Self-image daily thread - Page 11

slhightower · 02-16-2004, 12:58 PM

Oh Denise, I'm sorry that happened this morning!!!!! I thought he got the picture the last time... MEN, can't live with them, and you get in trouble when you shoot them:o

!

Congrats on going to the gym, sometimes that is the best stress reliever!!!!

Efiefi · 02-16-2004, 03:38 PM

Sl,

Isn't he wonderful? (Sometimes) LMAO That's the first time in 3 years I got flowers. It sounds like ya'll had a blast at dinner. I don't drink at all not just b/c of TTC but b/c of alcoholisim in my family. Don't wanna take the chance. I haven't drank in 3 years. I am sending you big O vibes! Congrats on the moving forward with the adoption stuff. I didn't know they sent packets to your references. See you taught me something.

Miss,

I think that he had them shipped in from somewhere they came in a box and I had to arrange them myself. Hope you got something good. He didn't call you on Vday? Oh man I would be so upset. I don't blame you a bit for going out with that other guy. Complain away honey. You need someone to listen and we are here for you. How are you today?

Dede,

I had to arrange them myself so thanks! They came in a box. I love tulips they are so much more original than roses. Hope you got lots of money!! Did the checks go through? Oh I see they did! Yay for the paychecks! I think you need to be cautious about the setting of the date with him lying to you and all after you keep asking him not to write checks for his boss. I hope stuff straightens out. Congrats on going to the gym that is awesome. It will help you work out some of your frustrations hopefully.

misscoyote · 02-16-2004, 07:43 PM

Denise, I feel your frustration. Its hard to be the bad guy when it comes to money issues. Especially when everything else is going fine, but it is the number one reason why couples separate. He hasn't even learned the hard way yet. :-(

Princess, congrats on the three years of not drinking! Sometimes when things get so frustrating like right now, I think about it but there's alcoholism in my extended family too so I don't drink either.

sl, what is formaggi? I love the Macaroni Grill. Wish they had one around here. I have to drive for 2 1/2 hours just to get to the nearest Olive Garden!

Well, things are very strained right now between bf and me. I'm not sure what to do. On one hand I want to say the hell with it all and break it off and on the other hand I really want this to work. I know he's not seeing anyone else and I know he does care about me, but at what point do I draw the line. I'm really getting tired of putting on this face that says everything is fine when for whatever reason its all changed in the past few weeks. Now he's at the gym with the kids and probably won't call until late, if at all! He said he would make the effort to let me know that he cares about me and that things will be okay but actions speak louder than words.

To top it off, I'm getting pains so I think I must be getting AF! If I start o'ing now because of the increased gluc and we aren't active, it'll be so hard to handle.

misscoyote · 02-16-2004, 07:46 PM

I don't mean to come across so needy but I know you guys are great and I can tell you guys things I can't tell anyone else - at least for now. Thanks for being here.

dedepcos · 02-17-2004, 09:13 AM

Missy, did he call last night? I wish so bad that I could give you a hug. SO here is a virtual hug. Just take everything day by day. Give it a couple of days and see how he is acting.

princess, congrats on 3 years of not drinking. I have not done much of it lately. Well, about a month ago we drank and really did not drink way over what I usually did, however, jthe next day I was sick as a dog. We were going to run errands and I made him pull the car over 2x'ss. I have been making a conscience effort not to put alchohol in my body to often. I thought there for a little I was doing to much.

as far as me, He told me that deposit was to cover a check he wrote at one of the vendors the day that I found out the account had been overdrawn. He did not say much when I brought up the fact that it happened about 2 weeks ago or so. I think he is still lying. He told me he was sorry and that he had just taken it the wrong way cause he had just woke. I dont buy it though cause there is no way anyone could of taken my tone except as a simple question. Well, I think he has a guilty conscience and was just using the yelling as a defense mechanism. The other day I was talking to my parents about where I should get married at. They asked me if I had set a date. that Night i could not sleep i kept dreaming I was getting married and everytime I went to take the plunge something drastic happened and I would wake up. Then I told my fiance about some of it and I told him maybe I just am not ready and he got this annoyed look on his face. I dont know. This mortgage thing is not really working either and I sort of feel trapped.

anyways, i am really glad ya'll listen. YOu guys are really sweet
hugs
denise

dedepcos · 02-17-2004, 09:19 AM

sl, I am sorry i almost forgot. Dont you guys have your adoption classes this weekend? I am sooooo excited

hugs
denise

slhightower · 02-17-2004, 10:13 AM

Hey Denise,

Yep, Saturday we head back to south Dallas to go to the second part of our class and we are pumped! I have kind of been emotional the day or two... I guess it is all these hormones (normal ones) and my body just doesn't know quite what to do with them... like this morning, I was driving to work and was thinking to myself that I'm a mommy and my baby is out there somewhere just waiting for my paperwork to be completed before she can be with us forever, THEN I started crying, worrying about her safety and stuff... I'm weird!

Denise... marriage is a very big step, and should only be taken when both parties are ready to be completely open and honest about EVERY aspect of each life. 'And the two shall become ONE' So I say, since he has acted annoyed with you wanting to wait... lay it out for him... you can't and won't marry until your partner can trust and LOVE you enough to be honest! While that hurts to say and be heard, it is a fact. Without honesty you have NOTHING.

Miss, I'm sorry things are so strained. Much like my comments for Denise... it sounds like there is an honesty issue. And until things are better, I'm not sure that you would want to conceive a child right NOW... as much as I'm sure you would love to, sometimes it really is a timing issue!

Princess... so are you kicking it up into high gear packing... I can just imagine you running around you house in haste trying to get everything done to beat the clock!!!!

Well, it sounds like a lot of us are having a tough week so.... (((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))) to all of us!!!

misscoyote · 02-17-2004, 12:08 PM

sl, you have every right to cry happy tears! It is such an exciting time for you. Is Texas the only state where adoptions can be finalized in one day? I've heard something about that before and know a few people from here that have adopted from there. What is formaggi? lol

Princess, don't forget to leave out a few baggies to put in the screws from the beds and make sure to tape the baggies to the beds. That was probably the best moving tip I've gotten over the years. For some reason, those things always tend to disappear. lol

Denise, I am beginning to learn just how strange men are. They have a strangest defense mechanisms - anger and stupidity. haha

When I asked bf why he didn't call me and responded with "you didn't call me either!" Maybe I am making more of this than necessary. Could it just be my changing hormones? I know I am feeling different lately but is it affecting my behavior that much? Am I trying to create chaos because things were going so well before? When I went up there last night he just hugged me and kissed me and told me that he missed me and loved me. I don't get it...

slhightower · 02-17-2004, 12:19 PM

Miss... I'm not sure about the one day finalization. We will have a placement then wait 6 months (with the child in our home) and have the finalization at the courthouse where we have the birth certificate changed and all that stuff! Now people who know people who had a child, can have the child placed with them, then go thru the homestudy process and then have finalization and usually that takes less time from what I understand.

Ravioli Formaggi... umm, it was Ravioli stuffed with cheeses in a cream sauce!

Oh, men are stupid... I've been married for a little over 3 years now... but been together with him for going on 8 (ahhhhhhhh)! And to be honest, he is a freak

, but I've learned what works and what doesn't work. And for him accusations don't work, he gets really pissed with that. I have to wait till I'm calm and ask around the topic (sort of) and then eventually work my way to it and we can have a 'logical' conversation (his choice of words). I have to be careful because I am a very emotional person, and he really isn't so to get anywhere we have to be on an even playing field and I have to have my facts together! And typically he won't necessarily admit he is in the wrong, but I end up getting some sort of gift... like a new cutting board that goes with my kitchen, or something

!

Efiefi · 02-17-2004, 01:30 PM

Miss,

Thanks for the congrats. There are plenty of alcoholics in my family and I get concerned b/c I was liking it a bit too much so better safe than sorry. I love Olive Garden too but it is a drive from my house right now. It will be closer once I move hopefully. Sometimes it isn't the right answer to keep putting on the "everything's okay face" you may have to just pin him down and ask him what he wants b/c you don't need to waste your life waiting around for him to decide that he cares about you and wants to show it. You do not come across needy. You come across as a person who is giving love and wants to see it returned. That is a great tip about the baggies and the screws. =0) I do not think you are making more of it than it is. Quit doubting yourself and your feelings. =0) It sounds like he is the one who is hormonal. LMAO

Dede,

I used to drink like a fish. There were plenty of days of pulling the car over. LOL Hard not to be a drunk in New Orleans! LMAO Everything's a party down here. I am good now though. I think the yelling was a defense mechanisim b/c he KNEW he was wrong. And for what it's worth I'm gonna put my two cents in and tell you that I think if he loves you he will wait until you are ready to get married instead of pushing!!!! and I mean that.

Sl,

You are not weird. I have done the same thing!!! Ya'll should be proud of me I have finally gotten some momentum to my packing. Now this place looks extremely bare. It feels funny now. I am babysitting my neice Friday night and then again to take her and her brother to my godchilds birthday party. So packing in the midst of all that. I'm having an adventure. We estimate moving time between 5th and 12th of March. It depends on when the state gets us our bond money. Wish us luck. I'll keep ya'll updated. I been married a little over three years too! Men are annoying. LOL We've been together 4 years. All men are freaks. LOL Oh you get I'm sorry gifts too! I get those only when he really knows he has pissed me off beyond belief. But he still won't admit he's wrong. MEN. Gotta Love Them.

dedepcos · 02-17-2004, 04:19 PM

Men are so stupid. I told him that I dont need to feel like I am going to get yelled at everytime I go to ask a question. I think he is really lucky that I did not go completely balistic. He is such a Pig. Today He kept calling but my cell was in my car and I was online so I did not get the phone call when He called the house. WHen He finally got a hold of me he was like I so glad you are ok. I just wanted to tell you I love you. I thought something had happened cause I was trying to get a hold of you for hours.....and so on. Such a man pig but on the other hand he can be so sweet. Man, How a I am sorry present would be so good right now.

Missy, glad you talked to your bf. Hopefully things will be better.

princess, my mothers family is from around New orleans. Ya, it is hard not to drink there. lol.
hugs
denise

misscoyote · 02-17-2004, 04:36 PM

Yeah, I could go for an "I am sorry" present myself! lol

slhightower · 02-17-2004, 04:43 PM

You guys crack me up!!!!!

But you BOTH deserve 'I'm Sorry Presents' right now!

I have to say this:

I am so glad that you ladies are here! I enjoy coming online and seeing that you have posted, or talking with you thru out the day... while we are all at different places, we have a lot in common, and each of us seems to have a really great perspective on things!

So :p on men, and more power to my cysters

misscoyote · 02-18-2004, 12:25 PM

Hi ladies,

Just wanted to say good morning and see how everyone else was doing. Anything interesting going on?

As for me, we had another good talk last night including laughing, crying, and other activities. lol And princess, I think you hit it right on, he's hormonal!

dedepcos · 02-18-2004, 02:36 PM

OH missy, I am so glad that you guys talked and all that. I hope this is the begininng of things being brighter for you guys

as far as me, My day has been ok. I had to go to the school twice today. Once was to pick up my fiance's sons science stuff and the other time was because daughter forgot her health project. As frustrating as that is I secretly love to do things like that. I love the fact that they turn to me. Its the little things that matter when it comes to the kids. I find myself a tad bit more tolerable of things cause of them. They have truely had it rough. THere grandparents and uncles always comment on the changes they have made.

Last night my fiance was trying his hardest for a game of indoor sports

but I told him to quit cause he was still grounded for yelling at me the other day. He was using the pouty voice.lol He tried so hard. But, I stood my ground.lol.

We went to the gym last night but I dont think I worked out like I should of. I still give myself credit for going. YA ME!

The mortgage company's manager is hardly calling me back. And she has not done anything she said she was going to do. So, I am really having my doubts about that whole thing.

hope everyone is having a good day
denise hugs