Scared and Depressed ( kind of long)

paragrap · 09-02-2002, 11:26 PM

Hi everyone,

I have been feeling very depressed this last week and I've been feeling really alone and just needed to talk to someone. My DH is wonderful and is very supportive but he has enough stress (he's a firefighter and he has type II diabetes) without me adding to it.

I have been TTC for 7 years. I have had 3 m/c at approximately 6 - 7 weeks. My last RE did an immunology workup on me and I just recently received the results. All tests were negative but one test called Alpha DQ genotyping came back showing that my DH and I share a genotype. According to my research, it's been shown that if mothers who are HLA-DQ alpha and/or beta compatible with their fetus tend to have a higher rate of miscarriage before eight weeks of pregnancy. My husband says that we should be thankful that we have found the reason for the m/c's and now we have somewhere to start. I am thankful but at the same time I am scared that this means that I will never be able to carry a pregnancy to term. There is only one treatment for this and it's not 100% effective. I know I shouldn't jump to conclusions, but my new RE is on vacation and in the meantime all kinds of thoughts are going through my head. To top it all off I'm 36, I will turn 37 in January and I am scared that my age is just an additional problem that will prevent me from acheiving my dream of being a mother.

My family is supportive, they know I have PCOS but I haven't told them of all of my m/c and I just don't feel that I can talk to them about this. Sorry this is so long. If you've gotten this far, thank you so much for listening.

CTCyster · 09-02-2002, 11:32 PM

Jennifer,

That's good news that now you at least have a starting point to work from- I agree with your DH about that. But I am sorry that you're going through all this stress over the uncertainty of your reproductive future. It seems like you are feeling very burdened right now this.

I wish there was something I could say that would help, but the only thing I can really offer is for you to take a step back, take a deep breath and try to rationally approach the situation. Also, take full advantage of the support you are offered from your DH, family, friends, and your cysters. Having the support you need can be the difference between success and failure in so many aspects of life.

Hang in there cysta!!
Aimee

Bibi · 09-02-2002, 11:33 PM

I think what you are feeling is ok....it is ok to be scared and to be worried and all the things you feel....as for your age there are a lot of cysters that have conceived later then you...I am 30 and I worry about this but it always makes me feel better to know I am not alone in this....I just want you to know I am thinking of you and that there are so many of us who care about you!!! Hang in there Cyster!!!!!!! Bibi

paragrap · 09-04-2002, 04:59 AM

Thanks Aimee and Bibi for your kind words and encouragement. I am taking it one day at a time and trying to think positively. Thanks again for the support!