Relationships & PCOS

michellezearing · 01-23-2009, 03:40 PM

I was dx with PCOS on January 15th although I've always had a feeling that was my problem, I didn't have health insurance for 2 years because I got a bunch of temp jobs and My husband didn't renew my insurance it's a long story. But basically they started me on Ocella (generic Yasmin), My husband and I want to have a baby but right now isn't the time.

Speaking of my husband I have a question regarding marriages and PCOS. I told my husband from the very first time we got together and were dating that there was a possibility that because of my lack of a period I couldn't have children. He seemed okay with it when we were dating, We got married everything was going along swimmingly. He's still very supportive and comes with me to my appointments when his job allows. However when we talk about having children he's so POSTIVE that I find it slightly annoying. I don't think he's actually looking at the Reality of the situation. I mean I know there are things I can do to get pregnant, pills, natural stuff. But I don't know how much I can afford and stuff. Maybe I'm just being overly negative but I don't know. I don't want him to get his hopes up and than have him end up leaving me because of all the stuff he won't be able to do. Namely have children. I don't want to hold him back.

anyone with any advice, HELP ME!

Susplum · 01-23-2009, 05:35 PM

My Dh was a bit like that too at first. We have been TTC for 3 years and despite years of gynae problems the GP insisted his fertility was tested first because I already had a baby 10 years ago and he is 7 years younger than me.

When the results came back his sperm, whilst viable, is a little confused and a little lacking in quantity. Top that off with their odd shape and it means between the pair of us, assuming I am actually ovulating, conception will be incredibly difficult.

Now my DH has always been supportive and understanding, but this has knocked his confidence and he is no longer quite so positive about us conceiving. And I miss it.

Anyhoo ... long story short I would rather have him being positive and driving me batty than both of us feeling down and depressed if that makes sense.

Good luck to you both

smcwhorter901 · 01-23-2009, 05:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Susplum

Anyhoo ... long story short I would rather have him being positive and driving me batty than both of us feeling down and depressed if that makes sense.

Good luck to you both

Ditto!

It's easy to feel inadequate or that you are going to let DH down if you somehow don't concieve, but you will cross that bridge when you get there... and trust me, it will be years down the line. It takes some women many years to concieve, but it is still quite possible... I could be wrong, but I don't think this is about your DH... I think it's about you... I know how you feel, but a little faith goes a long way... Grab onto some of DH's energy... it may be just what you need!

SGirl81 · 01-24-2009, 02:10 AM

I agree with smcwhorter901. I think that this might be subconsciously about how you feel more than about him. Hes got the right attitude and maybe you just need to gain some more confidence about your own fertility. I know its hard but I always try to remember that many women with PCOS conceive everyday!!!

I also was afraid that if I couldn't have children my husband would leave me. My husband to this day swears he does not care if we have kids or not and that having me is all that matters. Maybe you could tell your husband your fears and let him know you need him to reassure you often because he means alot to you and you never want to lose him.

SunnyInSeattle1 · 01-24-2009, 04:02 AM

3 dittoes..... I am still a newlywed. got married on 12/21/07. I have a host of m/c's. I didnt want to go thru it again till I met my hubs. Right before we got married , he sat me down and told me that his sperm count was off....WHAT.... I knew he had issues with his 1st wife. I didnt knock him for telling me. I was rather sad for a few moments...needless to say. We got married and he loves the me to pieces. He understands PCOS and realizes it will be a struggle for us to have babies.

Dont take his joy away... you might not get it back. My hubs wants kids, but is still hurt by 1st wife m/c. We are going to revisit the idea in about 11 months.

Good luck

AmberRN86 · 01-24-2009, 06:21 AM

I am sorry to hear that you are going through such a rough time and I know how you feel. DH is 6 years older than me and we have been married for 3 years now. He is starting to want a family... and wants to talk about silly things like what we are going to name our future children. It makes me cry because I think that it is all a dream that will never happen for us.

michellezearing · 01-25-2009, 12:41 AM

It makes me sad when he's so optmistic about it but I guess I need to have the right attitude myself.