Question about siggies in loss areas

JuliannePCOS · 10-14-2005, 06:34 PM

I was on another board for about a year and a half. It was mostly TTC related, but there was a loss section and also a pregnancy section and a mommy section, etc.

When I first started, there was a sticky that said something like "Please turn off your siggies if there are pictures of babies in them in respect for those grieving a loss." Or something like that. Good idea I thought.

Well recently I noticed that the sticky was not there and there were an awful lot of posts that had pics of babies in them. Personally, it doesn't bother me but I can see how it might bother some. I guess I decided to ask about it as an advocate for those of us who have angels and are not sure what to say or how to bring it up.

Well the recently appointed moderator of the section basically said that in no uncertain terms would she request that of anyone... in fact, if pictures bother someone then they should just turn their siggies off altogether! (She was quite rude about it, btw!)

Am I off base or should those sections (like this section) be treated with a little more sensitivity than that?

I've decided that I won't be visiting there much anymore. I'm just wondering if I am being oversensitive or unreasonable.

Gnzls924 · 10-14-2005, 07:09 PM

No i don't think you are being overly sensitive about the siggies. I am very surprised at the rudeness of that woman at your suggestion. My goodness, you were only trying to offer a suggestion! But as far as the pictures of babies, at times, I am saddened to see the pics, but then i think about how babies are truly miracles, and that helps me through it.

I would guess that it all depends on your current situation. When I was pregnant, it was hard for me to see miscarriage listings in someone's siggie. Now that I am a mother without a baby, at times, it is difficult to see siggies with babies in them. But I believe that this website is such a Godsend for a ton of people here, sometimes you have to try to overlook them....or when posting, you have to be conscious of who your audience might be on a particular board.

I think what we should really be upset about, are the siggies with these HUGE pictures in them...LOL

(wondering if my picture of Ginger is too big????)

VivC · 10-14-2005, 07:17 PM

I don't think you're overreacting. If there's anything in my siggie that might hurt anyone in any particular board, I turn it off.

Mich831 · 10-14-2005, 07:37 PM

I am sorry that mod was so rude to you.

I think everyone feels differently about sigs in the lost boards. Some people say they don't mind and others do (understandablely). Personally when I lost my first baby there were days that I really couldn't look at a PG woman let alone look at baby pictures. Then there were days that it didn't bother me and it sorta gave me hope that I would one day have a baby of my own.

It's such a touchy subject. I personally turn off my siggie with picture when I post here on the loss threads. I don't want anyone who felt like I did to feel even worse.

This is all just my honest opinion.

Michele

LaurAnnHere · 10-14-2005, 07:45 PM

I turn mine off out of courtesy. Every once in awhile I leave mine on when someone asks for hope. I always say why I left it on, though. I think that my siggy shows hope after conciderable loss.

SheriKCMO · 10-14-2005, 08:10 PM

I don't do tickers or pictures for this very reason. If someone wants to ignore my story down under, it would be pretty easy to do. The flashy stuff is very noticeable. I've been sensitive from time to time, but never enough to ask about turning them off. After all, most PCOSers have at least some sort of struggle to get those babies, so I have always appreciated them.

I agree that the moderator was way out of line, even if she disagreed with you.

TracyW2 · 10-14-2005, 08:25 PM

I always turn my siggie off in this forum. I know how hard it is when you are first going through a m/c.

~tracy

enits · 10-14-2005, 08:28 PM

Jules, you're not off base at all!

I agree with you that the mod was rather rude! Bleh!

I personally don't mind to see photos or what not on someone's signatures. What bugs me, though, is when people attach HUGE I mean HUGE photos of anything in their siggies that it makes the pages to load rather slowly. I hardly see that on SC, though (probably from a different board). But that's a separate issue of mine and I've learned to ignore it as well.

JuliannePCOS · 10-14-2005, 09:31 PM

Thanks guys. I'm glad I am not alone in my thinking.

As I've said before, I think having a m/c has made me more sensitive to others.... and, when in doubt, I prefer to err on the side of oversensitive than not sensitive enough.

Kristina921 · 10-14-2005, 10:03 PM

How do you turn off your sig for one post?

Oh and btw, when my last loss was still fresh, it bothered me alittle to see baby pictures and even pregnancy tickers but as time goes on, it diesnt bother me as much.

Do you think TTC stuff would upset some people? I always leave my sig on because it doesn't mention living babies but it does mention TTC and it never occured to me that people would be upset by it....

ETA : I figured out how to turn of the sig

CelticSpirit · 10-14-2005, 10:18 PM

I *TRY* not to offend anyone with my siggy. If I do, someone please PM me and just smack me in the head for it.

I know how I felt when I had my losses, I would hate myself to know that I caused someone additional pain over their loss.

JuliannePCOS · 10-14-2005, 10:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kristina921

Do you think TTC stuff would upset some people? I always leave my sig on because it doesn't mention living babies but it does mention TTC and it never occured to me that people would be upset by it....

Nah, I don't think TTC stuff is offensive.

*Clarissa* · 10-16-2005, 02:03 AM

I think that most people here are very considerate. On the loss board I typically turn mine off, unless it is an update thread, since I have pics of my miracles, it also includes info on my losses. Noone here has every offended me with their siggys.

ETA: I just realized that my avatar has pics of them too. Does that bother anyone? I wonder if their is a way to turn it off? But I am so proud of them, that I hate to turn it off or change it.

JuliannePCOS · 10-16-2005, 02:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pa1nter

ETA: I just realized that my avatar has pics of them too. Does that bother anyone? I wonder if their is a way to turn it off? But I am so proud of them, that I hate to turn it off or change it.

I definitely think that everyone here is incredibly considerate.

And I think an avatar is fine.... IMO anyway. On the other board, some ladies had practically life sized photos (ok that's exaggerating) but they had the pics that you had to "scroll" an entire page to get to the next post.... you know?

enits · 10-16-2005, 02:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JuliannePCOS

I definitely think that everyone here is incredibly considerate.

And I think an avatar is fine.... IMO anyway. On the other board, some ladies had practically life sized photos (ok that's exaggerating) but they had the pics that you had to "scroll" an entire page to get to the next post.... you know?

Jules, I know what you're talking about! You scroll through an entire page to read the next post, and then the person with the life sized photo replies again and you have to scroll through the whole page to get to the next!!! I guess the good thing about here on SC is that we only get to see the siggies once on the top of the page.

It seems like the women who come to this pregnancy loss forum are very considerate of each other's feelings. I like that.

Hi Clarissa!!! I love seeing photos of your babies!!!