Sadness is...

Lendi · 03-06-2004, 08:41 PM

having your DS leave for Iraq.

having a child who has this DD and not being able to make her better.

having friends who are angry at each other. And, not knowing what really happened or how to support either of them.

jewels12345 · 03-06-2004, 09:14 PM

Lendi,

I know that you yourself are in need of support right now and perhaps will not have answers to my question, but I thought I'd ask just the same. I have a co-worker, an absolutely wonderful woman whose DS has recently left for Afghanistan. She continues her daily routine as usual, but I can tell by the look in her eyes that she is afraid, devastated and emotionally exhausted. He is her only child. How can I support her. It breaks my heart to see her in such pain.

Julie

Lendi · 03-06-2004, 09:49 PM

Let her know that you realize her son is doing the right thing, even if you might feel it's for the wrong reason. I don't know your feelings about the war, of course, but it's hard to hear people bad mouthing our young soldiers who are just doing their job and what their consciences says.
Send her notes, e-mails just to say "hi". Acknowledge her pain. It hurts so terribly much. Tell her she can just talk if she needs to and you'll listen. She might need to just talk about her feelings and tell stories about her son without feeling as though she might be boring people. She needs to know that people care about her son and want to know how he is.
Ask her for his addresss. Send him cards, or goodies...adopt him. And let her know you are going to. It will help take the burden off her shoulders a little. It's hard to find things to write about, but mail is so very important to the soldiers. It's easier when someone else sends mail too. Or, even an e-mail addy although it's harder for them to check e-mail. It does a mom's heart good to know that someone else is taking the time to help with the support.
Mostly, just be there, which you obviously are. She needs a friend and you are a good one

Lendi

jewels12345 · 03-06-2004, 09:59 PM

Thanks Lendi. The funny thing is, her son is almost the same age as I am. He is an engineer and an officer with the Canadian Armed forces and is helping to rebuild. She has told me that he has his own plan to help rebuild the sewage system as well as accomplish his assigned duties. He sounds like such a wonderful person. I'm sure your DS is just as wonderful and just as young. I know there is nothing I can say to make you feel better, but I can acknowledge that you have the right to be sad. I know you, and my coworker, will be sad and afraid until your DS come home. They will be in my prayers.

(((((HUGS))))))

Julie

santa'sbaby · 03-06-2004, 11:54 PM

My prayers are with you Cyster. Deal with this the way that you know you have to...be who you are and let the rest fall where it may. You are an amazing lady with the compassion that blows me away every time. This is the time however when you need to take care of yourself. Let others be there for you.

Keep talking about it. We will always be here for you.

Lendi · 03-08-2004, 12:22 AM

Thank you April. I always read your posts and wonder why I didn't think to say that. I think you are an awesome mod!

I'm hurting quite a bit right now. My DIL sent us some pictures via e-mail of the last few minutes before DS left to check in tonight. I keep thinking I will run out of tears soon, but they seem to keep flowing. I guess my safety valve has really blown

I know I will feel better after I calm down as the worse, the leaving, is over. There will be bad days, but the awful wait is finally done. I feel so badly for the wives and children of our military. I have a mother's fears and sadness. But, I don't have to deal with the day to day single parenting.
The one good thing is that he has a fairly boring position in Iraq because his job doesn't exist there. So, they had to get him another job and it is one of the safer ones. I pray that the Lord brings him back home. I pray that the war ends and all of our people return home.