Question re: Christmas for non-Christian Cycters

Kristina921 · 12-21-2005, 03:13 PM

Ok, so I consider myself Pagan...I have not practiced Christianity in I can't even remember how long....I do celebrate Christmas, you know putting up a tree and lights and that stuff because it's a habit I just can't break.DH and his whole family are Catholic and I won't try and take that from him. I do celebrate the winter (Yule) and and the beauty that comes with it but not so much the birth of Christ. So at work, I keep getting Christmas cards and gifts from co-workers...alot of them are religious in nature. I don't mind that so much because I don't get offended easily....I am thankful that they thought enough of me to give them to me...How do I handle the fact that I don't give gifts and cards in return? Should I say something or just say Thank You and leave it at that? I do feel bad that it seems so one sided. I did bring in some candy canes and some cookies for everyone but is that enough to make up for not buying gifts? Not to mention being poor! I was thinking of bringing something small related to Yule and give it to them without mentioning that it's not really a Christmas gift. What they don't know won't hurt them no?

Thanks for any insight and I hope I have not offended anyone.

P.S. Anyone doing something special tonight?

naomijw · 12-21-2005, 03:31 PM

Hi there, I don't want to sound ignorant here, but can you just give me a description of what Yule involves and is, and why you celebrate it? Cheers

Kristina921 · 12-21-2005, 03:42 PM

Sorry! That would have been nice huh....

Yule is a Pagan holiday centered around the winter solstice. It's the longest night of the year and we celebrate the rebirth of the Sun King (Oak King). After the winter solstice is when the sun stays in the sky longer and makes way for the spring and the rebirth of the earth. It actually reminds me of alot of the traditions of Christmas with the colors red white and green and the burning of a Yule log. The herbs used are associated with Christmas also - pine, frankincense, holly and mistletoe to name a few. I hope this was a good explanation...if not, I hope someone will elaborate.

Thanks

Chigal · 12-21-2005, 09:34 PM

Personally, I sent HOLIDAY gifts to my gentile friends. All my cards to co-workers said happy holidays. People tend to forget that there are those who do not celebrate Christmas. It's perfectly ok to send thank you cards for gifts and such and leave it that that. It's also perfectly ok to make cookies or brownies in a nice winter-scened tin, given as gifts. Hang in there, hun, the insanity will be over soon!

rainyangl · 12-21-2005, 10:01 PM

Hi there and Happy Yule! Just because you had a tree and celebrated xmas before doesn't mean you can't do the same for Yule! As a matter of fact it is a Pagan tradition to set up a tree and decorate it with bells and bows. You could also make homemade wreaths. A lot of pagans fill their home with plants and trees as a way to remind them of Spring. I also give homemade gifts to friends and family. Right now I have sprigs on mistletoe in my house from my tree out front. You know that celtic druids viewed mistletoe as the "semen of the gods" because of the liquid in the berries and because it blooms in the dark womb of winter? Neat huh? hehe

DiamondInTheRough · 12-21-2005, 11:31 PM

When people at work would leave me a christmas card, I would email them and thank them for the gesture, mention that I didn't celebrate Christmas, and briefly talk about the next holiday my faith had coming up.

In terms of 'treat days,' where I worked at it seemed everything and anything was an excuse for a treat day! Whether it was Christmas, Easter, St. Patrick's Day, Valentines Day, First Day of Autumn, WInter, Spring, Summer, etc., etc. I didn't mind bringing things in on those days, but I made sure that I especially brought things in for my own holidays, even though there were no "treat days" designated for my holidays.

Chigal, it's weird, since you've started the other thread, I've been more mindful of public greetings, and I've noticed most now say Marry Christmas AND Happy Hanukkah! Isn't that great!?

Take care

Kristina921 · 12-22-2005, 12:08 AM

Thank you all for your responses. I do feel sort of caught in the middle...Because we do sort of celebrate Christmas at my house...DH and I exchange presents and such. I guess in my head, in not Christmas and for him it is. I will have to get used to saying Happy Holidays...That seems like a catch all for many religions...It's not so much the Christmas talk and gifts at work, it's more the religious cards that I get and stuff. I think it's also where we live...bible belt south and all. People here think nothing of leaving highly religious cards for you without considering you may not be Christian. I would never do that, not wanting to offend anyone. That might also be the New Yorker in me because that's where I grew up.

Thanks All! Happy Yule and may the spring bring many blessings to you.

Chigal · 12-22-2005, 02:08 AM

That might be it, Kristina. I grew up in New York, too, where they had Christmas trees and menorahs side by side, and nobody much cared WHAT you were. Down here in the South, it's very different. They don't seem to understand or WANT to understand peoples' differences, because it's always been a certain way here. Things ARE changing, but they're slow. I am glad you're noticing the changes, Diamond. Most businesses here are opting for a neutral "Happy Holidays," so as not to offend anyone, and some churches are threatening to boycot them because they don't say "Merry Christmas." If someone says "Merry Christmas" to me, I usually reply "Thank you, and to you," and leave it at that. That usually happens when I leave money in the Salvation Army kettle, and YES, I do give them money. They do good works. It's just what you're comfortable with.

mnl1010 · 12-22-2005, 02:34 AM

I am in agreement with the pp, If someone were to say to me " Happy Hanukah" I would never be offended by that and my reply would be " Thanks same to you" It does not matter what you say, or what religion you choose, whomever is saying Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukah, or whatever they are celebrating, that person is merely wishing you well in their own way. Why can't all people just understand that?

Mandy

Oh and I think the candy canes and cookies are wonderful to give... I think when someone makes cookies and such and gives them out its very thougtful. I would not worry. If they "expect" a gift from you they are missing the whole point of the season. Holidays are not just about getting stuff, its about family and peace, and love! I think all religions can agree on that much can't we? LOL.

( If that sounded snotty, I totally didn't mean it that way, lol. Sometimes its hard to get the tone right when you are posting)

PollySis · 12-22-2005, 06:17 PM

As a pagan lucky enough to have 2 big gardens one front one back of our house, I have my own little xmas trradition of *rescuing* a rooted xmas tree! Each year, I buy one and instead of bringing it in the house (killing it!), I plant it in the garden. So far, I've kept them alive as even the trees sold as *rooted* in pots, usually die as they've just been ripped out of the ground and stuffed anyhow in a pot of soil. My kids think it's hilarious but every year they secretly enjoy the rescue mission! I've planted them in my front garden, with some variegated holly and some heathers, so we get the added bonus of winter colour. I don't desecrate them with lights or anything, though!

Some years, we go to the nearby woods and pick up deadfall pine, cones, and cut some holly from the huge old holly tree in there to make a wreath for the door. We didn't get round to it this year! Some years I also get a yule log to burn in the fire for Dec 21st - also from the woods - but also didn't get time to do that.

I hate to see the dead xmas trees thrown out in the first week of January - it seems such a waste, and so pointless. Years ago I bought a cheap and nasty fake tree in Woolworths and resurrect that for the kids, as I won't have a dying tree in the house. I remember the smell of them from my childhood, and it was lovely but you can get a bottle of pine essential oil for a fiver, or some frankincense and stick that in an oil burner, to get the same effect.

Polly x