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Old 11-26-2006, 10:36 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Question...this might seem rude...but I swear it is not...

O.k. I have posted in here before...but right now I am focused on seriously ttc...anyhow, for as long as I can remember I have always thought that it was going to be hard for me to get preggo...so I have always tended to lean towards adoption...dh doesn't want to right now because he was ttc too...so we have put of anything with adoption...we have gone to a couple of agencies and we did find one that we liked...the rates were a sliding scale that went off our taxes...well here is the catch and I need to ask a question:

1.) If we were to send in our paper for this year then we would be charged $12,500 for an open adoption for an infant.

If we wait til' later on then for this year if we did it for next year then we would be charged $20000....because this year we had an unexpected $12000 gift from his employer for winning a competition...anyhow....I know that the price of baby should not be negotiated...but we are not rich by any measures...and well...I think that we should go ahead and send in the paper work....I need opinions on how to do this...can someone please without getting mad at what my motives tell me what they think?

Thank you!
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Old 11-26-2006, 11:05 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Instead of thinking of it as "the price of a baby" think of it as agency fees. You are paying the agency to lead you through the adoption.

When you send the paperwork in is completely up to you, I don't think anyone else can answer that question for you. I'm not a big fan of debt, but there are 4 things I think debt is okay for: your house, your vehicle, your health, your child. When you send in the paperwork it is important for both parents to be ready to start the journey. Things can move faster than planned!

Good luck,
Cynthia
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Old 11-27-2006, 01:23 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I completely agree w/ Cynthia. Don't think of it as "buying" a baby (I had to "school" my SIL about the adoption costs & that we're not buying our daughter, the costs are for agency fees & her care before we receive her as well as to take care of other babies in her orphanage). If you were pg & didn't have insurance you'd have to pay the hospital. Would you then be "buying your baby"? It's the same difference.

Don't apply if you're not both ready to adopt b/c that's just bad all around (for your relationship & for the new baby if you're both not in to it). The same goes for TTC if you were ready but your DH wasn't...

Good Luck!
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Old 11-27-2006, 10:08 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Definetly dont do it if your dh is not 100% on board with it.

I am looking at my 2 adopted children right now and know 100% that if my dh was at any time not with me on it I couldnt do it. These kids need everyone on board all the time.

Despite the bonus $$ you have come into I would think long and hard about it Kids are amazing and worth it no matter how they come into your family. A little debt when you are completely ready will be worth it.

Good luck !
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Old 11-27-2006, 12:41 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I do understand where ya'll are coming from...I have never thought about it as buying a baby...But dh and I did talk long and hard about this last night...we are on some what of a time table for ttc vs. adopting...we are going to wait a year and if nothing happens then we will re-look at adoption...I would never ever want to do this if dh was not on board...thanks for all the replies!
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Old 11-29-2006, 10:31 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Good luck in the next year with your ttc'ing We are always here if you need us !

Take care,
Amy
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Old 12-17-2006, 03:18 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Totally off topic but is Molly Sue a Havanese? We have two Havanese little adorable terrors. LOL
Julia
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Old 12-17-2006, 01:56 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Totally off topic but is Molly Sue a Havanese? We have two Havanese little adorable terrors. LOL
Julia

Nope she is a shiatzu...isn't she adorable...by the way your little gilr is so cute!
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Old 01-01-2007, 06:18 PM   #9 (permalink)
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When we were with an agency that used a sliding scale, they went by your income in the year that you are placed with a child. So if you didn't adopt until say Feb 2008, they would want your 2007 income.
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Old 01-21-2007, 08:14 AM   #10 (permalink)
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I just wanted to wish you the best with everything this year!
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Old 01-21-2007, 12:02 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Thanks everyone for the advice and thanks Lisa...I hope that this is a good well of course (in the area of ttc). I do hope that ttc succussfully does happen...but I am still excited about the prospect of adopting...
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