I don't know if any of you are TTCing with your wives or not...but if you don't mind discussing this, many of us TTC ladies would love some input!!! Nothing about TTC with "help" is easy on DW or DH's, that's for sure!
When it is "that time" to BD (have sex)...it's been a fairly common occurence for our DH's to lose their erection and/or flat out refuse to have sex.
Is there anything we can do to help our DH's? Any tips on how to discuss or overcome this since intercourse timing is crucial in the TTC process?
Thank you so much for any feedback!
Robin
__________________ Robin
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me (33), hubby Derek (38)
short & fat, but cute!
No more treatment after 2.5yrs treatment and 3 mc's
I think that one of the things to do is try and not have sex only when you're ovulating. Make sure that there is stuff going on all month and try to vary it. If the only time for sex is for TTC, the performance anxiety is tremendous.
In my personal situation...my hubby has always had very very little sex drive, so little, in fact, the docs thought he had a hormone issue, too. I'm very lucky to "get it" once a week...and the romance and lingerie stuff is a joke. I cannot find a single thing that turns him on, whether 'just for fun' or 'clinical' reasons.
OK Robin, I'm obviously not a guy, but I have a suggestion, don't know how you feel about it... ever try porn? I know some women are super against it, but if you have to get him in the mood maybe it'll help...
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well, I'm not trying to BD right now, but I agree with MorpheusOB. Also, I dont know if it would be possible or not, but maybe not make a big deal out of "baby making sex"- that is, just treat it like normal. Probably impossible, but a thought.
-=\Eric/=-
__________________ EricSoulHubby (32) Moderator, Hubbies/BFs, Chatroom
DW, Goddess & Love of my Life Aimee - CTCyster (30)
DD Eleanor Alexandra - born 3 mo preemie, 1/31/04
We're PG with #2! EDD 09-DEC-05
(I know that I posted this on another thread, but I though it fit in here, too.)
Find out wht your DH did during those 15 years. Was his sex drive as low then? Did he use porn, etc.? Sometimes the porn can be the problem, either because he is used to looking at other kinds of women, or maybe he is used to being alone, or his own...umm..touch and technique?
Some suggestions, if you or he think it is porn related...have him try BBW porn, if he hasn't already. That may get him used to looking at chubby girls; and try masturbating together and slowly incorporate your touch with his. (Sorry if this is blunt, I don't know if there are any acronym for some of this stuff ).
Since I'm trying to sound like a sex columnist, hears a quote from a real one, Dan Savage: (again, sorry for the bluntness)
"One potential pitfall of youthful masturbation, however, is habituating yourself to a particular kind of stimulation. If you masturbate in the exact same way every time, or if you hold your c-ck in a death grip every time, you may find it difficult to climax as the result of other, more subtle sensations. So don't grip yourself too firmly, and don't masturbate by humping the same scratchy bit of your mattress over and over again. Make an effort to vary your style, and you'll make an easier transition from your own right hand to the less intense, more subtle, and infinitely more pleasurable sensations provided in your true love's tw-t, throat, and tush."
__________________ Tom (29)
DW Rachel (24)
TTC #1
Last edited by MorpheusOB; 06-03-2002 at 06:03 PM.
Sensitive TTC issue: performance anxiety? 
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