Question To Help My Daughter

mkjk4 · 04-05-2003, 08:16 PM

My daughter is only 9, but has been very hairy all over since about 2. She has expressed sadness in the last year or so that so many have been teasing her. I can do my best to console her, and teach her how to deal with immature and rude people, but sometimes I don't know what else to say or recommend. I always tell her she is beautiful (don't all moms say that?) and that when people tease they are only trying to make up for their own insecurities. Plus I try to help her understand that God made her and he loves her exactly the way she it. But besides all that, what else do you ladies recommend on dealing with this? I had/have the same issues and know how she feels, but can't wave a magical wand to change anything. (Lord knows, if I could I would fix all of us!!) Also, is there any over the counter products that can be recommended for a child to help in areas like her upper lip? Her yearly exam is in 2 weeks and I plan on asking the physician about this, but just wanted some input in the meantime. Thanks to you all in advance!!!

~Kimberly

cmeredith · 04-05-2003, 11:00 PM

Kimberly,
I don't know any answers to give you. I just wanted you to know that your daughter is in my prayers. Children can be so cruel. My heart broke when I read your story. I know how the hair situation makes me feel, it just isn't fair that your daughter, so young, is going through this. I think that you are doing wonderful things for her by telling her how beautiful she is. I hope that your Dr will shed some light on this. Please keep us posted, this will be some good info for the rest of us. Take care and lots of ((((((((hugs)))))))) and prayers are coming your way.
God Bless!!
Cristi

Jllrdh · 04-06-2003, 12:50 AM

Kimberly,
I wish my mom was as concerned as you sound. I too was teased and still am, I am sooooo hairy, specially my arms, and I work as a therapist with young children, who always have to point out that I am hairy. I think Its great that you are taking her to the doctor, and taking it seriously, I was only diagnosed last August the day I turned 40!!! Maybe you could use the bleaching stuff on your daughters upper lip, if she is interested. Or maybe Nair, but I think waxing or anthing that would be ouchy is out of the question. Although my neice started electrolysis when she was only 14, it was her decision, and she has a lot of facial hair. In fact when I was diagnosed, her doctor just assumed she had it with her symptoms of hair and acne. At least my diagnosis helped her. It sounds like she also might be having depression, and it might help her to be able to talk to a therapist or someone that she thinks of as neutral. What can I say, since I'm one I think everyone should see one.
Oh well,
I hope this rambling on helped a little bit.
Jenny

Bonbon77 · 04-06-2003, 03:38 AM

I was teased as a child for having a mustach so I feel for your daughter!

I started using bleach when I was 11. I would call her doc first but I cant imagine it would hurt her.

Good luck to you and your daughter! I know as a mom myself when my dd has come home complaining of kids being mean to her I want to take the pain for her and make it go away. Its hard to watch them be sad! Hang in there!

Lenorah · 04-06-2003, 01:30 PM

I have had hair on my lip since I was about your daughters age..... at 13 my mom let me bleach it.... and at 16 I could wax or cream hair remove... Children can be so mean, I know... Ill keep your daughter in my prayers.
Ps Ask the Doctor about it. Your daughter will thank you. I know I did not want to have to ask my doctor and my mom did for me.... I never told her but I was sooooo thankful!

mkjk4 · 04-06-2003, 02:22 PM

Wow! Thanks you guys for the encouraging posts. I will be sure to consult the doctor (for my daughter, so she doesn't have to. Good suggestion Lenorah!). I have been hairy all my life too and really hate for her to feel so insecure, so maybe we can look into some of the ideas to at least help her with the most obvious places for now.

Since many of us had this for so long, is there any connection that it is genetic or can start at an early age like this? I know she has not started her cycles yet, but then again, girls seem to start so much younger than us these days. I was just curious, as I want to do everything in my power to ensure my kids have all of their health-care needs met. (I wish my mom was that way, I was lucky to go for a physical!)

Anyway, I guess that is why I want to do all I can for my kids.

Bonbon77~ you have three daughters? I was joking to my husband how the doc was warning that twins and triplets are always a possibilty and that I just knew they would be girls. He said he would be the guy hanging in the back yard by a noose! Ha Ha! Congratulations on quitting smoking!! Oh, and Jenny~I think everyone can benefit from some good therapy in their lives. Lord knows I understand that!!

Thanks for the thoughts and prayers from you Cristi! I will be sure to keep you all updated!!

Sincerely,
Kimberly

Emily02 · 04-07-2003, 12:17 AM

Hi,
My heart goes out to your daughter. Many of us know how hard it is as adults to deal with side effects of PCOS such as excess hair and weight, etc., it is doubly hard to deal with as a child.
I am 27 now, and having suffered with PCOS in varying degrees of "severity" since the age of 12, the best advice that I could give would be to find a good endocrinologist, especially one who has experience with pediatric endocrinology. Even just one or two visits can help tremendously--I just wish that the doctors that I badgered from the ages of 15-22 had taken me seriously.
There are many types of medication and other therapies that are available now that weren't around or recognized as recently as 10 years ago. This site is a wonderful repository of information--use it often!

Your daughter already has several things going for her: your support and knowledge of this problem, her young age (the younger that PCOS is recognized, the better) and the fact that in addition to the medications, other gentler cosmetic and alternative therapies (as regulated by a doctor) are available in abundance. Also, if a young girl starts menstruating early (I had just turned 10) or suffers from other symptoms of early puberty, that can be a sign.

My last piece of advice is for your daughter to find and really focus on a strength of her own--a hobby, talent, or interest that can not only avert her attention from the cosmetic effects of PCOS (because with early treatment they will subside) but that will provide a therapeutic outlet for her as well. I know that my interests during my teens helped boost my confidence and self-esteem. And that was without knowledge and treatment of the "disease". When the umpteenth doctor tells you it's "all in your head", you start to believe it!

Your daughter is so lucky to have your support! I do so hope that you both find a good, caring and knowledgeable doctor and that we all will one day not have to devote a second to worrying about PCOS and it's physical and cosmetic effects on our self-esteem.

Please take care...