~ Aussie Cyster ~ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Severe IR / Migraines / Depression
1500mg Metformin XR
Cinnamon/Chromium/Magnesium/Vit B's
Laparoscopy/Ovarian Drilling and Curette 27/7/09
Born to be a Mummy to dogs!!
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Well, I've lost 20lbs. My self-image still hasn't really improved. I lost weight in my butt, but I still have that flabby stomach!!! Grrr.
I'm so lucky to have a hubby that accepts me the way I am, because I have issues accepting myself. I am paranoid about someone saying something about my facial hair or acne. I am paranoid about losing the hair on my head. I have cried and cried about my fertility issues. I wish I was like the other women I know that are prettier and thinner.
__________________
TTC since '07
On a TTC till we meet with my RE in June.
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I think I can safely say this is as low as I've been. I feel enormous, and incredibly unattractive. Went shopping with a thin friend today, HUGE mistake. 360 degree mirrors in changing rooms didn't help. I just look so.. lumpy, like a Russian shot putter in a bad mood. Add to that a completely heinous haircut that I have yet to recover from, plus the extra hair.... I'm not even a nice shape, I have a horribly flabby tummy, I've got horrific thunder thighs and a wide, but completely flat ass. Just had a huge row with my OH, because he wants to go out tonight and I don't. How do I explain to him that I just hate myself right now, and don't want to subject any one else (him included) to my jibbering, insecurity ridden lumpish self? I love him to pieces, but I don't know how to begin to explain what this is like. He thinks it's because of work, and that I'm being completely self absorbed. Maybe he's right about the latter. I'd pay a lot of money for a day in someone else's body. Or maybe just to be someone else.
Note to self: NEVER let anyone take a photo of me again!! ergggghhh gross city. Could I get anymore chins??!! Jesus I look revolting!! Friend even commented on it last night, yerrr thanks for that hun.
For those of you who actually have DH's etc, be thankful.
__________________
~ Aussie Cyster ~ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Severe IR / Migraines / Depression
1500mg Metformin XR
Cinnamon/Chromium/Magnesium/Vit B's
Laparoscopy/Ovarian Drilling and Curette 27/7/09
Born to be a Mummy to dogs!!
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Hiya ladies, cant say im having a bad self image today, as i have psirosis which just makes make look nasty all the time! I'm lucky as i don't have the weight issue, Im 19 and didnt think i really had a acne problem but my doc put the on the Dianette pill so im guessing thts a hint but help at the same time. Meh!
I have a big event to attend this weekend and there will be cameras everywhere. I tried to get out of it but I can't. I'm at a point now where I can't look at pictures of myself. Seeing my thin hair, multiple chins and bad skin is just too much and it makes me very depressed.
I agree with Louise - those of you with significant others are very lucky and I hope you appreciate that. As it stands I'm in my 30's and can't see myself being asked out on a date ever again.
Today started out great; it's the first day I've had off of both work and school since the begining of August. And then I got cleaned up and had lunch with a friend who also is having fertility issues. Then I went to the craft store and got stuff for my school project. I called my best friend and she was able to talk with me for a long while through the craft store... the woman is a SAINT! Then I was feeling a little over stiumalated being around all the people (anxiety issues) so I went home and picked up my dogs to take them to the park. We got there and there were dogs at the park w/ their humans and all played and got along well. When I was leaving the park I tripped over a tree root and jammed both of my wrists, scrapped up and bruised my elbows and knees, and have huge bruises on my feet/ankles. Now tell me how one day can go from really good to that in just seconds?! Needless to say I'm in a ton of pain now and am feeling like a loser and want to just crawl into a hole!
Thank god tomorrow is a new day!!
__________________ Renee (Nay) 27 & Jeff (DH) 28
My Newfie (Lisa) To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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my "kids" 1 retriever Lucky; and 1 Goldendoodle Fozzie
Dx: PCOS March 13, 2000
Other Dx: PTSD, Depression/Anxiety, Fibro, Sleep Apnea, High BP
Rx:Metformin 1500mgER, Prenatal Vits, Provera 10day
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Hello girls! I'm actually feeling pretty good today. I'm still self-concious about my (thinning?) hairline, but I had a lot of hair to begin with so I probably have normal hair thickness now!
I just wanted to let you gals know that you ARE beautiful! I know that probably sounds rather flippant, but it's true!
__________________
TTC since '07
On a TTC till we meet with my RE in June.
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Last night DH asked me to come early for the theatre next show so that I could come to his school and meet the staff and some of the students (He works for a totally awesome private school) and all I could think was I am so ashamed of my body and have nothing to wear... I could tell he was hurt by my reaction of being ashamed... I thought I was getting better with how I see my body, this was a test to let me know that hiding from the world is not going to challenge my false sense of how I see myself! I could cry from the fear of his collegues looking down on us because of me being his Amazon wife (I'm 4" taller with quite a bit of weight to loose)... he has a picture on his desk from about 60 pounds ago and several years ago and I have become much more gray and floppy since then and I just don't want to put anyone in the awkward position of being stuck saying something polite to fill the air... Somedays I wish I could just crawl in a whole and disappear for ever!
Well today being that new day I was hoping I'd feel better than this. It is sunny outside and a very comfortable temp outside. I probably should have taken the dog for a walk or something instead of just sitting here bumming out. After my fall yesterday I now look as though I have been beat; I'm not looking forward to explaining this at work today!
__________________ Renee (Nay) 27 & Jeff (DH) 28
My Newfie (Lisa) To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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my "kids" 1 retriever Lucky; and 1 Goldendoodle Fozzie
Dx: PCOS March 13, 2000
Other Dx: PTSD, Depression/Anxiety, Fibro, Sleep Apnea, High BP
Rx:Metformin 1500mgER, Prenatal Vits, Provera 10day
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Ok, it's time for a little motivation! Take it from a cyster who used to weigh nearly 400lbs, and thought she was the s*it! No matter what, love yourself! There is SOMETHING beautiful about each one of you-- play it up! I've lost over 100lbs, and STILL weigh 288lbs, and honey, do I think I look good! Yep, I have tons of skin that hangs off of me, but I don't care! I feel good! If I could give one thing to everyone here, it would be a piece of my self-esteem. One day I just made a decision that I was ok, I loved myself, and if people didn't like me, screw 'em!
There's a lot of things about PCOS that suck, don't we all know that, but the most important thing is that you don't let it take away your self-esteem, too. Love yourself, no matter what, and trust me, everything will fall into place!
__________________
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February 4th, 2009
6:12pm, 7lbs 21 inches
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Since I've just been diagnosed now in my 40's, thinking about it I feel really sad--my VERY rapid weight gain came on in my 30s along with my cysts bursting, etc. and NO ONE diagnosed me until now. On the one hand I feel lucky that I haven't had serious illnesses and that I have a wonderful husband, but WHY WHY didn't any doctors believe me until now when I said I was gaining weight and didn't know why and my self esteem was basically in the toilet for so long?? It's frustrating....I feel that I, along with others I'm sure, could've been treated YEARS sooner.
Thank God for the "cyster" that wrote the post above mine! Wish I would've read it before posting this! It is so true, I am thankful for what I do have and I guess I shouldn't be so sad. At least I am finally getting help where others may never. Thank you for the reality check.
Last edited by OlderCyster; 09-20-2008 at 05:59 AM.
Reason: Wish I would've read the post above mine first!
Funny I find myself back here to this thread
It's been a while but here I am
I look in the mirror and I see a beautiful person someone with lots of drive and ambition but someone who everyone calls a man. I don't have a full beard or anything but under my chin there is enough and I have a mustache. I shave every day and now marks are bing left on my face and nothing seems to get the hair completely off I get tired of being judged by the hair on my face and not by who I am. I have lost lovers, my husband, and some friends because they are ashamed to be with me or if not then someone else makes them more aware of my facial defects. I loved a person recently and for whatever reason I wasn't good enough and it has taken a toll on me where I am loosing more hair and weight can you believe I have lost weight like I have when nothing else worked but the stress of not knowing why I wasn't good enough. They want to be just my friend but how do you turn off love for friendship I just don't think I can I have tried as sure as my name is Natalie but I get the bad end of the stick and am left wondering what I did wrong. Why I can't be loved
then I look at my daughter ans see all that she has gone through and wonder why I can't be as strong as her
Oh well I am tired of having pity parties I just want my life back in order and under control without this extra added mess I call a life right now
thanks for listening
Natalie
__________________ me 30
DD Kennedy 2 years old
four furry children Sami my Dalmatian (RIP 7/28/06), Midnight my American Pitt Bull (RIP 8/6/2008, and Screamer my alley kitten
not currently on medication
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 —
Take it from a cyster who used to weigh nearly 400lbs, and thought she was the s*it! No matter what, love yourself! There is SOMETHING beautiful about each one of you-- play it up! I've lost over 100lbs, and STILL weigh 288lbs, and honey, do I think I look good! 
