Requesting Access....? - Page 3

GothicCyster · 06-01-2006, 09:05 PM

oh i love ya love ya LOVE YA!!!!! thanks for posting those!!!!!!!!!!! i have them opening up in new windows as we SPEAK!!!

ur wife is so lucky!!!

my bf is pretty understanding it would just b nice if i didnt have to question whether or not he cares about any of this and God knows im not going to actually ASK him!!!! but it would b easier if he actually went and read something about it himself so i wouldnt have to say a word about it.

thanks again!!!!!

Fyn_Hubby · 06-01-2006, 09:43 PM

He is welcome to come and have a look here himself, you know?

There seem to be quite a few guys that just don't want to go to a "girly" website full of "girly problems" or whatever it is that keeps them away from here. But this is a really awesome site for finding out everything you want to know (and sometimes a little bit more)

about PCOS.

If he understands more fully what you're going through, he's more likely to not only understand, but also grow in his care for you, but also strengthen his support for you.

Like I mentioned in one of those threads that I linked you to, there's a chance that he just might be the kind of guy that is completely caught up in the world and the images that the media puts out there, and he might not want to "ruin his self-image". But if you've been with him long enough to have this strong of feelings for him, then you should have a pretty fair idea of how he's going to react. And you have to remember that you're looking at yourself as a defect, something that doesn't work right, doesn't look right, and whatever else. He's looking at you as the woman that he might very well want to spend the rest of his life with, the focus of his heart's love, and the companion that he wants to cherish.

If you can tell that he's a bit of a jerk at times, and likes to run other people down, then there's a chance he's going to be one of the punks that I was talking about there. If he does turn out to be one of those punks, then you don't want to be around that guy anyway. I know you've got feelings for him. I know you're worried about losing him. But if that's the kind of guy that he is, do you really want to be around a guy like that for the rest of your life? Do you want your kids to grow up looking up to a guy like that so that they can be that way when they get older too? No, I doubt it. This is a one of those times where this horrible curse of PCOS reveals itself as the true blessing that it has the potential to be. Sure it makes life suck at times, but it's also going to help you find out whether this guy is worthy of being with you, or if he's worth less than the dirt on your shoes.

But, if he's as loving and caring as you've already told us that he is, then most likely he's not going to care about these kinds of things. He'll look right past all the bad things that you're going through, and see the woman that he cares about.

I can't tell you exactly how he's going to react to it, because I just don't know the guy. All I know is what you've managed to post about so far, and I have to tell you my opinion based off of what I know about my gender.

I can tell you though, that if he is the kind of guy that would understand, but you keep putting him off, pushing him away, and not telling him what it is that's bothering you and what is going on, that may very well be the thing that drives him away. If he doesn't feel that you're going to let him get close to you, then he's not going to feel that he's welcomed. He won't feel the trust that is so key to a lasting relationship. He is going to need to know. The longer you put it off, the harder it's going to be to tell him. And the longer you put him off, the harder it's going to be to keep him.

If you need to hold back for a while before letting him know, that's alright. But don't just put it off because you're scared. Think about what the best way to talk to him about it would be, and then do it.

GothicCyster · 06-01-2006, 10:12 PM

sometimes i look at myself as a defect! omigosh u hit on so many truths...my bf is the GOOD kind u described. cos one time i told him, not too long ago, and he hugged me and said i didnt deserve to feel that way and i was telling him what was wrong w/ me and he told me it was ok, that he didnt see those things and asked if there was anything that could be done about my problems. its just that all the other symptoms are not as bad as the hirsutism. thats what i think i have the worst and what bothers me the worst too. but i have thought many times how i was lucky to find a guy like him cos b4, so many guys would try to take advantage of me and i was too afraid to be intimate w/ them so they'd break up w/ me bcuz of it. in retrospect i always felt it was the blessing u described otherwise i may have been hurt even worse if i had the confidence to have been w/ them. which even w/out pcos i may have been too shy & scared anyway. but thats the whole thing is that these guys were complete idiots and didnt care about me and couldnt have given me the support i needed to feel like i was worthy, w/ or w/out pcos. but my bf seems to be able to do that

i was w/ him when i was diagnosed. i got real sick and he took care of me, he was so worried n upset! he even cried. course, so was i!!! and then i had to go to the doctor and he babysat my nieces for me in the lobby while my mom took me up to the dr's office (he wanted to go to make sure i was ok but i had to babysit my nieces and they werent allowed in the dr's office so thats why he watched them in the lobby 4 me). so hes good to me and we've been together for quite some time.

well anyway ur advice is helpful!!!!!!

Amavin · 06-01-2006, 10:22 PM

will you marry me?
...damn taken, lol.

You're a great guy...please start a class and teach young boys all of your wisdom....ages 6-16 should be good....Lol.

My guy doesn't come here because he's sqeamish and everytime i tell him about the cysts in the ovaries and why it hurts so much he turns green and shivers, lol.

GothicCyster · 06-01-2006, 10:31 PM

HEY HEY HEY!!!

isnt he an amazing guy? lol i have one comparable i do believe

ok now with the pain, amavin, i was wondering...ive never been actually told i have CYSTS altho i have pcos and i know u dont have to have ALL symptoms. but i have PAIN like im being ripped apart sometimes! just horrible awful pain in my abdomen, sometimes it spreads to my legs and back. sometimes its there ALL the time. it just wont go away. like for weeks at a time. i was wondering, is this "normal?"
i need to start a new post on that but i know some people have horrendous pain and my bf doesnt get why it hurts all the time and i told him i have cysts and he's like "YOU SAID THE DOCTOR SAID U DONT HAVE TUMOURS!" and im like CYSTS! CYSTS NOT TUMOURS!!! thought he was gonna cry when i told him the pain is probably from cysts...hes like "will it hurt you? are they cancer?" grrrr....i tried explaining lol anyway i was just wonderin if the constant pain that lasts for weeks was fairly "normal" so that i can EXPLAIN to him that im not the only one.

Fyn_Hubby · 06-01-2006, 10:39 PM

GothicCyster - Glad I could help.

I really think he's going to be one of the good guys that will be able to handle all of the symptoms that you deal with. He sounds like a good guy to me. I don't think you need to worry about him running away if you tell him about all of the symptoms. The more he knows and understands, the easier it's going to be for him to accept it.

Amavin - Yep, I'm already taken. Sorry.

If I thought the boys would listen, I might give that some serious consideration. But, having been that age myself not too long ago, and being of the male gender myself, I know they wouldn't pay a shred of attention to me.

What are some of the things your guy does like to talk about? What are some of the things that don't make him squemish? He doesn't have to visit all of the boards on the site; he can stay away from the ones that will really get to him. Just his presence here alone I'm sure would seriously help in your support. There was a significant difference in how my wife felt in the first 10 minutes after she saw that I had joined, and we can both see the positive effect that it has had on her.

Also, it's easier sometimes to express your thoughts and feelings in writing here on the boards than it is in person, and it can really help the two of you to get to understand what the other is really feeling, and what they feel that they're going through.

Honestly, there's not a whole lot that I have learned about PCOS since I've been here. The primary reason for that is because my DW was diagnosed after we got married, and we've learned about it together. Whenever one of us finds something out about it, the other knows shortly thereafter. But, I have come to have a much deeper understanding of the effects that PCOS can have on you, and I've been able to become more understanding and more supportive (I believe) in just the 2 weeks that I've been here.

He's welcome to just sign on, let us know he's here, and then just hang out here in the Men/Relative's thread and talk about regular "guy stuff" with us here. Whatever he wants. But I'm sure both of you would be able to see and feel the benefits of having both of you here.

GothicCyster · 06-01-2006, 10:45 PM

now im curious lol. how old r u? and is LDS on your name tag Latter Day Saints? and how long have you guys been married???

Fyn_Hubby · 06-01-2006, 10:47 PM

GothicCyster - I'm not sure if any of these will help or not, but here are some links to other Cysters who have experienced various pains:
anyone else experience this:
ruptured cysts?
Help Me. Horrible Pain After Sex
Left side abdomen pain?????
back spasms ALL THE TIME

Fyn_Hubby · 06-01-2006, 10:49 PM

I'm 23 years old.
Yes, the LDS stands Latter-Day Saint.
And, we've been married for 2.5 years. August is our anniversary.

Amavin · 06-01-2006, 11:52 PM

Yes i have the pain....sometimes its like cramps, sometimes its like I'm being stabbed or ripped at. I haven't had an ultrasound or anything so I don't know if its a cyst rupturing or what, but it lasts for weeks or day or no time at all. i am pretty self aware of what hurts where and it feels like its right about where the ovaries would be....and since i know i have PCOS...its a safe bet.

as far as DBF, anything involving pain, blood, cutting, or pain.....anything descriptive makes him turn green. I've sent him the link to this site along with a letter...its up to him. i know exactly what you mean though, he has social anxiety disorder and I'm a very prominent poster on his support site. (under an anoymous name, so they dont know I'm his GF) he has told me that it meant alot to him. It's up to him though, I don't want him to feel uncomfortable.

sleepydumpling · 06-02-2006, 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fyn_Hubby

This is a one of those times where this horrible curse of PCOS reveals itself as the true blessing that it has the potential to be. Sure it makes life suck at times, but it's also going to help you find out whether this guy is worthy of being with you, or if he's worth less than the dirt on your shoes.

What a beautiful way of expressing it! You're a true gentleman Fyn_Hubby! And a rare gem!

Fynralyl · 06-02-2006, 04:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sleepydumpling

You're a true gentleman Fyn_Hubby! And a rare gem!

I think so too!

ajhyer · 06-02-2006, 05:42 PM

Wow! Only 23 and so much wisdom. You truly are one of a kind. Your a so bright and thoughtful and you make me cry, but in a good way! Thank you for your support of all women on this board! Keep those posts coming!

GothicCyster · 06-02-2006, 06:49 PM

fyn husband ure the same age as me! i assumed u would b older just like ajhyer said, SO MUCH WISDOM!!!!!!!!! youre popular here, too!!!! ure wife is a LUCKY one!

Fyn_Hubby · 06-02-2006, 08:05 PM

ajhyer - Thank you. *hugs* Happy tears are good, but I sisll didn't mean to make you cry.

GothicCyster - Everybody always assumes that I'm older than I am, even in "real life". A very common mistake.

Thank you.