I live in Fort Worth and I am doing research on the adoption agencies and wanted to know if anyone has gone through Buckner or anyone else that used them...I know of a few friends that have adopted from them and raved about them and just wanted some extra input....
Also I have got another question....or really it is that I need advice....my dh and I have agreed to ttc for 1 year....which is fine....but I don't really want to....I feel so drawn to adoption.....that is what I have been thinking about for years....I know that with my PCOS it will be hard....and to tell you the truth I am just ready to be a mom, which I know that with any process....adopt vs. natural...that there is a wait time....so how to I go about with ttc for a year....I know that the process for adoption is long....but I feel as though I am just biding my time until we can start doing something....anything....looking...talking about it.....meeting with some agencies.....I feel just frustrated because if I even bring it up then he gets mad and says that I am impatient.....I do love him....but this is just a strain...and I know that I need to get past it....but I don't know if I can have kids....the dr. has told me that it is going to be a long shot...and a long shot that is going to take time....we could start the process of looking at adoption....please any advice would be greatly appreciated!...
What does your DH think about starting the process for adoption while TTC? IF you already answered that and I missed it, oops
We were TTC while filling our adoption homestudy requirements and ended up getting pregnant after our homestudy was complete. Granted, we had a different situation seeing as we already have children but I wouldn't have felt right not TTC since that is what DH wanted to do. Now I am babbling and not really sure I am saying what I mean so I might come back to all that later.
__________________
~*~ ARMY Family ~*~
Angela & Shaun
Nate 9, Nick 5, Katie 3, Kaleb 1
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I don't know about ttc while starting the process....hmmm...that could be something to think about...I think that it would some what of another compromise...that could be made....I don't know how it would feel....maybe I could broach the sub. with him about it.
I was seriously done TTC before this baby and more than ready to get on with adopting already. However, we want to adopt through the state and we do have some (how do I put this nicely without sounding stupid?) "requirements" such as we want to adopt a boy, under 6, white or mixed, and with little to no special needs. It took us a long time to figure out what kind of child would work for our family and for now, that is what we are looking for.
I NEVER thought it would take more than a year with no response to our homsetudy being submitted for what seems like hundreds of kids. We have only been selected as a final "pool" family 3 times in the past 18mths and none of those have been since we are expecting again.
We are still planning to adopt and I still submit our homestudy when I find a boy that I think will fit our family but I am glad that I did TTC, even if it was for DH's sake.
__________________
~*~ ARMY Family ~*~
Angela & Shaun
Nate 9, Nick 5, Katie 3, Kaleb 1
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Adoption is a process where unexpected things happen along the way a lot. It can be very quick or very long just depending on the circumstances. My suggestion would be to get everything together during this year. You can save money. You could also start your homestudy. If you do your homestudy this year that is not a committment to adopting, but it will prepare you for adopting. You have to do one whether you are adopting domestically or internationally. There are a few things that they do different for them, but if you have an idea then I would tell the social worker. Also, there is nothing wrong with interviewing agencies or attorneys during this time. All of this is preparatory for seriously committing to adopting. Part of the homestudy involves writing your biography so that is something to start now. Also, your homestudy agency doesn't have to be related to the agency or attorney that you are using to adopt.
Hope this helps!
__________________ Mommy to Andrew b. 2002 a. 2003
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We are going through the foster to adopt process right now. We live in Waxahachie so we researched allot of agencies around the Fort Worth area (that is where I am originally from). Buckner is a great agency and has a good reputation. Also try the Arrow Project (website www.arrow.org). We were going to use them but could not make it to the DFW area for the classes during the week so we went with a local agency. We have some friends that are going through Arrow and they love the agency. We spoke with a couple of people over the phone and they were very impressive. From looking at the website it may look like they deal more with older children but they adopt 0-18.
I agree to start the process while TTC. My DH and I have been TTC for 3 years and will continue to do so even through the adoption process. Just think of it this way, if you get everything done and do not get pg you can move immediately onto adoption without going through the paperwork and homestudy. Good luck to you!!!
Our agency didn't say we couldn't be ttc but they did ask questions about whether or not we had grieved over the idea of not being able to conceive. I felt like it was important to my emotional health to kind of close that chapter in my life and even try on the idea of not becoming a mother and what that would look like before coming to the decision to adopt.
It sounds like to me that your real challenge is somehow you and your husband getting on the same page. I think I would sit down with him and share what you shared with us and find out what his concerns or thoughts are and see if you both can come to some sort of middle ground.
What I definitely hear you saying is that your heart's desire is really to become a mother. Just know that it can happen.
Blessings to you!
Julia
__________________ "To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children...to find the best in others; to give of one's self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived...THIS IS TO HAVE SUCCEEDED" Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Our agency didn't say we couldn't be ttc but they did ask questions about whether or not we had grieved over the idea of not being able to conceive. I felt like it was important to my emotional health to kind of close that chapter in my life and even try on the idea of not becoming a mother and what that would look like before coming to the decision to adopt.
It sounds like to me that your real challenge is somehow you and your husband getting on the same page. I think I would sit down with him and share what you shared with us and find out what his concerns or thoughts are and see if you both can come to some sort of middle ground.
What I definitely hear you saying is that your heart's desire is really to become a mother. Just know that it can happen.
Blessings to you!
Julia
Julia,
We are looking at it like this...we know that God has planned for us to be parents and well, I am guessing right now that we will know either way if natual vs. adoption will be the way to go...because the doors will open up...right now....I am leaning towards adoption, because that is where my heart is....he has agreed to look at adoption agencies and we are going to an orientation meeting in a few weeks to find out more about it....we are taking our time....he does know how badly my desire to be a mom is...sometimes I don't think he understands....how could he....but anyhow, it is just one of those things for us...thank you for the comment!
I think it's an excellent idea that you guys go to the orientation! That's kind of what "sealed the deal" for us. My husband was kind of like yours with the not quite getting the deepness of my desire to become a mother. Honestly I don't know if many men really "get it". It's such a biological thing for us that just goes to our core.
Anyway it sounds like you have a wonderful plan and I'm sure that the orientation will be a great experience. When we went to ours last year at this time it filled me with hope that I had almost let go of. I'm so very glad that we went because in a few weeks we'll be bringing home our little Katherine Rose!
Let us know how your orientation goes!
Julia
__________________ "To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children...to find the best in others; to give of one's self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived...THIS IS TO HAVE SUCCEEDED" Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Question....and I need advice..... 
