reluctant husband

Emantha · 09-12-2004, 06:56 AM

My husband seems to be reluctant to come to soul cysters.... he is a very understanding man, who is supportive of my problems, but i would really like for him to know he is not alone, that there are other men out there living with PCOS-witches like me....
if anyone is interested in talking to him, please contact me, and i will give you his contact info.
I just want him to have someplace to read, and rant, and know someone is listening.... basiclly, the same reasons i joined SC myself

shorty1kanobi · 09-13-2004, 03:58 PM

My husband has not wanted to come to soul cysters either. He really doesn't enjoy being on the internet and spends so much time on the computer at work that the last thing he wants to do is spend more time on the computer in his free time.

At first I was disappointed. Then I realized, he still takes a very active role in my PCOS. He went with me for my first vaginal ultrasound (I was scared to DEATH) that would ultimately lead to my diagnosis, and he has been there to listen to and encourage me.

When he was diagnosed with diabetes at age 27, I dug up every article I could, asked his dr's questions, did everything I could to find as much information as possible because THAT was the one way I saw that I could help. SO when he didn't do the same thing when I got diagnosed and didn't want to read all the articles, I was upset. Then I remembered something. He's not like me. He isn't comfortable reading medical articles and challenging the status quo.

Still, he's great at listening and when I tell him "Hey, I just read..." or can summarize the 10 page article full of mumbo jumbo into something that he can hear quickly and understand, he takes an active interest, wants to know more and wants to help.

Research and talking with others about it to get more info is my strong suit, where his is support, encouragement, and a warm hug. Now that I've realized that, I'll take that over him coming here any day.

I TOTALLY understand you wanting him to get from this site the same things you have. That said, it may just be that he doesn't feel he needs that.

One other thing that helped (and bless her heart, I didn't even have to ask her to do it) was when a friend of mine with pcos came over. It was right after I got diagnosed and she was the one that told me what to ask the dr. for so I would get diagnosed finally. She was talking with DH and I and just started talking about what it was like for her. To hear her say some of the same things I'd been saying not only reinforced for DH that I wasn't the only one, but he saw it from someone else's perspective. It was great.