Religion vs. infertility treatments

lemondog · 10-30-2002, 07:16 PM

I am a practicing Catholic, I love my faith and would never change it, but I am having a REALLY difficult time accepting the Catholic church's teachings on assisted reproductive technologies. Basically, I completely disagree with them, although I know it's out of my own totally selfish desire to become pregnant. We adopted once, both for emotional reasons and religious, but I am really feeling called to TTC. I asked God to give me a sign, and lo and behold, my DH all of sudden has excellent IF coverage thru his employer, which includes IVF. Due to his male factor problems, that is what we need. I feel like it was a sign from God, and yet I am concerned about defying my church's teachings. I am so torn. Any other Catholics dealt with this?

VitaBella · 10-30-2002, 09:11 PM

Although I haven't dealt with this specifically, I had a bit of a trauma when my gyno wanted to put me on BCP for the same reason - knowing that the church was against it.

I ended up talking to our priest and deciding that going on the BCP then was best for me, since it wasn't for the purpose of preventing a life anyway. (I guess this is pretty common, so my priest had probably heard a similar story before.)

That experience sort of taught me that religion is religion, but you have to make the best decision for you. If it comes down to it, we will do IUI and IVF...it's assisted reproduction, yes, but in my opinion, God wants us to procreate. If I need a little help to do so, it's up to me to decide what I'm comfortable with and when we'll quit TTC. I have never completely understood the church's disapproval of such technologies anyway...to me, a child conceived by any means is a child of God.

It's such a hard thing to reconcile within yourself...I hope you make a decision that makes you comfortable, and that some other people with more experience than I have are able to share their thoughts with you.

April_Bee · 11-02-2002, 04:41 AM

I haven't been in your exact situation before, but I hope I can help. I am a Baptist, not Catholic, but DH didn't feel comfortable with using meds/IUI/IVF to help us TTC. He felt that if God wanted to bless us with a baby, I would get pregnant no matter what. Since Sept. I have felt a strong calling from God to step out in faith---that he will take care of the rest. Now my DH's opinions are changing.

I guess what I'm trying to say is do what God lays on your heart to do. It is God that you will have to answer to in heaven one day---not anyone else. How will you explain why you didn't obey Him? And if you truly feel that going through IVF is God's will for your lives, would anyone else from the church have to know? I am not too familiar with Catholicism so I don't know how this would work out.

Good luck with your decision sweetie. I will be praying for you.

MaLee · 11-02-2002, 05:04 AM

I am a Catholic. but a pretty lasped one. I was always thought that God and the Church wanted a couple to be 'fruitful and multiply'. Why would they look down on any means to fulfills God's wish? I say go for it. That rule was created by a man - not God. Look at Lent for an example. When my Maw Maw was little - it was a sin to eat meat for the whole whole six weeks and you where supposed to fast every Friday. Now, they tell not eating meat is optinal and not a sin - even on Good Friday! So, who knows what rule they will make for AR in the future. I always believed it was God who gave man the knowledge in science to advance civilaztion. Best Wishes!

CLOHEHOPEWILLIS · 11-02-2002, 01:34 PM

I was never for Assisted Reproductive Technology...

but I know that, that is the only way that some woman can conceive and I thought for a minute that is what I would neeD!

I believe it totally up to the Individual~

Can take the easy route and get PG with Technology or just wait with Prayer and Patience....

I ....just waited and waited...and Prayed...and prayed..which wasnt easy...

First, we couldnt afford to move to the fnext step...this has been since 1999, in 2001 I was referred to an Specialist..from my OB for the second time...where.... I could afford it...but I still wanted to wait it out...and use my fertlity monitor (which I thought was pushing it) and just have my Metformin and that only...since I O without Meds!

I knew it was JUST a matter of timing....since I did have my periods regular (with the help of Metformin) and I O too...so TIMING that was my issue.....

Well, we moved to Alabama..this past May......and I had been on a 3month break...from May-August....

Dh's... Insurance has Great coverage on INF...and I thought...what the HAY.....Lets just go see...what the Dr. had to say....?

My first visit to a specialist...Reproductive Endo...which was the

A. R. T. Program of ALabama....

A.R.T= meaning...Assisted Reproductive Technology
(that should have been a red flag right there)

Lo and behold...he gave me a reassurance that, THAT DEFINETLY IS NOT WHAT WE WANTED TO DO!!!

(but DH was willing to at least try one cycle...since my period was on the way.....and he didnt want to see my in pain of not having a child anymore!)

This was September 11,

(my first cycle after my break started Aug,14th..)

& I was ...11DPO when I went for that Visit....

I cried and cried on the way home... because, I didnt want to do that....

I prayed and prayed that this Cycled worked and that I would not have to try what he recommended...because that was Totally not Natural and not what I wanted to do!

Well....I went back in for blood work Sept 16th...fasting blood work...and I told them to throw in a Beta...because I was 2 days late...with my Period...and

it came back ++++++++++! which was a total surprise and BLESSING!!

I prayed that this cycle would work..because if it didnt....... I know I would have allowed myself...try one of those CLomid cycles that he offered...and I was totally against....

I know that this is a Rare occasion...and for some, taking the next step is the only choice...but with

Prayer and Patience....I know..It will come...

It did for Hannah, Elizabeth,Rachel & Sarah and myself!

I dont believe that GOD is okay with this....It is taking it out of his hands and into the Dr's of HOW or WHEN you are going to Conceive...this is just my humble opinion....

Best wishes

CLOHEHOPEWILLIS

Juana Baby · 11-05-2002, 10:59 PM

My understanding of your post is whether you should decide to have ART even if your religion is against it, (is this right?) Well, I feel that if you have sincerely prayed about this and feel that you have received your answer by the way of your husbands insurance, that you should pray so more and then take a step of faith. I had three IUI's done, and succeeded on the third one, and m/c. I prayed and prayed and did herbs and succeeded, and then m/c.

A book that helped me to understand a lot of this is called "When Empty Arms Become Heavy Burdens". It is a Christian book and might help you.

So, maybe the reason I went ahead with IUI's is because I can be a witness to others. And maybe I was just being selfish. But let me tell you that if I have the chance to do another IUI, I will.

Hope this helps.

laural