Hi, I am so sorry if this is in the wrong category.. there are just so many, and a few things I wanted to address and ask questions about, and Im sort of confused where I should place this message...
I have begun to loose weight, my two main goals are health and (hopefully) pregnancy, I really want a child, and have for the past 4 years now. I've never tried to conceive, mainly because Im worried about the quality of life he or she would have. I already have such a hard time going outside now, and only do when its absolutely necessary.. I am dark haired with darker skin (I have french and native american in me), and can grow a full beard (not talking about a few hairs on my chin, I mean, a real mans beard...) and it is completely noticeable. Also it certainly is not the only place I have a noticbly excessive amount of hair.. but the face is what I am most bothered by. There isnt anything I have not tried, creams, razors, waxing, electrolysis. Funny thing is, if I switch to a new razor brand, it works awesome for the first few times I use it and then it starts cutting and such... and I mean the expensive ones, and I always use a new one for each shave. Creams either give me a horrid rash or just remove the hair like a shave.. the "stubbles" can be seen. Waxing? Yeah right. I've had enough of letting my entire beard grow out so I can have some comfort and look like a "normal" woman for 2 weeks.. and then right back to where I started. Plus the prices are to much for twice a month. Tried electrolysis... it was a nightmare, and, it was not effective for me, at all. I wasted more money than I'd like to think about. Last resort would be laser and I cant afford that anyway. Basically, my face is a nightmare, so I stay in as much as I can.. and I hate it. This brings me to having children... I envy all the moms I see taking their kids for walks in their strollers, bringing them to the park and chatting with other moms.. these women really dont have a clue how good they have it. They take for granted that they can just hop out of bed and GO, whereas I and a lot of other people with this condition have to spend hours to rid ourselves of our ugly facial hair... "hoping" it wont be so noticeable. So anyways, I've always worried about those things... having to go out. I can't keep my child inside, thats so unhealthy, besides I *want* to go outside. I want to do all of those things, but feel so self conscious. And then what about when she or grows up? There are school events, parent teacher meetings, her or his friends parents to "deal" with (and I hate having to think of it as "dealing" with, but the reality is, I have felt so self conscious for so many years it has kept me from having any kind of relationship with other people besides a few family members). And ofcourse you know some kids in the school are bound to ask my child why his or her mom has a beard. Theres also that scary chance of my daughter getting this rotten disease too. Something I would'nt wish on anyone.
I hate that we have to worry about this at all. I've read stories people wrote saying how it doesnt matter... but it does matter, otherwise we would'nt spend so much time, energy and money into all of these products to remove it. I wish the world wasnt so obsessed with appearance, if that were the case life would be so much easier for us.
I guess Im wondering if anyone has given up, and just said "screw it." And stopped worrying about their facial hair? I am SO tired of living like this, but living in the world we do, Im just not brave enough to do that...
Hi, I am so sorry if this is in the wrong category.. there are just so many, and a few things I wanted to address and ask questions about, and Im sort of confused where I should place this message...
I have begun to loose weight, my two main goals are health and (hopefully) pregnancy, I really want a child, and have for the past 4 years now. I've never tried to conceive, mainly because Im worried about the quality of life he or she would have. I already have such a hard time going outside now, and only do when its absolutely necessary.. I am dark haired with darker skin (I have french and native american in me), and can grow a full beard (not talking about a few hairs on my chin, I mean, a real mans beard...) and it is completely noticeable. Also it certainly is not the only place I have a noticbly excessive amount of hair.. but the face is what I am most bothered by. There isnt anything I have not tried, creams, razors, waxing, electrolysis. Funny thing is, if I switch to a new razor brand, it works awesome for the first few times I use it and then it starts cutting and such... and I mean the expensive ones, and I always use a new one for each shave. Creams either give me a horrid rash or just remove the hair like a shave.. the "stubbles" can be seen. Waxing? Yeah right. I've had enough of letting my entire beard grow out so I can have some comfort and look like a "normal" woman for 2 weeks.. and then right back to where I started. Plus the prices are to much for twice a month. Tried electrolysis... it was a nightmare, and, it was not effective for me, at all. I wasted more money than I'd like to think about. Last resort would be laser and I cant afford that anyway. Basically, my face is a nightmare, so I stay in as much as I can.. and I hate it. This brings me to having children... I envy all the moms I see taking their kids for walks in their strollers, bringing them to the park and chatting with other moms.. these women really dont have a clue how good they have it. They take for granted that they can just hop out of bed and GO, whereas I and a lot of other people with this condition have to spend hours to rid ourselves of our ugly facial hair... "hoping" it wont be so noticeable. So anyways, I've always worried about those things... having to go out. I can't keep my child inside, thats so unhealthy, besides I *want* to go outside. I want to do all of those things, but feel so self conscious. And then what about when she or grows up? There are school events, parent teacher meetings, her or his friends parents to "deal" with (and I hate having to think of it as "dealing" with, but the reality is, I have felt so self conscious for so many years it has kept me from having any kind of relationship with other people besides a few family members). And ofcourse you know some kids in the school are bound to ask my child why his or her mom has a beard. Theres also that scary chance of my daughter getting this rotten disease too. Something I would'nt wish on anyone.
I hate that we have to worry about this at all. I've read stories people wrote saying how it doesnt matter... but it does matter, otherwise we would'nt spend so much time, energy and money into all of these products to remove it. I wish the world wasnt so obsessed with appearance, if that were the case life would be so much easier for us.
I guess Im wondering if anyone has given up, and just said "screw it." And stopped worrying about their facial hair? I am SO tired of living like this, but living in the world we do, Im just not brave enough to do that...
OK, this is the right place for your posting. And I certainly know just what it is to be a mom who shaves every day.
The good news is that it's not the end of the world. My advice is to concentrate on having a family without worrying about how the problem of having to shave male-type beard growth will affect you as a mom.
Having said that, though, I understand how you feel. As far as I'm concerned, this is how I've dealt with it.
I've got full male-type moustache growth that I've been shaving since I was 13 and every day since I was 15. And once I passed 40 my beard began to grow in in earnest and I've got male-type beard growth on all over my chin area, though my sideburns and lower cheeks are probably less heavy growth than most males would have. All in all, though, definitely as heavy as many males and almost as heavy as my dh's beard growth.
I use a Philips Norelco rechargeable men's-type razor and shave every morning.
I've never hidden the fact from my kids. They know I've male-type beard growth. They know I shave and they often see me shaving.
We've always explained that most men have to shave or they'd grow a beard and that most women have less hair than men do on their face, but most women remove some hair from their face occasionally. We've explained that some women have to take it off more often, but most women don't like to talk about that. In my case, mom has to shave every day, just like dad or I'd have a beard too.
So there's no guilty secret. Nothing that I'm hiding from them. They know precisely the extent of my beard growth and that it's not the sort of thing that they talk about outside the home, but it's OK to talk about it inside our home. We always refer to my "moustache" and my "beard" -- never to euphemisms like "facial hair" etc.
In our house it's simply normal for us that both dad and mom shave every morning. And again if we're going out in the evening. The older kids may even remind me that I'll need to shave if I'm going out in the evening.
For me, the men's-type electric razor is very liberating -- I know when I go out in the morning that nothing's showing and that nothing will show until early evening. And the fact that DH and our kids accept my moustache and beard growth even helps bind us together as a family unit.
I've kind of accepted that all i can do is sheave every day and that it might still be noticeable, and if anyone asks me about it i'll briefly explain pcos and not let myself catastrophize the situation (it's not like we're missing limbs or have parts of our face missing). But it is hard to keep it in perspective and it does suck.
I agree with everyone. You cant stay in the house forever!
Get out! Go to a park and smell the fresh air! We PcOS women are everywhere!
You have to continue your life! Shave every day maybe twice a day and move on with your life! I do!
PS. you are not the only one with a full mans beard! Many of us do too.
I agree with everyone. You cant stay in the house forever!
Get out! Go to a park and smell the fresh air! We PcOS women are everywhere!
You have to continue your life! Shave every day maybe twice a day and move on with your life! I do!
PS. you are not the only one with a full mans beard! Many of us do too.
Well said!
What I've found is that the problem is not the fact of having the same sort of moustache and beard growth as men do, but rather letting it get one down.
There are a lot of us here with that sort of moustache and beard growth -- it's clearly not all that rare.
It took my (now) DH to convince me that it was OK that I needed to shave and that he wasn't embarrassed about it or put off by it. We eventually decided to tell a few of the male friends who sometimes stay overnight with us about the fact that I shave. I wondered how they'd take it -- whether it would spoil my relationship with them or they'd think I'm a dreadful freak. Without exception they've been very nice about it. They were interested and they asked questions. They'll mention it occasionally. But it certainly hasn't spoiled my relationship with any of them. They're "in" on it in the same way as the family are and they sometimes see me unshaven in the same way as the family do.
It really doesn't need to spoil your life. Don't let it spoil your life! Get a decent rechargeable men's-type electric razor, shave in the morning and again in the early evening if you need to -- and get on with life.
A question about the electric razor, does it give a close shave? I've always thought the disposables do, but trying to use them daily is pointless. It doesn't remove my stubbles if I just shaved the day before, all they do is cut and Im not using cheap ones.
A question about the electric razor, does it give a close shave?
Some do, some don't. And your skin always takes a few weeks to get used to a new method of hair removal.
Quote:
I've always thought the disposables do, but trying to use them daily is pointless. It doesn't remove my stubbles if I just shaved the day before, all they do is cut and Im not using cheap ones.
My Philips Norelco (men's-type) rechargeable certainly isn't like that. I shave in the morning and if I'm not going out to something in the evening I won't shave again until the next day. And next day it'll shave me so close that my skin is completely smooth. If we're going out in the evening I'll shave again before going out, to make absolutely certain that there's no roughness evident. Men's-type electric razors work best on very short stubble -- that's what they're designed for. And that's what many of us who have PCOS have -- the same sort of beard growth as most men have.
Shaving as a mom? 
