Ten years. That's how long it's been since I gained weight, starting losing my hair, have had horrible mood swings, and irregular cycles.
My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for about four years now.
Three weeks ago I decided it was time to figure out why I hadn't been getting my periods and why I haven't been able to get pregnant. I made an appointment and saw the nurse practitioner at my Ob/Gyn office. She ordered blood work and an internal ultrasound. All of these tests have been ordered by previous doctors I have been to and they all said nothing was wrong, many accusing me of faking symptoms or thinking I was imagining them.
The tests came back and I went in for my follow up yesterday, expecting her to tell me the same things all of my previous doctors had said. She didn't. I was diagnosed with PCOS on February 20, 2007. She immediately started me on Metformin and encouraged me to continue with the diet I had started the previous month.
PCOS? What on earth is that? I worked in a doctor's office for quite some time and have never heard of such a thing. I did a lot of research last night and came upon this site. I've learned a lot about this condition in just a few hours.
On one hand, I am quite relieved to finally know what is wrong with me after ten long years. On the other hand, I'm feeling very alone. Even though I have learned that many women have this and are probably going through the very same things I am, I still feel very alone. I don't have friends to confide in and my family is barely sane enough to understand. My husband tries too hard. He sees all the positive in knowing but nothing of how I feel and insists I do not, or should not, feel that way.
I shall be reminded of this condition every day. From the hair in my brush and tub drain, to the pills in my pill box, to the lack of traditional Italian family recipes in my new diet plan. Everything I thought I knew about myself has changed. Then my concerns shift to my sister. What if she has it, too? Oh my God, what if I do eventually get pregnant and have a daughter and she has to go through this.
I'm just feeling extremely overwhelmed and I need to know someone understands. I need to know someone else felt this way when they were diagnosed. I need to know that I'm not alone...
I know how you feel! I am going through the same feelings right now. (I can't remember ever crying as much as I have in the last three days). Although my DH is trying to be supportive (he is also going low-carb with me), I know he is mystified as to why I am so depressed. I, too, love Italian food, and fruit and bread and cakes and cookies and pie and AAAAAAH! Just the diet alone is hard, but coupled with all of the other things, it's enough to make you scream!
I know that I, that WE, will get through this, but right now I really just want to curl up in a ball in bed and cry and sleep and hope that I'll wake up and it's all just been a bad dream. Ugh.
I was so scared when I first got diagnosed, I went through the same type of rollercoaster. I was relieved to finally know why I was so messed up, but then I had never heard of it and neither had any of my family. My husband is also the positive one and it felt like he was not understanding the depth of what I am/was going through. And I still don't know that he does. But this board has helped me a lot with not feeling alone.
Lailaria -- You've definitely come to the right place! I was diagnosed (officially) in January although after doing online research I kind of self diagnosed myself and as it turns out, I was right on the money.
I found it very overwhelming to have it confirmed that there was officially something wrong with me, although I knew something was wrong for YEARS. For years I lived with the horrible side effects of this disorder IN SECRET. I'm single, so I don't have a DH to lean on. My mom is gone. So while I have a ton of friends, none of them really understand what it is I'm going through. So I avoided dealing with this and avoided doctors like the plague. I finally got up the courage to do something about it, and I just want to share this with you....
It is beyond empowering to face your fear and go through it. Having this disorder sucks, no question. However, for the first time in my life I am taking control of my body instead of letting it control me, and that feels really good! The only thing you can control in this life is your reaction to things, and you can make a choice to look at this positively. Through medication and lifestyle changes, you can get this disorder in control. The lifestyle changes might be difficult, but THEY ARE GOOD FOR YOU REGARDLESS! Instead of looking at this as a bad thing, I find myself grateful for the kick in the a$$ I needed to get myself healthy. Exercise now to me is another medication I have to take, and it makes me feel GOOD. Eating healthy feels good. I feel better, and I've only been on meds for not even 3 weeks! (also, already lost 6 lbs). As far as your sister or a future daughter -- think about how lucky they are that if they get this disorder, they will have the benefit of your experience & in the case of a future daughter w/PCOS, it can be caught VERY early on and controlled because you would recognize the signs as soon as they started!
I guess at the end of the day, this whole process has been a completely empowering experience for me, because that is how I choose to react to it. For years I suffered in dealing (or not dealing) with my body being out of control. Fear, avoidance.. these are all very negative emotions. Now that I'm aware of what's going on, I feel excitement at the possibility of finally being able to lose weight when I diet & exercise, happiness at the thought that the hair issue will finally get under control, delighted that I found out about this before I developed serious disease. These are all positive emotions, which is nice for a change. LOL. Instead of feeling like a victim (which is so easy to do) I choose to become as educated about PCOS as I can. The more I read up on everything, the more convinced I am that I can get myself to a place where I will be able to come off the meds and control this holistically (God willing!). I have a goal and that is to get off the meds as quickly as possible - because I don't want to have to take medication. It's a journey, for sure, but it doesn't have to define who you are. It can make you a better version of yourself.
From the challenges come the gifts.
And for those moments when you are feeling alone, this place has helped me tremendously. It's a community in every sense of the word. I've come here to ask questions, to seek answers and when I needed to know that there were others out there who understood what I was going through. The women on here have been so generous with their knowledge, concern and kindness. I'm grateful.
Welcome to the community! We are totally here for you. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!! And you can do this, we all can.
- Meta888
__________________ Diagnosed: 1/07 2000mg Met / 100mg Spiro (started Met 2/3/07) Weight loss to date: 26 lbs. Zone Diet, Exercise, Omega 3 Fish Oil, Multivitamins, Calcium supplement, B Complex, positive attitude. "From The Challenges Come The Gifts"
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Thank you all for the warm welcomes and kind words. I have been reading about PCOS all day and also a lot of what all of you have gone through. I'm feeling much better about all of this. It is extremely helpful knowing many of you have felt the same way.
I'm currently out of contact with my sister but I'm meeting our brother this weekend and he will give her some information for me. I can only hope that she will take it seriously. She is the baby of the family and somewhat rebellious.
My husband is still trying to push the positive down my throat. I appreciate his trying to do so but it's really not helping much. I know that I am lucky to finally know what is wrong with me and start treatment. I guess I had always hoped it would be something small that would go away eventually. I knew better but I hoped.
I've just been thinking about my past doctor visits. The last time I saw my family physician I had told him that I was having trouble losing weight and asked for help. His response was that if I was eating and exercising "correctly" I should be losing weight - so I was doing something wrong. He didn't ask what kind of diet, what kind of exercise, what kind of trouble I was having, nothing. It was my fault for not doing it "correctly." I will have to find a new family physician now so that they can do regular tests to see if the metformin is helping. I guess that will be my task for the rest of the week.
Thank you all again for the wonderful welcomes. I'm so glad I stumbled upon this site.
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Welcome and you are truly not alone. I have also been ttc for almost 4 years and I know what a toll that can take on you. My husband sounds a lot like your always trying to be positive sometimes to the point I want to puke, even though I know he is just trying to help. The important thing is now maybe you can begin the journey of controlling this terrible syndrome and even though it seems like it now things will get easier and better, especially when you have a great support group of wonderful women like I have been so lucky to have found here, gl to you
Lailaria,
I just wanted to send you a cyber-hug and tell you you are not alone. My husband and I tried for 11 years to get pregnant. We found out in 1996 that I had PCOS, but I didn't even believe it until I found out more about it on the internet in 1998. We finally got our miracle baby, without much intervention (just met, clomid and progesterone) on March 17, 2006. I have a blog where I've chronicled everything since we started the met/clomid cycle that got us pg. The entry that really explains my journey is at: http://angelamott.blogspot.com/2005/...ackground.html
To me the most amazing thing was when I learned that all the cysts on my ovaries would reabsorb! No one had ever told me that, I hadn't ever read it anywhere! But they did!
Also I had tried atkins dieting off and on for a few years off TTC. I could never stick with it more than a few months though. Since this past Thanksgiving I went on a no-wheat and no-casein diet, and not only did it help me with acid reflux and pain that I was having, but I also ovulated on my own for the first time ever! I've been bad and not sticking with it during February and it shows. I don't think I'll O this cycle. Just an idea though. I'm going back to eating no wheat or dairy this week and we'll see if I O the next cycle.
Anyway, stay strong. You do know what you're fighting now and that really makes a huge difference. It still hurts, but there is light at the end of the tunnel now.
Not being alone is what this site is all about! Welcome, and get ready for some serious "I get you" vibes!
I was dx'd at age 14, and was given the fabulous L treatment. L standing for lecture, in which the endo said I was just "fat" (exact quote) and if I just tried not to be such a fat lazy kid PCOs would go away. Back then (1994), metformin was in its early days as a pcos treatment, and the internet was fairly new. I was told that I should go on a low fat diet (oops didn't work, because it was....high carb) and prepare to never have children and die of diabetes.
When i decided to become a scientist, I also decided never to listen to anyone's statements without evaluating the evidence. Fortunately, since 1994 alot of evidence has been produced about PCOS. And overall, it is hopeful news. People get preg, have babies, live long lives.
I have come to a place where I accept that bread, pasta, rice, and potatoes will not play the role in my diet that they did in my family's home. I know I will eat these foods in my life, but they will not be on my regular cycle of meals. This has taken a long time, and many years of learning about nutrition and how to be a real cook (who can look at a pile of foods and think of something tasty to make). Now I know that vegetables will be the mainstay of the rest of my life. I love them, and we do not have an abusive relationship like I did with bread and pasta (who I loved dearly, but they tried to do me in).
OK this has been a long and rambling post, but pls know you are not alone and we will help in anyway we can! Recipes, kleenex, or a soft shoulder are all yours.
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PCOS, Male Factor Infertility, and One Tube Wonder! Surprise BFP 10/6/05, Placenta Previa 11/05 Incompetent Cervix and Pre-term Labor 3/13/06 DD born 5/06
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I just wanted to reply again because, after reading my first two posts, I kind of made my husband out to be very insensitvie and, believe me, he is far from it. He's had to deal with all of my symptoms even before we knew I had PCOS. He has always at least tried to be understanding, even if I didn't quite understand myself sometimes.
The day I was diagnosed, I called him immediately after I had left the Ob/Gyn office. He researched it from work, even before I got home and could look it up myself. I am so lucky to have him. He tells me every day that he loves me - no matter what. He tries so hard to make me feel beautiful, no matter how much it never works!
I hope that I didn't make him out to be a bad guy, because he is far from it. He tries so hard to understand and I appreciate and love him so much more for trying.
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Recently Diagnosed - Feeling very lonely... 
Lailaria you're not alone! 
Ugh.
Not Alone! 
