Yesterday I went to work and was looking forward to it for the first time since we lost our baby. My boss's wife also has PCOS, but she is pregnant with her first little one. I am genuinely happy for her, even have plans to make her a baby quilt before her due date. The problem is (I work at a place called Wild Birds Unlimited) that they have announced the "nestlings" due date etc, and invited the customers to take a guess at the weight. Whoever gets it gets free seed for a year. The MAJOR problem is that yesterday I had to on no less than at least 12 occasions give these people the status of someone else's pregnancy. Here I am talking about how well someone else is doing with their baby, when I haven't got mine. It just hurts. It hurts and it's like pouring salt in the wounds. Hell, I know these folks had no idea I was pregnant, but having to talk about HER'S is just making me miserable. I walked off the floor yesterday in the middle of a conversation about it because if I didn't I would have broken down in tears. *sighs*
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Oh no, thats just terrible, couldnt you possibly ask your manager to give the task of explaining about the pregnancy to someone else? I think its only fair given the circumstances. No one wants to see a fuss made out of someone elses baby when they lost their pregnancy.....
I'm so sorry. I'd ask the boss to handle those questions from now on. It's definitely salt being rubbed into a fresh, gaping wound.
((HUGS)).
__________________ Dominici was born May 2006!
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Miracle Baby Boy Rivelino, born too early to live on October 6, 2004 at 24 weeks and 6 days. Never to be forgotten, always to be remembered, forever my source of inspiration.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. (My blog)
Thanks ladies. I didn't know if I was just being unreasonable or if this is a natural thing. Do you ever just feel numb though? Like everything is sort of surreal? It helps to know that this is normal though. My co-workers have just been wonderful though this entire time as well as my Sweetie. He's been so caring and comforting. Today was the day that my miscarriage was confirmed. It happened right around 1:30. Today he took an hour lunch break just to come home and hold me and make me eat something and to run me a bubble bath. He has just been incredible. He's taking me out tonight to help me pick out a little rose bush for rememberance so that we can plant it together. I found three GREAT books from the library as well that may help a lot with what we are all going through. (If this is inappropriate to post here I'm sorry!)
The first one is called:
Miscarriage after Infertility: A Womans Guide to Coping
by: Margaret Comerford Freda & Carrie F. Semelsberger
The second is called:
Miscarriage: Why It Happens and How Best to Reduce Your Risks
by: Henry M. Lerner, M.D., OB/GYN
The third one is called:
Yoga For Depression
by: Amy Weintraub
I don't know if y'all experience depression like I do, but the last one is great. It's fun trying to try some of the positions but it helps me to actually -really- relax as well. Just wanted to send a little encouragement your way today with a few good reads.
Angela
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Angela,
Thank you for sharing those titles. Let us know if you like the first two. Grief can look a lot like depression, and some of us get thrown into a little depression either from the grief or from the wacko hormones that go along with pregnancy loss.
Hugs to you! I don't think you're being unreasonable at all with the work issue. If there's no way around it, just keep running to the back for some tears once in a while, but I think you should mention to the boss what's going on. I'm glad you can be happy for these folks, as it's obvious they have been through some trouble and uncertainty too. Overloading on it can be awful, however, so I wish you luck with that problem.
Take care, and let your sweetie spoil you all weekend,
Sheri
__________________ Metformin 1500mg, Yasmin, managing IR/pcos with lower carbs
First pregnancy ended at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Mary Catherine will be in our hearts forever, November 28, 2003.
Second loss March 9, 2004 at five weeks
Third pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Duncan 2/11/05, 9lb 3oz
Fourth pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Ruby 2/27/06, 9lbs
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I was about to look up Wild Birds Unlimited in the phone book, then go on mapquest for directions just to come over and give you a big hug. Then I thought to myself, if I go in there demanding to speak to Fairyflies, surely someone will call the men in the white coats to take me away. So, I decided to post a hug instead. (((((Fairyflies))))).
Gina
__________________ Gina
Mommy to a beautiful baby girl Victoria Elyse and 1 pampered furbaby kitty Lacey
Check my album for current pictures
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Mom to 6 angel babies and 1furry angel baby
"My heart is broken, but not my spirit. My desire to be a Mother is greater than my fear of another miscarriage." Gina M.
Gina you cracked me up with that one! I needed the laugh and if you had come in looking for "Fairyflies" they probably would have tried to sell you a butterfly feeder rofl!! Oye, what a weird day this has been.
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Frequently! Especially in the beginning, I was like a zombie. I think it is our mind's mechanism for not having to deal with the crushing pain all at once. It processes everything in little increments. It's amazing that way.
__________________ Adrianne 31, DH 44 - married 6/01 - 2 DSDs (13 & 15)
Gabriel born 19w5d 11/15/04 due to IC. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
I was feeling totally numb emotionally through the physical part of the m/c, which ended last Thursday. It's been the last week that I've started dealing with the emotional aspect of the loss. I've been dreading Mother's Day, but May 8th is also the one-year anniversary of my dh & my first comminication online, so I have a reason to celebrate and hopefully diffuse some of the sadness.
If I went in & asked for Fairyflies, I would imagine I'd be asking for some sort of insect that eats aphids or something....
I would find it very hard to do what you are doing also, and with the cheerfulness required of good customer service, too. Hang in there - take time to take care of yourself. Maybe an extra day at home (altho I know it's not easy with work etc). You are not alone in this!
__________________ Belle
me-32, DH-340
SS - 16, SD - 14 (OSS, died at age 19 in 2001)
dx'd March 2003
pg June '03 (naturally)
m/c (d&c) Sept '03
clomid 1st cycle 50 mg
quit fertility rx
pg March '05
u/s 4/26/05 showed no fetal heartbeat
d&c May 13 2005
pos pg test July 4 2006 (6 wks)
fingers crossed!
Hugs Fairiflies!!! i just wanted to say you're alot stronger then i was...i work with children and young families and i could not...COULD not...go back to work for 5+ months after losing my girls. I couldnt face them, talk about things, look anybody in the eye, especially moms who were pregnant the same time i was and now had their babies...i can't imagine making it through the day as well as you did.
Your dh sounds really wonderful and i'm glad you've made it through another emotional success...one more pothole left behind you.
It's So Hard 
I needed the laugh and if you had come in looking for "Fairyflies" they probably would have tried to sell you a butterfly feeder rofl!! Oye, what a weird day this has been.
