is today. I remember that day so well, being so scared because I knew it was going to be so hard for him at 24W6D, being so excited because I was finally going to meet him, and being so sure that everything would be okay because we'd already made it through so much. Yeah, right.
Tomorrow is the one-month anniversary of him dying in my arms. You guys are the only ones who truly understand how much it hurts.
I've barricaded myself in bed with lots of junk food. Screw low carbing for this one weekend.
__________________ Dominici was born May 2006!
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Miracle Baby Boy Rivelino, born too early to live on October 6, 2004 at 24 weeks and 6 days. Never to be forgotten, always to be remembered, forever my source of inspiration.
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we're all here if you need us. ((hugs))
*you're in my thoughts and prayers*
__________________
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Hey Viv...you eat to your hearts content and then tomorrow when you feel like crap we'll send you more hugs
And as for little Rivi....Bless his little heart...and you too.
Hugs to you...
__________________ Kim 40 PCOS/IR/IC/PIH/PTL
DS6yrs-preemie-30w)Twins-Met,Prometrium, Puregon Injectibles DS3YRS
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TTC#4 w/Injectibles-IVF conversion/CERCLAGE/6.2mo bedrest/emerg c-sec at 38wks
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Viv,
Whatever gives you the tiniest comfort this weekend, go right ahead and do it. You are absolutely right that we understand. We all know how a mother's arms can ache to hold her precious baby.
Sometimes escaping into a movie can help me through the bad days. Sometimes instead it's better for me to go to the cemetery and wallow and talk to her. Do you have his urn yet? I can't remember if you posted when it was ready for you. I would love to see a picture if you are able.
((Hugs))
We are with you,
Sheri
__________________ Metformin 1500mg, Yasmin, managing IR/pcos with lower carbs
First pregnancy ended at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Mary Catherine will be in our hearts forever, November 28, 2003.
Second loss March 9, 2004 at five weeks
Third pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
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Fourth pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
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__________________ Erica -38, To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. DH Sandy-38
Dx PCOS/IR since I was 18, on 2000mg metformin XR.
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Viv,
I'm still thinking of you and Rivi today, as well as the whole family. I hope that love will get you through these tough times.
((Hugs again))
Sheri
__________________ Metformin 1500mg, Yasmin, managing IR/pcos with lower carbs
First pregnancy ended at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix.
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Second loss March 9, 2004 at five weeks
Third pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
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Fourth pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
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Riding my trike
LISA 40, DH 42
M/C 11/00, 12/06
Dx: PCOS 9/00, Type 2 DM & HTN 7/09
Meds: Amaryl 4mg, Met ER 1000 2X/day, Micardis 80mg, Iron, Calcium w Vit D, Multivit
Approved for WLS 6/09-awaiting a date!
Mommy to
NICHOLAS AUSTIN 9/1/01
PATRICK JOHN 2/15/05
SARAH ELISABETH 9/28/07
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I spent Saturday, Sunday and yesterday in bed. I turned off the phone, ate junk food, looked at pics of Rivi and cried.
DH was very concerned, my Mom was very concerned, and for a little while I even scared myself (I could NOT stop crying, and I just wanted to die - not suicidal, just wanting to be with Rivi that badly).
But, today, I had to get up to go to an interview, and getting out of the house worked wonders. I actually sang along with the radio, which made me feel guilty (bad mother!). Then I remembered that I'd just spent three days wallowing in my grief, and I lightened up some.
I still don't give a darn about any of these jobs, but I know we need the money, and getting out of the house is probably for the best. It's just that a huge part of me wants to lay around and be miserable.
I haven't taken a picture of the urn yet (I need one for Rivi's baby book, anyway). It is beautiful. I've got it locked away out of kitty reach. If one of them broke it, they would have to die. I'm going to find or have someone make a glass cabinet for it. That way Rivi will be visible and safe.
Thanks for caring, guys. I always feel so much better when I come here.
__________________ Dominici was born May 2006!
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Miracle Baby Boy Rivelino, born too early to live on October 6, 2004 at 24 weeks and 6 days. Never to be forgotten, always to be remembered, forever my source of inspiration.
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Can I ask how much Rivi weighted and how long he was. My nephew was born at 28 weeks because my sister has a kidney disease and he was shutting her kidney down. He weighed 1 pound nine ounces and was 13 inches long. My nephew did make it. He is now five years old. I feel bad that you lost your little boy. I would just like to know how much he weighed and how long he was because of how much my nephew weighed. I hope I did not hurt your feelings for what I wrote about my nephew because that is NOT what I am trying to do. HUGS
Lacy,
Don't feel bad about asking a mother about her little treasure. We like to talk about them. It's amazing when the tiny ones are able to pull through, and I'm glad your nephew was so lucky.
Viv,
I'm so glad you got through the rough time. I think you are really doing well to think about working and getting out. Good luck at these interviews.
__________________ Metformin 1500mg, Yasmin, managing IR/pcos with lower carbs
First pregnancy ended at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Mary Catherine will be in our hearts forever, November 28, 2003.
Second loss March 9, 2004 at five weeks
Third pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
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Fourth pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
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I DO love to talk about him. Weird, he actually had your nephew beat size-wise! And he was only 24W6D. He had been measuring larger since the first ultrasound, so I'm not surprised. He weighed 1 lb 10 oz, and was 13.25" long.
He was doing great when he was born, but we had an infection he couldn't fight. I am 100% sure he would have been fine if not for that. He was a tough little guy.
When I look at pictures, I'm always surprised, because I forget how tiny he was. He filled my arms perfectly, so he was the perfect size, right?
Thanks, Sheri, for the interview good luck. I had one that I think I'd like, but it's for a non-profit, and I don't think they'll offer the money I need (the woman who would be my boss works a second job to make ends meet). We'll see. If they come close, I may take it, anyway. I really liked the people there, and it's a new position, so I'd get to help build the job.
__________________ Dominici was born May 2006!
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Miracle Baby Boy Rivelino, born too early to live on October 6, 2004 at 24 weeks and 6 days. Never to be forgotten, always to be remembered, forever my source of inspiration.
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I am at least glad that Rivi was a little bigger than my nephew even though it is not by much. My nephew had been getting starved for 2 to 4 weeks because there was something that was not working right to get the food to him. The only set back my nephew has had as being a preemie is he had to have glasses. Otherwise he is hell on wheels. We had a family friend who was pregnant and she was due in August 2002 and I believe it was May 1 2002 she went in to go to the bathroom and when she looked down her little girl's feet were hanging outside of her vaginal opening. The baby ended up passing away because she was on life support and she was not completely developed. Now they had a little girl in December 2003 and they also have a 4 year old son.
I'm so glad your nephew's doing so well. And, even though your friend lost her little girl, it's wonderful that she went on to have other babies. I love to hear success stories. It gives me hope for the future.
I LOVED being pregnant, and Rivi showed us how great it is to be parents. So I know we'll try again once we build up the courage.
Lately I've been fixated on one thought whenever I lose it over Rivi - I never got to change his diaper. I don't know why that is bothering me so much more than all of the other things we never got to do, but it is. It even bothers me more than knowing my breasts made milk he never got to drink. Weird.
__________________ Dominici was born May 2006!
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Miracle Baby Boy Rivelino, born too early to live on October 6, 2004 at 24 weeks and 6 days. Never to be forgotten, always to be remembered, forever my source of inspiration.
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