Self-image daily thread - Page 101

Mschin · 03-18-2008, 06:00 PM

I guess I feel ok today besides having this BIG ASS pimple on the side of my face...I'm ok!!

LOL

auburn315 · 03-20-2008, 02:24 AM

I hope I am doing this right.

Today has been a better day. The last couple of days though were a nightmare. I cried off and on all day. I wanted nothing else but to just be raptured up to heaven (though I don't want to kill myself--just a nice, sweet little poof and I'm there would be nice).

I didn't connect my depression with my PCOS. I have just accepted I have PCOS and that no doctors know or care about what to do for me. I really feel if men experienced these types of problems, there would be treatment for it.

Well, it's late and time for bed, so I won't write much tonight. I hope to be writing more and participating on the board.

Ladies, I'm so glad you're here.

auburn315 · 03-20-2008, 10:52 AM

Today I am a mess. I've started crying and am having a problem stoppinig. When I do stop, I feel so incredibly sad.

After registering and reading some of your posts last night, I searched hypothyroidism. It sounds completely like me except without the constipation. I called a local endocrinologist today to make an appointment, and they told me that I needed a referral. I started feeling down right away and was fighting tears. I never have an easy time with doctors. They tend to attribute everything to weight and don't consider that there may be something going on that is contributing to the weight. I called my gynecologist. He knows that I have PCOS and have hormonal issues, so he shouldn't mind giving me a referral, right? I hope not. I had to leave a message with his nurse on voicemail and by the end of the call I was crying through the phone number to return the call to. I apologized for being emotional and requested they call me back to let me know if they could refer me.

I hate having to be at work feeling like this, but at the same time, work is what helps to distract me. Ladies, know that I am thinking about you, too. I am glad to know I have a place to go where other people are experiencing some of the same issues I am.

hannahcorns423 · 03-20-2008, 02:37 PM

Hey there! Today is not a good day at all.... I'm having what a I call a "Fat Day". I'm fat anyway but I'm asctually feeling the fatness. You know what I mean? The days where you get out of bead and you stand up straight so your gut is just hangin out there. You get dressed and your clothes are uncomfortable even though you wore them last week and you felt just fine... and your hungry and just want to sit on the couch all day and what TV and eat...yeah, that's pretty much how im feelin today! Irritable, people and things are just getting on my nerves and of course im not in such great mood so im being a little short and tempramental...yup, its one of those days!

The other thing is, I dont know if you all have this problem or not, but but I'm 27 years old and have been dealing with this PCOS crap for 10 years or more and as each year goes by my libido is just vanishing right before my eyes. My poor husband is a "healthy" man and wants to be intimate. But, I am completely not interested. It's beginning to hender our relationship. He just doesnt understand. Like to today he actually asked me if I thought I would feel up to it tonight! UUGGHH! It doesnt matter how much I explain to him, he just doesnt get it. I have absolutely not desire. He thinks that I'm not attracted to him. Not the case, I've explained that its not him, its me. He thinks just by me going to the doctor that it cures all.

Im sorry for the ranting. Im just fed up! Between the facial hair, the weight, the insulin resistance, the lack of sex drive and the infertility, its all getting to me.... The most discouraging thing is looking for answers and simple solutions and not finding them. I know that not everything is easy and it takes work to achieve the goals of weight loss and feritlity...but, I'm just saying, how nice would it be to just press and "easy" button and it would all go away?

PuppyLove · 03-22-2008, 04:46 AM

Hannah

I totally understand what you're going through (except I'm single). I so HATE my body today that I just want the world to go away and for no one to have to see how hideous I am.

Stupid me went clothes shopping today to try and make myself feel better, to have some nice clothes to wear. Yeh right!! Who makes nice clothes for people over a size 14 in Australia ... no one thats who!! After trying on a few things, I was ready to walk out and walk under the front of a bus. I just wanted to scream and cry "WHY ME!!!" .... I've gained so much weight lately that it feels like I'm gaining weight just by breathing

I can't stand this feeling, I'm not coping, I feel so alone in my world with this, none of my friends are overweight like me, their all slim and have partners. I don't think I could feel more undesirable if I tried. I can't even stand to look in the mirror because I'm just repulsed at what I see.

I've found the pill we need Hannah

I want a lifetime's supply - now!!

shinwin · 03-24-2008, 05:02 PM

I am feeling low. I cried myself to sleep last night, woke up crying, called in sick to work and have sat and cried much of the day. I want feel better, but the facial hair is maddening.... I think I am spinning into depression and that makes me think, Oh great, one more thing to make you different and require more medications.

hannahcorns423 · 03-25-2008, 02:21 PM

Hey Shinwin!

I completely know how you feel! Sometimes looking in the mirror and actually seeing what others see is horrifying. And it seems that no matter what you do, it just wont go away!!!!! As simple as you want it to be, its just not that simple. I've flooded with tears just by scratching my neck when I have an itch and feeling the stubble... Some days are better than others, but to me, there are more "other" days!! Hang in there! Take your time and think of possible solutions that work for you. Unfortunately, that is something else that we have to deal with, not only thinking about the things that we have to deal with but also thinking of ways to remedying them for ourself. And to each of us the solutions are as unique as we are. Other people's solutions may not be our solutions entirely. Some things work and some things don't. This site is wonderful. Take advantage of it. Read! And learn what approached others are doing to heal themselves, not just physically but emotionally as well! Because of this site I now have an appointment on April 8th to see an Endocrinologist for the first time. I'm excited! when I called my Gyno and asked why he had never referred me to the Endo, he simply stated that he didnt feel the need to waste my time and money. That the changes that I felt needed to happen were relying on me. All that I had to do was loose weight! LOL! What a prick! After I had pleaded with him to assist me in finding a program that would work for me.... Well, anyway... My lesson has been learned! The women and men on here are wonderful people. If you have any questions ask someone that is on here. I have, and i'm feeling a little little little better each day!

To all: Good luck & Hang in there!
Hannah

candycarolina · 04-02-2008, 08:34 PM

Sad About The Perspective The Past May Have Given Me

Angela S · 04-02-2008, 08:57 PM

My self-image today is pretty crappy. I have been so hormonal lately and today was no exception. Plus I have a huge zit just to the right of my nose which is lovely. I'll get over it though.

lynaeducky · 04-05-2008, 07:06 PM

wow this a great idea I"m a size 14 and 5 feet i used to struggle with bulimia and now with my pcos it's hard to really like my body but, I know that I will never go back to that lifestyle I think that women with pcos are all beautiful on the inside and the outside and that is what the rest of the world needs to realize

plebblemoose · 04-21-2008, 07:30 PM

Hey, I've never posted on this particular board before, but I need to just have a rant, and get crap out of my system.
Im having a baaaaaad day today... Its because I watched a programme on self-esteem and body image and it got me thinking... I'm really sodding sick of hiding everything from my friends and family... I've never told them how horrible insecure I feel about my weight or how I look. Both my sisters are slim (UK Size 8 and both are near 30!) whereas I, alas, am not (UK16/18 and only 19yrs old!). I never mention how much I hate my body, I just make excuses to not go clothes shopping or to go out for nights out with friends... I went through a period last year where I left my house maybe once every 2 weeks, and felt horrid the whole time, and had to hide it from my bf and family. I'd cry at night while he slept next to me and I could never bring myself to say anything. I feel like I'm coming down with that again...
To top that I have a disorder that prevented my breast tissue and milk ducts from growing so I never developed, even slightly, but again, I never told anyone this. I had a ritual of hiding whenever I got changed, and had numerous ways of hiding myself. Since I've had implants I'm still not comfortable with myself, and it feels like I was expected to just accept this huge change to my body and get on with it. I've never spoken to anyone about the op, or how I feel after it... I'm keeping my all, bottled up inside, and now I keep on binging almost because I feel so... loathing of myself.
It also means I haven't had sex with my bf for about a year now (he's amazing for putting up with it, especially because he has no clue why...) and can't bear it when he hugs me at night incase he feels how fat I am.
Ok, so I've rambled on waaaaaay to long. Maybe posting this will make me feel a little emotionally lighter? Here's hoping. xxx

candycarolina · 04-21-2008, 09:31 PM

kinda concerned but happy im 5 days late n wasw regular since nov of last year n im on met , spiro n loestrin 24 so im thinking i could be preggers it may be unplanned but ..... im going to the doc in two weeks!

molly99 · 04-25-2008, 01:21 AM

Thanks for this thread - great idea!

faeryvixen83 · 04-25-2008, 04:09 PM

today i feel crappy....i hate the fact that i have to shave every day like a guy does...and that i can't get rid of my skin tags...my hair is thin so its limp and lifeless..and summer is almost here...but i can't really enjoy summer because i feel like i have to hide under big cloths...today is not a good image day :-( then again...when is??

myss maya · 05-03-2008, 03:14 AM

Today was terrible I went to my fave store and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I looked so fat! I would hae cried if i werent in public. I wish there was more I can do to make myself feel better. I have been dieting for months and nothing is helping. I cant help to think WHY ME ?!?!? sorry ladies I needed to vent to people who actually know what I am going through. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day