Scared

sea_breeze · 08-31-2002, 01:25 AM

I am sorry for posting this here when I know there are cysters whose situations are far worse than mine, but I needed to post this somewhere.

I don't know how to handle anything right now. I am so scared. I feel desperate, like I can't go on... don't want to face anything. I feel so totally overwhelmed at the moment... my grandmother has leukemia, my best friend seems to be ignoring me, i am so homesick it hurts. It was this time a year ago that I lost my baby at 12 weeks. What scares me the most is that I am starting to shut off... I have already lost my appetite and losing weight just isn't an option for me.

I wish I knew where to turn.

Bibi · 08-31-2002, 02:31 AM

Hi SeaBreeze,

I am scared and frustrated a lot of the time too. My sister was just diagnosed with breast cancer and my aunt is battling a second round of radiation for hers, and this PCO stuff really scares me. I often feel like i am just at the end and that things can only get worse but then I have to really look inside and think about the things that are worth fighting for...it always works for me....watching my family battle this breast cancer and seeing them in pain and in the circumstances they are in makes my problems seem tiny...BUT to me my problem is huge...large...grande...and everyone handles their issues differently...but everyone has the right to feel that their problem is big because to them it is...and the great thing about this board is that we are all in the same boat, maybe not the same symptoms but the same diagnosis...anyway i just wanted to let you know I am thinkng of you and that it's ok to be scared...{{{{HUGS}}}}} Bibi

abudner · 09-09-2002, 08:23 AM

Dear Sea Breeze---
I hear your pain & agony. I wish there was something I could do for you. All I can say, is that we all have "crutches" we must bear. Yours is no worse or better than anyone else's. But, it is real to you & you sound like you are undergoing lots of stress. Keep praying for your grandma. It's important that you are there for her. In regard to your best friend, remember, a true friend is there when the rest of the world has walked out. She or he may be suffering some personal stress or trauma that they haven't told you about. You need to communicate with them & find out what's on their mind. You also need to surround yourself with people, places & things that make you happy & complete. Try to do one thing each day that can make you happy whether it be planting a flower, going for an ice cream, taking a walk, calling a friend or getting your hair done. Also, try to do something special for those you love - doing for others will make you happy too. In regard to your weight loss, it could be a symptom of stress and/or depression. I'm just the opposite. I've gained weight because of my depression. I just hope you can find the strength to keep going & know that there are many people who care about you & find you to be a vital, wonderful soul. As you said, don't let the bastards grind you down. You deserve better. Keep the faith & know that "this too shall pass." Good Luck & God Bless You.

CTCyster · 09-09-2002, 04:21 PM

(((Seabreeze)))

I am sorry to hear about your grandmother's DX- and it must be excruciating to be homesick and far away from home. Is there any way you could plan a visit to refresh yourself and rejuvinate your spirit? That might help! Just getting to see familiar faces and places can do wonders.

I am sorry you're feeling so low right now- come here and vent whenever you need to- we're all here for you!

Aimee