Rant ....:(

bkaur26 · 07-13-2006, 07:57 PM

I jsut went for my laser hair removal treatment yesterday (my first one ) and I was really hoping that this doc would give me a break, but he charged me $450. I still got the treatment done because there's onlyl one month left until i leave for my sister's wedding and i want to get at least a couple of treatments in before then. i'm not hopeful at all about this laser stuff workign for me. i've jsut become so negative about everything. i was quite satisfied with the treatment taht i got from laser doc. he did do a good job though.. i just don't know, i feel so horrible. It almost as though i feel guilty for spending so much money on my face. but its not just my face, this is somethign that effects every second of my life and has affected it for the past 10 years. ugh i hate my life. i'm a finance major and i so want to go to law school, but i just feel that there's no point in me even applying because i will never get in. i feel like a total failure. when i applied to my undergrad college, people with lower class ranks than me got full scholarships to college and here i am paying my way through college and going through another tuition hike. then there's my irregular periods and my horrible hirsutism. ugh.
sometimes i just sit and dream about how wonderful life would have been pcos didn't exist. oh god! why did i have to go through this?
i am so not looking forward to my sister's wedding, i love her so much and i wish i could share her excitement but i just hate dealing with nasty relatives that just stare at my face when i have no makeup on and try to give me their crappy advice on how to clear up my face from hair and acne. and then my lousy cousins that take every opportunity to remind how beautiful they are and how ugly i am.

i never did anythign in my life to deserve this

. i just wish i could be normal like other girls

. it just upset me so much yesterday that i had to spend my full weeks' paycheck on my face

i was planning on spending my money from my summer internship on so many other things.
can anyone just tell me if i shoudl feel guilty about this?
i really want to know what to expect from getting laser hair removal...
please help....
thanks... at least when i'm really down i can come here and rant about this horrible monster ruining my life. i think i'm goign to get a t-shirt that says, "PCOS ruined my life"
oh God i so wish it doesn't come to that....

artistic1 · 07-13-2006, 08:04 PM

I know how you feel; it's really hard some days

however, laser is a good idea; i had electroloysis and I haven't had any hair come back on my face / just reg. blonde peach fuzz and i'm now gettnig that removed... so things will get better; it's expensive; but worth it in the long run... and think I pay in Canada (132 dollars PER HOUR) for electroloyis (it's apparently more permanent than laser) but it is a very slow process and expensive; but your mental and physical well being makes it worth every penny!

bkaur26 · 07-13-2006, 08:35 PM

thanks erin... sometimes i just feel so crappy that everything bad that has ever happened to me clogs my mind and i feel like i'm going to explode...

miss_heether · 07-14-2006, 12:12 AM

I think it is a great thing that you are doing the laser treatment for yourself, in spite of the cost. I know, from personal experience, that how one feels about her body affects everything else in life. Sounds to me like you're working on making yourself feel better. I can't offer any expectations about the treatment, since I've not had it done, but I can offer you a cheer of encouragement.

The family aspect of your situation sounds difficult; I can relate to that, too. Both my sisters-in-law are rails, and so are both of my cousins. My stomach churns and churns with the idea of visiting anyone. All I can do is wish you strength and let you know that you're not alone...I've been there (still am there), too.

jlucy · 07-14-2006, 01:43 AM

I agree it's a good idea you are getting laser regardless of the cost. I had my tummy and bikini done and am going to do my arms. I used to be so self conscious about being too hairy in those areas and now I'm not and I am happy I spent all that money that I did. Are you taking spiro or something similar? The people at the laser place told me that is what will keep the hair from coming back as much once you laser it. I guess it stops new hair from growing.

bkaur26 · 07-14-2006, 05:06 PM

thanks everyone for reply, its just that i feel so weird inside

.... i don't knwo if its guilt or what,.....