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Old 01-02-2009, 03:02 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Question for bfs and husbands

how did you react when your female partner told you about PCOS? how do you deal with the issues that she has to go through? i.e. the extra hair?
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Old 01-03-2009, 04:15 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I would like to ask the same question too!
I am 23 and I've never had a boyfriend because I'm embarrassed of the excess hair all over my body and face.I think I will never find a man.
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Old 01-04-2009, 07:29 AM   #3 (permalink)
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never say never... there are some males out there that must either be ok and or willing to understand and supportive about it. but it is an issue that is a concern, trying to look a guy in the eyes and tell him is not easy. I would love to hear some guys points/experiences.. but so far nothing
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Old 01-06-2009, 01:40 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Hi ladies - I'll add my $.02.

I was 20 years old when my then gf told me she had PCOS. I was young and clueless; it didn't bother me that much because I had no idea what PCOS would mean to my future wife.

Now as I'm approaching 40, I look back and wish that we had taken steps to deal with her PCOS when we were younger.

There is no way around this simple fact: looks are important to men. But that's not the whole story. The main thing isn't a woman's weight, or excess hair. The main thing that will impress a man is if you are trying to fight for your health. You're trying to eat right. You're trying to exercise. You don't accept the easy way out. You're trying to beat this. If you do that, you will be attractive to your man, no matter your weight or excess hair.

So my advice as a hubby of a cyster: take PCOS by the horns. Do it for yourself, and do it for the man in your life.
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Old 01-06-2009, 09:02 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Mr.NorthSouth - I appreciate you taking the time to post your thoughts/experiences… I was sort of like that myself when I first heard about it, they told me at I think it was 14 they think I had this or might have it, I figured their doctors, they will fix it… I’m 22 now, I still suffer with a lot of the symptoms and for about the past year or so I have gotten really into researching PCOS and facing it my own… the past 6 years and so many tests and struggles have really taught me that you cant always count on doctors to have answers. It’s a slow process and I do worry about how my symptoms will effect a relationship, your experience gives me hope
thank you.
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Old 01-07-2009, 03:46 PM   #6 (permalink)
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I am 20 years old and iv had PCOS since i can remember but wasnt really told about it till i was 18. My boyfriend understands clearly what i have and hes always been so helpful. He is always reminding me about my appointments and always is curiouse aout wat the drs tell me. so ladys there are men that are willing to love you regardless if u have alot of hair or if u have gained weight.
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Old 01-07-2009, 06:10 PM   #7 (permalink)
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My husband loves me for who I am, but I will say this... he's loves that I am concerned about how I look when I am around him and even more than that... that I'm trying to life a better lifestyle so that I can be healthy. I have gaines 60 pounds since dh and I have been together, so it's not that I haven't gained weight, it's that I am determined to get it off and keep it off... I guess what I am saying is... If a man really loves you, he will love you whether you have pcos or not... I just think when it comes to realtionships, it will do us ladies good not to let pcos become an excuse for us to let ourselves go.
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Old 01-07-2009, 06:11 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beby88 View Post
I am 20 years old and iv had PCOS since i can remember but wasnt really told about it till i was 18. My boyfriend understands clearly what i have and hes always been so helpful. He is always reminding me about my appointments and always is curiouse aout wat the drs tell me. so ladys there are men that are willing to love you regardless if u have alot of hair or if u have gained weight.

I wish my husband was that concerned! LOL! My hubby is perfectly fine with the fact that I have pcos because I don't let it control my life our get in the way of our relationships, but when it comes to appointment's and such, unless I am bleeding to death (and I've had some scares) I'm on my own!
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Old 01-11-2009, 01:30 AM   #9 (permalink)
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My boyfriend is very supportive. I was scared to tell him about all the parts of PCOS, but he took it all in, and is great about it. I struggle with my weight and he knows this. He never makes me feel ****ty about it, but he also motivates me to keep up my work and to not be discouraged. Sometimes my mood swings make it very difficult for him (and me), but we have gotten through a lot together and will be celebrating our 2nd anniversary soon. I feel very blessed.
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Old 01-13-2009, 09:43 PM   #10 (permalink)
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My boyfriend has also been very supportive of me. I met him this year in college and I could just tell he was different than any other guy I have ever dated so I decided I could tell him and trust that it wouldn't scare him away. He knows about all my medical problems that come along with PCOS and everything else I have like ADD. He knows about my birth control and knows when I'm PMSing and to say out of my way when I need it. He really is great about it with my mood swings I can really treat him crappy but he still loves me the same. I know I'm really lucky to have found a guy so understanding.
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Old 01-14-2009, 03:49 PM   #11 (permalink)
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I am worried about getting diagnosed, because I know that my boyfriend REALLY wants to have kids, and he would be very disappointed if we couldn't in the future... but he is so supportive of my health, it's incredible. He is always there for me when I need to talk through how I'm feeling, or if I simply need a shoulder to cry on because of it. He obviously appreciates when I dress up to look nice for him, but he's so understanding of the fact that some days I just don't have the energy to wear anything but my PJs and a ponytail. He always tells me that I'm beautiful, no matter how I look. I'm honestly in shock that he's willing to put up with me and my health for the rest of his life. heh.
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Old 01-14-2009, 04:25 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Well what I have learned from my doctor and many of the women on here. The whole having kids thing is very possible with PCOS. My gynecologist told me her daughter has it too and shes expecting her third child. I had the same problem cause even tho we are young I know my boyfriend wants to have kids. He is also supportive and will do what ever it takes to help me get through this and for us to have kids in the future. From the sounds of it your boyfriend will do the same
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Old 01-17-2009, 04:18 AM   #13 (permalink)
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I think if you can manage to love and respect yourself then that is the battle won and people will respond to that. That being said, I am not quite there yet and my bf of 9 years (with a 3 year gap in the middle) is not the most sensitive of human beings, especially when it comes to weight and hair. I have put on a good 30 kg (66 lbs) in the time I have known him and I know this is a big obstacle for him. Lord knows why, he's not the epitome of male beauty, health and sexuality himself, but I guess this is more important for men than it is for women? Physically, he's almost everything I DON'T want in a man, except for his beautiful brown eyes, but I love HIM, his personality, sense of humour, individuality and never bothered about the outside. It was very, very hurtful to me to learn that he did care so much about what a person looks like. But, we are still together, albeit with some problems, so I guess it's not insurmountable.
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Old 01-24-2009, 02:53 PM   #14 (permalink)
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I was very glad when we finally found out why everything was like it was. Beeing in the dark about it and not a have a clue about why it was all happening made me at least feel hopeless.

Now I know what is causing us having problems getting pregnant, why she has gained weight and basicly why all the pcos symptoms have shown.

Now we can deal with it by learning more about it. Its a long road and a hard one and I do feel so sorry for my girlfriend for what she has to go through and I am very proud of how she is dealing with it.

Like Mr.NorthSouth said here above, its not about loosing weight, its about trying to do as much as you can and not give up. Giving up and becoming depressed is very unattractive, doing your best truly is attractive.
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Old 02-01-2009, 10:43 PM   #15 (permalink)
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thanks everyone, I'm happy I got to read so many experiences, special thanks to the few guys that responded with their experience/opinions and thanks for the ladies sharing your stories, I'm sure it will help give us single cysters a bit of hope of finding a decent guy ourselves
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