being that way. Hopefully I'll have learned something from it!!

Anyways, I was glad that you were blessed by my response. Just know that God has a plan for you, don't give up on those plans to have a baby..........God wants you to have the desires of your heart.....thing is, just when you get negative and think you'll never get it, He tends to make it happen when its un-expected. Just a thought, but start praising Him and work through those harsh feelings....it works for me......I know that we were struggling with finances for a year...sometimes eating at soup kitchens and getting food from food pantries. Its a humbling experience to go from eating food from a top notch store to a food pantry, but I believe that God helped us become thankful and more so True servants unafraid to approach those who are overlooked alot. Sounds like you have that gift too! Never lose that gift!

~Rebekah~

missyraye · 05-24-2002, 05:07 AM

I just wanted to thank you all. I have these huge tears in my eyes right now, not out of sadness, but out of joy to know that I wasn't the only woman with questions... and then to read all your wonderful responses! I truly feel more and more blessed every time I come to this thread! Thank you all (again!!!)

HISIRISHGEM · 05-24-2002, 03:56 PM

I'm glad that your mind is at ease. Just remember to trust in God and he will direct your path. It's not easy to see women with children....... my sister-in-law keeps thinking its a race to whom can conceive more children, myself or her...she keeps telling me that i'm losing. Needless to say that she's got three and is trying for her fourth...she has told me on one occasion not to call one Thursday as they are TTC. She knows that I have pcos and that right now it's alot harder for us fertility wise.....yet she keeps this on. I've chosen to ignore her as she really doesn't know how rude and hurtful the things she is saying are. She is otherwise a very nice person. Anyways, seeing people time after time conceive and never having conceibed yourself hurts....we sometimes look at our circumstanes and forget who's in charge. God is much more powerful than any one or any thing. He knows our hearts and won't let us down. Like his word says, if we only have the Faith of a mustard seed.....we can be able to move mountains.