Sex hurts - but only the second time around?

ttara123 · 02-06-2007, 02:24 PM

I was wondering if any of you guys have this problem...when my BF and I have sex, I can do it the first time around and be fine. Nothing hurts, everything works well, etc. But then if we try to do it again within the next couple hours, I can't for very long. I feel bad - we always try to do it, but it never works and I always have to stop very soon. It's not really an internal hurting, it's like irritation and burning around the outside of my vagina, and juusst inside. This weekend it got so bad that I stopped and ran into the bathroom to use my Preparation H wipes! (my generic ones say that they're for vaginal care too?) It helped, but only a little bit - and I don't know if it's because of the witchhazel and aloe that was on them, or just the cool/wet sensation. We've tried using lube but that doesn't seem to make a difference. We also tried switching condoms because I thought maybe something about me didn't agree with that particular brand or something, but that didn't make a difference either.

This isn't the biggest problem in the world, and I know there might not be a solution. But I was just wondering if anyone else has this problem or knows how to "fix" it?

Solnyshko · 02-07-2007, 02:36 AM

Not that I have an answer, but I thought I'd share anyway. I used to get burning sensations after (sometimes during) having sex when BF (at the time) was wearing condoms with spermicide, so once I realized that it was the problem, the burning hasn't been back since. I'm not sure what can be the problem in your case but I would try calling a doctor or a nurse practitioner at least and consult with them. Good luck.

sms79 · 02-07-2007, 11:40 PM

I definitely though it was just me... but I have the same problem! The first time is always great, but I need at least a couple hours before I can go again. Sometimes it's an irritation, and sometimes I'm just very tender - almost swollen???? Whenever other people talk about being able to have multiple orgasms I am always amazed, because I am never able to. It's too painful!

catsnack · 02-08-2007, 12:20 AM

Yeah, sometimes it doesn't even take the second time, that happens to me if the first time has kind of gone on for a while.... then I'm pretty much done for the night as well

Not sure if you tried this or not, but you can get polyurthane (sp?) condoms as well. I think the ones I'm thinking of are called Avanti or something like that. They're good for people with latex sensitivities.

sms79 · 02-08-2007, 12:23 AM

Is it because of a latex allergy? Could it be anything else because it happens even when there's not a condom.

mlbarry · 02-08-2007, 01:14 AM

I would also try some lubricant. Maybe a little extra moisture would help

ttara123 · 02-08-2007, 02:11 AM

We've definitely tried lubricant, but it doesn't work. I'll try Avanti condoms, I'd never heard of them before! sms79 - you said it very well! I'm "tender." Sometimes I can go a second time for just a couple minutes and then BAM it hits me and it hurts. Sometimes I can still get another O in, but he never does in time before I start hurting and pull away and run to the bathroom for a cold rag or something lol

BeetleGirl · 02-08-2007, 03:07 AM

I too suffer from this.
I wish my husband would understand when I try explaining why I am not up for it the second time.

Maybe I should get some sand paper and give him a hands on example.

Kotik82 · 02-08-2007, 01:37 PM

I had this problem too. Funny enough I used to ignore it and go on to at least let my ex finish (tried to be considerate). But I found that when I switched to Durex Xtra sensitive (being the thinnest condum) and Astroglide (insteaad of KY) it got better. Only problem is that I can't ever do it in water (ie: shower or tub) thats the biggest hurdle.)

Ladymagi · 02-08-2007, 02:00 PM

This is just a thought - but my sisterinlaw has this problem too and it is the bacteria from the first sex encounter. You might ask your gyno to be sure but you might just be sensitive to bacteria's. Or as they said above it could be a latex allergy. I would definately bring it up to my gyno.
Hope this helps

gina_ree · 02-11-2007, 01:27 PM

I deal with this if I'm not lubricated enough or if it's been a while. I get that irritated, swollen feeling. Not fun.

tarita_maria · 02-11-2007, 02:51 PM

I have the same problem! (I thought I was the only one.) But yeah, I always get a burning, irritated feeling in two scenarios. The first is when we go at it too long. After about a half hour or so I just get so tender I can't go on. Its kinda like friction burn. The second is when we try to have sex in too short of intervals. I can usually handle going again after about two hours, but anything sooner burns. I don't know why. Its not like we do things rough (at least not all the time), its just uncomfortable. My DH and I currently do not use condoms, but did in the past and they ALWAYS irritated me. We never did find one that I liked. I also find that when we have sex in the morning, I feel "icky" throughout the day. Don't get me wrong, I love morning sex, but it leaves me with some discomfort all day.

What I have found, that works best for me, is right after sex to wash up in water as hot as I can stand it. I have no idea why this soothes me so much better than cold water, maybe someone out there knows the answer. Although it helps to make the burning/irritation go away, I am usually still a little too tender to go again so soon. My gyno said that it helps to pee right after sex, because peeing flushes out much of the bacteria that may have made it into/around your urethra. I have done this consistently since she mentioned it and it has helped a little.

On a side note, I would like to recommend the lubricant 'Astroglide' to my cysters. I think you guys should give it a try. It was developed by NASA to help astronauts get into their spacesuits. It is light and water-based; the closest thing to natural I have found. Everything else seems thick and oily in comparison, which seemed to irritate me.

Kotik82 · 02-18-2007, 10:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tarita_maria

I have the same problem! (I thought I was the only one.) But yeah, I always get a burning, irritated feeling in two scenarios. The first is when we go at it too long. After about a half hour or so I just get so tender I can't go on. Its kinda like friction burn. The second is when we try to have sex in too short of intervals. I can usually handle going again after about two hours, but anything sooner burns. I don't know why. Its not like we do things rough (at least not all the time), its just uncomfortable. My DH and I currently do not use condoms, but did in the past and they ALWAYS irritated me. We never did find one that I liked. I also find that when we have sex in the morning, I feel "icky" throughout the day. Don't get me wrong, I love morning sex, but it leaves me with some discomfort all day.

What I have found, that works best for me, is right after sex to wash up in water as hot as I can stand it. I have no idea why this soothes me so much better than cold water, maybe someone out there knows the answer. Although it helps to make the burning/irritation go away, I am usually still a little too tender to go again so soon. My gyno said that it helps to pee right after sex, because peeing flushes out much of the bacteria that may have made it into/around your urethra. I have done this consistently since she mentioned it and it has helped a little.

On a side note, I would like to recommend the lubricant 'Astroglide' to my cysters. I think you guys should give it a try. It was developed by NASA to help astronauts get into their spacesuits. It is light and water-based; the closest thing to natural I have found. Everything else seems thick and oily in comparison, which seemed to irritate me.

Astroglide is a hell of alot better than the usual KY!!!!! KY turns yucky in a matter of minutes when applied!

MargyP · 02-19-2007, 02:22 AM

I had this problem when i used condoms as well. It turned out I was sensitive to Nonoxynal 9. Once I started using condoms w/o N9 & started using lube (water-based) things usually were fine for a second go. N9 has also been linked to increased yeast infections & BV. You could also try different positions & see if that helps.

As for the wipes, I don't know about aloe, but I can't see witch hazel making this problem worse. I use plain witch hazel on my va-jj (externally only) all the time. It's super cheap, helps with any swelling, & I think it cleanses without being too drying or messing with my pH etc. But I could be wrong.

october_sky · 02-19-2007, 03:12 AM

How about trying oral sex instead of vaginal sex? In Cosmo there was an article about this awhile ago and it said the vaginal muscles need time to relax after something in there. The article said that oral sex or using hands should relieve it. This used to happen to me all the time but then after doing oral intead of vaginal the second time it was no longer a problem.