Question for Married/Non-Single Ladies with Excess Hair

sleepydumpling · 03-19-2005, 02:44 AM

Hi Cysters

I've just got to ask all you marrieds and non-single girls with excess hair.... how do your partners find your hairiness? Every man I seem to meet considers me "non-feminine" (and as my doc says - I conceal my hirsuitism very well - so it's not like it's obvious) just because I have dark hair on my arms. How would they cope if they saw me before I shave my face or saw what was on my tummy or genital region?

How did your partners react the first time they saw these things? Are they supportive? Do they just take it for granted?

And the big question - where the hell did you find them!!!

Thanks in advance for your help!

hurrihottie · 03-19-2005, 08:36 PM

well im currently single..but my ex would joke about my moustache...i never bothered doing anyting about it when i was with him..but now shave wax and pluck daily

*pEaNuT* · 03-19-2005, 08:56 PM

DH could care less. He is so supportive and always try to make me feel better about it!!

tlcur107 · 03-19-2005, 09:04 PM

My DH is the same way. He's very supportive. We don't really talk about it, which is wonderful. He knows how uncomfortable it is for me, and how embarrassing it is for me. When it's the right guy, they love you no matter what.

When he saw the hair, it wasn't even an issue. He just told me I was beautiful. They're out there, it's just tough to find them. Good luck!

BTW, I met DH online!!

LadyAirlie · 03-19-2005, 09:21 PM

Thank you for asking this question. As a single woman I have been dying to know how you married ladies found your man. It is very inspiring to hear about your husbands, I swear sometimes I think it will never happen for me...but you guys give me hope that someone will accept me. Thanks for sharing your stories.

TDoern · 03-19-2005, 09:59 PM

My husband doesn't even talk about it... when I say it's gross, he says I'm beautiful... when I ask him about he says he doesn't notice it...

He says as long as no hair on my body (save head) gets longer than his he says we are okay, otherwise he'll get a weed eater... (it's more a joke because I hate shaving my legs).

Where did I find him? 10 years ago on the internet believe it or not, we talked as friends for years, met, were still friends, he moved away again (army brought him to my city), we stayed in touch, he came to visit once, and we've been inseperable since.

tariana · 03-19-2005, 10:45 PM

Vince doesn't seem concerned about it; if we talk about it, he says "It's part of a medical condition, not like you can help it or would choose it". Trust me, he finds me attractive!

He's known about it since a couple months after we started dating... I didn't want him to get involved with me if having a bio kid of his own was really important to him because I have no idea if I can have kids, but luckily he and I want to adopt anyway!

I didn't tell him everything in gory detail, but he went online and looked up a bunch of stuff on PCOS anyway, so he knows pretty much all about it.

As for where I found him: online. Yahoo Personals do work! Two years to the day after I sent him that first email, we got married!

sleepydumpling · 03-20-2005, 12:46 AM

Thank you all ladies for replying. It really does help me deal with all of this to know that not every man out there is so superficial that he can't see past my PCOS symptoms!

LadieAirlie it's good to know also that I'm not the only worried single girl out there too! I too often think it won't happen to me (I'm 32 - and have been single for a LOOOONG time!) but these girls are so inspiring! It makes it so much easier to deal with all of this knowing that these things are attainable to us PCOS girls too!

Hugs to you all - and please keep posting here girls - the more information the better!

K

konzter · 03-20-2005, 01:18 AM

My husband and I don't talk about it and he has never once made a rude comment about it. I once told him shaving under my arms irritated me and he said "well, don't shave, I don't care" lol!

He is the most wonderful man in the world. Never comments about my hair, fat, strech marks, all that good stuff! Oh, and we met at college. He was a "player" from what I was told but boy is everyone wrong! He is the best man ever!

BTW... he can't say anything about my hair.. he is soo hairy.. lol!

Connie

Lfgd20 · 03-20-2005, 01:19 AM

I too am single...and wondering if I will ever find a guy! I am only 22 so I have plenty of time, but having PCOS doesn't help! I am very self concious about my looks, but not vain. I just care how I look and it bothers me when I don't look right. Now I don't have to look perfect by any means...just nice. I can have my scuzzie days at home where I just lie around in my pj's or throw on shorts and a tshirt and run to the store.

But I do wonder when I find that man, if he will mind about all my "PCOS" stuff!! Kristi

LadyAirlie · 03-20-2005, 04:54 PM

Sleepydumpling+ so glad to meet a felow single cyster in her 30's...I am fast approaching 31 and feel like an old maid.

Thank you so much for all of your replys ladies!!! I am so sensitive about how I look, and am terrified to ever tell a man about it. I think it is because my dad was REALLY mean to my mom about all of her PCOS stuff...thankfully they are divorced, but hearing all of the horible stuff he would say to her over the years scares me to think that I may end up married to someone who does not accept me the way I am...sigh...to bad I don't believe in sex before marriage or else I could give a guy a preview ahead of time...oh well, God can take care of things, I just have to let him.

knowing that there ARE men out there who love PCOS women helps big time!

tariana · 03-20-2005, 07:11 PM

LadyAirlie,

It is so cool to find another woman who believes in waiting until marriage to have sex. DH and I both waited and believe me it is SO worth it to know you are the only one for someone.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that you will find a great guy for you who loves you in spite of everything -- where are you looking, if anywhere?

macalla · 03-20-2005, 08:18 PM

Hi all, we should have a compotition to find whos go the most hair where, i have lost hair on my head at the front and gained it on the side of my face right up to the lip area, chin, under the chin, chest and have a full back yes i said full back very dark long hairs, a long trail on my stomach to my bottom part, a jeti there, my backs of my legs and fronts top to toe, forgot to mention the arms, some on my hands, and toes, even some of my hairs have split ends, i hate going out soooo aware of people looking, i never go out unless ive plucked my face. just started metformin 2000g, but can say my husband is the best, he just says theres nothing wrong with me, and tries to be understanding. so whos hairier.
take care macalla

LadyAirlie · 03-20-2005, 08:24 PM

Tariana...thanks for the pep talk...currently I am not looking for anyone, I guess I just figuered that I would let God take care of it. I have to confess though that I have been waiting until I get my weight down and get my PCOS under control before I actively seek anyone. I know that it sounds crazy but for me I feel like I need to be this perfect package for someone before I marry them. I feel like I will be asking them to put up with so much via the whole PCOS thing that I want to try and be the best I can be for me and for them before hand. Also I am in my last year of college so I am really focused on that. I don't feel that it is fair to ask someone to wait for me until I am done with my teaching credentials.

I am 30 years old right now, and my mom keeps pushing me to get married...she has even joked about getting me a subscription to Eharmony.com I just died when she said that...but told her if I am still single at 33 then she can get me a subscription. I think that it is interesting that many of the women who have posted on this board met their husbands online...very interesting indeed. Like I said I am just letting God take care of it for now. He knows what I want and need better than anyone so I feel comfortable leaving it in his capable hands.

AprilLynn · 03-20-2005, 08:30 PM

Well, I am not married (I am divorced) My ex would make some jokes about me needing to "pluck my mustache" but other than that he didn't really bring it up, I wouldn't even be bothered with the guys that tell you that you look "non feminine". Sound like jerks to me.

((HUGS))

~~April~~