Question for those on depression meds

lisawise · 09-06-2002, 03:26 PM

Hello all. First, I want you to know that it's taken me a lot of courage to write this post. I'm in a really difficult place right now.

I am currently seeing a therapist for a host of problems in my life, most of them having to do with my marriage. The specific details of my problems are not important for this message. I'll just tell you that DH and I still love each other, are committed to each other and are trying our best to work out our problems (his, mine and ours collectively -- he's also seeing a therapist for depression) But right now I have no idea if we'll make it. This is hard.

My employer offers an "employee assistance plan" where you get six, free, no-questions asked therapy sessions without the involvement of any insurance or referrals. I have 2 sessions left and my therapist told me that I must see another therapist and a doctor because I have a major depression and should be on medication. So now I have to call my insurer and ask for a referral for both a therapist and a M.D. to prescribe the pills and I may have to see my regular doc if I can't see someone soon. My therapist is concerned for me and is worried that if I wait the 6 weeks it will likely take, I could be in trouble.

Honestly, this frightens me. I don't want to offend anyone, but I'm scared to take any meds and I'm scared to think that what I thought was just general unhappieness, is something clinical and troublesome.

I have several friends with depression, all of whom are on meds, and while I know that the medication helps them tremendously, my friends also tell me that their meds make them: gain weight, lose interest in sex, feel fuzzy mentally and physically.

A friend of mine, a brilliant writer, tells me that she does not write as well while on meds. The "spark" is gone, she says. I'm a writer myself. I don't want to lose my "edge." I know that depression meds don't turn you into some doped-up moron, but I'm still scared.

Also, I have spent 4 years on WW and I finally am at my goal weight after losing 90 pounds. Gaining weight, which as we know is very easy with PCOS, terrifies me. I have been overweight my whole life and I don't want to ever, ever go back there. I just want to feel better,and I wish it would just happen on its own. I have good days, but other times, I can barely go on living.

So those of you currently on meds: what are you on and what are on the downsides? how did it change your perspective on life? how did it help? what do you feel like on them? I could really use some advice.

Again I hope I didn't offend anyone on this board. My questions are coming from a person who just doesn't know a lot about this subject. Thanks in advance for your understanding.

Dani UK · 09-06-2002, 05:22 PM

Hi Lisa

I had the same apprehension as you about the meds. I didn't want to feel like a zombie and not know what was going on around me.

Therapy is a very difficult thing, and things usually get worse before they get better. This is why most therapists prefer people to be on some sort of medication, so that when the depression gets worse, there is something supporting you (if that makes any sense!).

For me, I am on Fluoxetine (Prozac). As far as I was told, it is the only anti-depressant that doesn't promote weight gain. On the contrary, it has a tendency towards weight loss, and I can confirm that!

My dosage was increased from 20mg to 40mg. Although I was doing OK on 20mg, I am doing much better on 40mg. It takes a few weeks for the medication to kick in, but once it does, it just seemed to make me cope better. I was at a point where I couldn't even leave the house on my own or do anything. I seem to have a better perspective on things. Together with the therapy, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I was told that prozac is not an addictive drug, which I was very thankful for. It was one of my biggest worries.

All in all, I feel great on it. But I think half the work has also come from the therapy. Meds alone aren't the answer. They have to be met half-way.

Anyway, enough rambling from me! Let's see what other cysters say!

Take care and let us know what you decide,
Dani

hunterli · 09-06-2002, 06:04 PM

Hi Lisa

I too have depression, also linked to my marital problems (see my earlier posts!), and like you I am not sure if my marriage is going to survive.

Like Dani, I take 40mg Fluoxetine. I have not gained weight, and if anything my ability to orgasm has actually improved!!

When I first increased my dose from 20mg to 40mg, I had a couple of weeks when I couldn't concentrate AT ALL, mostly because my mind was "too busy" but this has improved over time. I started on 20mg felt a definite improvement, and then slipped back, increased my dose to 40mg, felt good again, and am currently having a bit of a slump. I next see my GP in 2 weeks time, I will discuss with him if I need to try a different medication, or maybe start some individual therapy / counselling. I have recently had some "couple counselling" along with my husband.

Finding the correct medication and dosage is a very personal thing, but modern anti-depressants are a long way removed from the old style which did have lots of side effects.

Good luck!

Lis

lisawise · 09-10-2002, 01:57 PM

Thanks all for the info. This is all pretty new for me. I just don't know what to do -- wait another week until I see my therapist and talk to her about setting up an appt. with a MD to get meds or calling my primary care doc and talking to her. The problem with that is in order to get an appt. I have to tell the the nasty woman who answers the phone WHY I need to see the doctor. "I just need to see her to talk about a medical problem," is not good enough. They want details. What exactly do I say? "I can't function in life anymore and I need prozac" or "My therapist wants me on depression medication" Any suggestions?

hunterli · 09-10-2002, 02:03 PM

Tell her to mind her own business, that you will only discuss your medical concerns face-to-face with a qualified doctor.

WHat a cheek!! Whatever happened to patient confidentiality?

Or just plain LIE, say anything you like just to get an appointment.

Lis

taah · 09-11-2002, 08:27 AM

well right now.. zoloft for me has been the main med that has worked for my depression and anxiety... before that i was in a very bad state... I can honestly say... I do not have any really bad side effects from zoloft ... the only thing I have noticed and that I do not like and the reason I want to try to find a way to come off meds is that I feel like I am in a mental fog of some sort... I can tell a difference in my mental capacity from when I was off meds and from being on meds.... I was in college before I was on meds... I took off from school because of my depression and while I was off I got on meds ,, I have now went back to school and I can tell a big difference in the way my mind registers things.. I was telling my husband this just the other nite that I wanted to come off my meds because I don't like the way its affecting my thinking process.. but he says its a trade off because my depression and anxiety was so bad I was unable to leave the house and was comtemplating suicide.... so I guess its just up to you what you are willing to deal with....

Now with the wellbuturin... I can only take 100mg because more than that sends me into rages of anger and outbursts... plus It has different effects on me than most people ,,, its supposed to get people going,, like give them boosts... well it makes me sluggish.... I don't like that

tompamax... don't have any complaints as of yet..

hope that helps...

As for the call to the doc office,,, just tell the woman that you need to make an appointment for a general checkup... that should cover it all....

TERRA

EmmaE · 09-11-2002, 11:41 AM

I'm also on fluoxetine (Prozac). I did try amitryptiline but it turned me into a complete zombie.

Everyone reacts differently to anti-depressants - be prepared for it to take a while to find the right dose.

They don't have to be long term but they can give you the 'kick-start' you need to really start geting better.

As for getting to see your doctor - don't put it off. If you have to tell the recepionist a reason - make one up!

On the other hand - remember that depression is a physical illness that just has mental symptoms. One in three people are thought to suffer from depression at some time in their lives. Depression is just another common illness - the receptionist will have heard much worse in the past.

Emma

RhondaF · 09-11-2002, 02:39 PM

I was on Zolof for 2 months and gained 17 lbs. I also lost what little interest I had in sex, to the point of being repulsed by it. Also my hair got very dry and brittle and broke off.

I've been off of it for 2 months now and feel better without it. I still struggle with depression, so I still see a therapist. I'm interested in sex again. However, the weight won't come off. I worked very hard to lose 43# and it kills me to have gained so much back. I've had to go out and buy new clothes, because my "fat" pants don't even fit now.

My Dr. suggested Welbutrine. She said that most people loose weight on it, but I can't take it because it reacts with my epilepsy.

Good luck. Talk with your Dr. about your conserns and possible side effects.

Rhonda

lisawise · 09-11-2002, 06:48 PM

Thanks for the info, especially Rhonda. My husband has epilepsy, which is likely the cause of his depression. Well, the epilepsy itself isn't the cause, it's the problems it has brought to his life with work, school, his ability to drive, etc., that has brought on the depression. Our Therapist suggested meds for him as well. I'm sure his neurologist knows better, but I'll keep in mind what you said about Wellbutrin.

lisawise · 09-12-2002, 04:08 PM

I haven't called my doc yet, I think I'm just going to wait a week until I see my therapist and we'll take it from there. I'm feeling a lot better right now. Just talking to someone and "unloading" the thoughts that were weighing me down has helped me so much. I feel freer, lighter, clearer-headed.

Unfortunately, my DH has had a full-blown, anxiety attack this morning. He has juvenile diabetes, in addition to the epilepsy, and all of the stress is making him sick. His sugar was dangerously low and he nearly fainted this a.m. He was so overwhelmed. There was no way he could go to work. How could he? He could barely function.

His next therapy appt. isn't for two more weeks. He can't wait that long, so he called the employee assistance hotline (we get 6 free sessions, no questions asked, no insurance involved) and was prepared to tell them it was an emergency and he had to see someone that day. Well, when you push the "crisis" choice on the voicemail, and the intake person told him to hang up and dial another number. Guess what? That number is a recording that tells you to hang up and dial the first number. At that point, my DH just dropped the phone.

I then got on the line and actually reached someone, who at first told me it would be impossible to see someone. "What's the point of having crisis counselors, if they're not available in a true crisis?" I asked. The lame intake operator then suggested that I take DH to the emergency room. Now what are they going to do? He was not suicidal. Was not a danger to himself or others. The emergency room docs would do nothing except send him home and tell him to get some rest. Also, since he just "felt bad" and wasn't in any physical harm, he would not be a priority at an emergency room and would likely have to wait for hours to be seen.

I asked to speak with a supervisor and told her about the phone number problem and I told her that I didn't think that was a reponsible way to treat a person in crisis. (can you imagine if he was suicidal? Honestly, I'm so upset about that. This borders on malpractice, if you ask me.) Thankfully, the supervisor was embarrassed enough and managed to get him an appt. today, though not with his regular therapist, but someone else in the office.

I just talked to him about an hour ago and he sounds better. Tells me he left with smile on his face. This is so hard. I know he feels better now, but I do think he is going to need meds. It is hard to see someone you love suffer so much. He is trying so hard to do right by me and repair the damage he has caused in our relationship. He's also under a lot of pressure at work and he just went back to school. He's under a lot of pressure and is so afraid that I'll leave him or that I won't love him anymore. That's part of the reason all of the problems in our marriage began. He was under a lot of stress, likely depressed, and was afraid to come to me because he worried that I wouldn't accept him or love him.

This is so hard. I told him I loved him and that I was proud of him for sharing his feelings with me and having the courage and strength to say, "I need help." I don't know what else I can do.

help · 09-14-2002, 07:49 PM

I was on Zoloft for about a year and a half. He kept increasing my dosage. Finally, when none of it seemed to work right (and he put me on 200 mg which I couldn't take b/c of the headaches) I just weened myself off of it. It's been about two months since I went off of it. Couldn't tell it helped, and can't tell it's any better now that I'm off of it. I need to schedule a dr's appt to talk to him about it.

NYbird · 09-26-2002, 09:33 AM

Hi Lisa,

I see that this thread has been quiet, but I wanted to add to the list of meds that are available. I've taken Celexa, and I've found it to be amazing. I've only stopped because my dh and I are ttc, and admittedly, I do miss it. I've taken prozac before but changed b/c when I was on it, I felt totally out of it, had weight gain and a lowered sex drive. But celexa was incredible... I found it very mild and it had a profound impact on how I felt day to day. A lot of my friends take it as well, and it's really helped them.

I hope that things are improving for you and your dh. Have you found a therapist? It can really be a great thing, in conjunction with meds.

Good luck,
jen

lisawise · 09-26-2002, 12:35 PM

I had my last appt. with my "free" therapist last week. A company benefit is 5 free sessions a year with a therapist, no questions asked, no names given, no insurance involved. She is not on my insurance list, so I see a new person on Tues. It won't be too bad. She's in the same office as my prior therapist and the two have talked already, so I won't have to "start over" too much. I still need to find an M.D. for meds. Having a tough time with that. I may be waiting 2 months. That's useless. I need to get through the next couple of weeks.

Husband is doing great and better than me. He loves therapy. Looks forward to it. Is getting his life in gear. Good for him. I wish I wasn't still falling apart.