re: feeling the holiday blues

sunnier · 12-25-2005, 06:37 AM

feeling kind of down these holidays, even though i have DH and DD.long story short, i have a SIS and BRO who both live at the most 1 hour away from us, when was the last time i saw them?? 6 weeks ago, we have never been close but i thought once we had kids than maybe the kids would make us closer. i have always been running after them and making the effort but very rarerly do they reciprocate. Both are busy with their own INLAWS and friends.

Now that the holidays are here we both have 10 days off i find myself getting somewhat depressed. DH and I have tried so many times but now we dont want to come off as desperate.

So my question or advice is how can be a happy person and come to the peace that i cant change their behaviors or make them want to be close to us. What hurts most is my brother's daughter is 4 and she is close to SIS's twin daughters who are 9 meanwhile my DD is only 2 so they are closer in age.

we used to be close to my brother and his wife when they lived closer to us, and that bothered my sister and now that they are closer to her, she is all happy.

i have told my brother how i have felt so many times in the past apparently it hasnt made an impact on his or his wife. his wife says "oh i hope the kids can grow up close together" but where is the ACTION PART???

anyways sorry for the long rant, and forgive me for dumping all this on you cysters i am sure you have bigger problems of your own.

just having a down day

killfxx · 12-29-2005, 07:41 PM

No prob that what we sisters are here for. I have not seen my brothers or neice and nephew since last christmas and just when I think I really miss them I see them and they piss me off.

sunnier · 12-29-2005, 08:41 PM

well at least i got one response

and its nice to know i am not alone, it feels like everyonelse's family is all lovey dovey except for mine.

hope things look up for you as well down the road. you seem to have accepted thats the way they are, so thats good.

take care
amberin

sunnier · 12-29-2005, 08:43 PM

awww i just noticed you lost your mom too. my mom died 16yrs ago, almost half my life she is gone but it still feels like yesterday when i think about her.

she will always remain in my heart.

Bumblebee Ma · 12-30-2005, 12:21 AM

Amber --
I just saw your thread!!! I know how you feel and my brother only lives 2 miles from me!!! You are such a GREAT parent!!! I hope that your sibs come to their senses soon!!
Chin up my friend!
Stephanie

nicole47 · 12-30-2005, 12:48 AM

Maybe you could try being pushier (not desperate, just super organizational) and force them to come up with a date with you that you all can make it and drive to see them then, but don't take no for an answer. Maybe even set up something regular. Of course, 6 weeks doesn't seem like a long time to me. My sister lives in the middle of the country and I see her about once a year, occasionally 2x.

Rosie1028 · 12-30-2005, 05:24 AM

I struggle so much with the holidays. YOu are not alone. I think it is harder when you have kids because you want everything perfect for them.

I don't really have family. My mother is strung out on drugs and lives in some travel trailer in Arizonia. My dad doesn't drink anymore, but he is still a big jerk. My parents have really never been available. The memories that I do have of the holidays when I was a kid were not pleasant. I dont' want to expose my kids to that. Anyway, something that has helped me is to realize that "my" family is my DH and my children. I try to concentrate on creating our own traditions. I did go and cry in my bedroom closet this year though.
I sometimes find myself irriated with people that complain because they have so much family and so much to do.

It will get better!