i would like your opinions about name changes in regards to adoption. Should you never change the first name? is it ok to turn the first name into the second, and give a new first name? how old is too old to change a babys name?
I thought i would never even think about changing a childs first name, now im not sure. i really value everyones opinion, and would like to hear what your thoughts are on this subject. has anyone read any articles on the subject, or had any personal experience with this?
This is a very personal subject and I think its up to the adoptive parents to consider all the factors before making this decision...
We changed our sons name fully...and have never looked back...
We didnt feel doing this made him any less Ukrainian it was just something we really agreed on doing ... and believe me once we found out his name we really hummed and hah'd but in the end went with what we originally planned..
His birth name is something we will tell him when he is older and ready to hear about his birthparents info as well....
p.s we are also telling him about being adopted .. we don't want him to feel its something to be ashamed of but something that happens everywhere in everyday life
__________________
Amy (34) To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. DH (36)
DS (7) To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. DD (3)
Oct 09 - Femara 5mgs Days 3-7 BFN
Nov 09 - Femara 5mgs Days 3-7 BFN
Dec 09 - Femara 5 mgs Days 3-7
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
We have a foster/adopt baby. We have had her for 8 months and the possibility of her staying with us forever is good. From the beginning we called her by her given name, which we did not like. I also, had a name picked out for her for when or if she gets to stay. Well, since then we have started calling her by the English version of her name which we like better. The bparents do not care. Now that she is almost a year I do not think that I will change it and we do like her middle name so I will just have to hope that we get a chance at another baby girl so that I can use the name that I picked out!
Last week, my DH and I went to an orientation and we actually asked about this. The social worker said that it is definitely a personal decision. Most bm's would like to have the adoptive family keep something somewhere... but it isn't a must. And the SW, even said that she has had older children ask to have their entire name changed to have a fresh start.
Personally, I would say go with your heart. And if you had that special name picked out... then use it!
__________________ Stephanie
30 years old/ DH 27 -- Married 12/16/2000
Dx PCOS 09/2000 - Janumet 50/50
And 3 sons thru the MIRACLE of Adoption
Austin (7), Andrew (8), Anthony (9)
With international adoption, it's not always a given that the name your child has is the name his or her birthmom picked out. Sometimes it's a lawyer that names the baby, or the orphanage staff. DH had I have chosen a name for our son (Samuel Aaron), BUT we plan to ask at our meeting with the adoption officials where his original name came from. If his birthmother chose the name for him, we will probably keep it as a second middle name. If it was given by a lawyer or orphanage staff, then we will probably just use the name we have chosen and tell him his original name when he is old enough to understand.
We requested a child age 0-18 months. At first I thought 18 months might be too old to try changing his name, but then I was reminded.. he's going to have no idea what ANYTHING we're saying means, what little he speaks will be SPANISH! With that in mind we will try to make a slow transition to calling him Sam (I wanted to call him Samuel, but my lazy DH says it's too long ). We'll start by calling him his original name with Sam tacked on at the end. (Juan Sam for example) It may sound weird, but we've been told it will help him start to draw the connection that when we say Sam, we mean him. As he begins to recognize it, we will phase out the old name and just call him Sam
As others have stated, it's a very personal decision.
-Brandy
__________________
Brandy(33) DH Dan(33)
DS Samuel Sebastian(6) - Adopted from Colombia
DD Isabelle Caiyi(5) - Adopted from China
RNY Gastric Bypass surgery 1/30/2009
Highest/Surgery/Current/Goal:
306/301/199/165
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
I want to say too (sorry) that our sons Birthmom did *NOT* choose his name for him...she left the hospital the next day after signing the papers without giving him a name ... *if* she had given him a name we would have thought harder about keeping it...
the nite nurse named him !!!
Also .. renaming him at 15 months old (since he did know his name in Ukrainian) was not hard you just have to be really consistent and try and refrain from calling him "sweetie or honey" or anything like that .. it just adds to the confusion...
Brandy - depending on the age of child you adopt (if older) that they pick up the language in no time .. its really cool
HTH !
__________________
Amy (34) To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. DH (36)
DS (7) To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. DD (3)
Oct 09 - Femara 5mgs Days 3-7 BFN
Nov 09 - Femara 5mgs Days 3-7 BFN
Dec 09 - Femara 5 mgs Days 3-7
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
I personally did not change my daughters given name, she was just over one year old when she came to live with us. It seemed easier on her to keep the name she was used to since she had already been in two different homes and had two different set of "parents", I thought it would be easier for her. Thankfully she had a very pretty name, we did however change her middle name so I could name her after my mother who was very ill and now deceased. Hopefully the input helps a little
I think this is a very interesting thread. I actually had 3 names before my 1st birthday, LOL!
My birth mother named me Kristie Cassandra but that name was dropped when I was taken away. My foster parents called me "Jill," then when my adoptive parents got me I became Tamara. I was only five months old at the time so of course it made not difference to me. It was wonderful to find out what my birth name was later on, though.
If I were adopting an older child (12mos +) I think I'd let the child keep their name. By that time there can be some real emotional issues, even though they are still so young. Maybe keeping their name could help avoid identity issues in the future...just my .02.
Tamara
__________________ Mom to Owen b. 8/6/00 (conceived on Loestrin BCPs! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. )
Vivian b. 06/07/04 4:30pm 7lbs 2oz 20-1/2"
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
You need to do what is best for your family. In our situation we changed his name completely. We had a family name picked out for years.
The bm named him Jonathan because it meant a gift from God. Isn't that amazing. But I still had to go with my family name.
Our son came home at six days old. In his scrapbook I have everything in there about the adoption and I have the name she gave him as well.
__________________ Hugs,
Christine
M&M's Mom
Max, 8/10/02
Mia, 11/4/03
Christine To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Aaron
I think it's a personal choice as well. We picked out and named the first name (had always planned on the middle name being in one of my daughters names) so the BM requested her middle name and since I liked it, we kept it. I didn't change it. Sooo really I think it just depends on how you feel and what you want. I don't see anything wrong with changing the names. If it was a older child they may even want to change their names, I would have to discuss that with them, but as for a younger child, you do what you feel is best.
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
When my aunt adopted her son, she orginally had planned to change his name. However, her son was put up for adoption because his birth mother was dying of cancer (she past away a few weeks after his birth), and she received a note from the birth mom asking his adoptive parents to take care of him for her. Given that his birth mom gave up cancer treatment to have him, my aunt and uncle decided they would honor her by keeping the name she gave him. As my aunt said, besides life, it was the only gift his birth mother could give him. Thankfully for his new family, it was a name they actually liked anyway.
However, like everyone has said, I don't think there is a right or wrong answer to your question.
Originally posted by Calantha With international adoption, it's not always a given that the name your child has is the name his or her birthmom picked out. Sometimes it's a lawyer that names the baby, or the orphanage staff.
I agree totally!
We are giving Emily 2 middle names, the 2nd one being her Chinese name. It was given to her by the orphanage, however it means "very beautiful" and it is so fitting for her. We love it.
So, like everyone has said....it's definitely what the family wants that matters!
__________________
Happily married for 19 years & mommy to 3 beautiful daughters
~13 year old (born preemie @ 24 weeks), 5.5 year old & 3.5 year old (both born in China!)~
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
I think it's a personal choice. My bf and his sister were adopted from Korea and their adoption parents kept their names. His sister was adopted when she was a baby of a couple of months old and my bf when he was 4. Because they have a Korean first name, it's always the same conversation when ppl ask what their name is:
- Hi, what's your name?
- .. (they say their name)
- Er... what?
- ... (repeats)
- Sorry, I didn't catch that
- .. (repeats once more)
- O, ... (says the name as if he/she tastes the word)
- That's right
- I hope I will remember that
- Grmpff
Anyway, I once asked my bf if he would've liked if his parents had changed his name. He said he didn't, says his name is part of who he is.
I wanted to share as well that I agree that it's your decision to be made and what is best for your family and the new baby. I believe if the baby is under a year old it will not affect the child at all. Older children would make it hard to change the name. When we adopted our child, we have had him from day 1. The day he was born and we are the lucky ones we got to name him. His name is Jakob Samuel. So I wish you luck on this matter and let your heart lead the way.
request for opinions please 
but something that happens everywhere in everyday life
). We'll start by calling him his original name with Sam tacked on at the end. (Juan Sam for example) It may sound weird, but we've been told it will help him start to draw the connection that when we say Sam, we mean him. As he begins to recognize it, we will phase out the old name and just call him Sam 
Wanted to share 
