Well, I have been reading this thread from the beginning too but haven't posted because I can't understand why you are not getting that she doesn't want you. We don't know her side of the story and only getting one view on the whole 3 year relationship we can't really give you an objective view/advice on what you should do. The thing is you are going to do what you are doing no matter what we say. You said you are going let her go and you finally realize that is what you need to do. So, I don't understand why you are still bothering her... that may not be the correct word. If you are going to let her go then do that. Move on.. don't worry about what you did wrong or what she did wrong or how you can fix that relationship or if you can be friends now. Just move on...from what I have read here it seems like she wants you to just break up with her and leave her alone, she just doesn't want to be the one to do it.
Also, this is the husbands/boyfriends section. I asked my DH to join and read posts here thinking he will better understand what I am going through. I also saw this section as a way for him to talk to other husbands dealing with a crazy PCOS woman. He has always been supportive but there is just so much I can tell him about how I am feeling etc. In no way did I think he would be attacked by putting his advice/insight in here. If Aaron wants a shoulder to cry on maybe he should go to another section of this site. There are plenty of advice posts and other places you can go to cry on a shoulder. I do not think we should bother the guys or attack them for speaking their mind. I thought this section was for them to be able to talk to someone that is in the same boat having a gf/dw with pcos and how to deal with it. Not helping someone that is stalking their ex girlfriend. Plus if I were her and saw the post my ex made I would want to be as far away as possible ... sounds like you are doing everything to run her off not bring her closer to you. Of course, just my opinion... so back to the post "I think we should just leave them alone" Maybe we should follow that advice.
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nikbee and hubby:
I wasn't trying to attack you at all. I just wondered whether or not you guys have ever felt loss or not and how people treated you... Also, if you dont' want to be attacked, don't attack people. You two have posted some fairly harsh words in here.
I apologize for what I said earlier, I wasn't trying to attack you. I also am new to the board and didn't know that women weren't supposed to post in here. (check out all the posts by women...not just me) Had I known that, I would have left it alone. From now on -- it's all yours...
__________________ Melisa (22) and DH Nate (22)
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"ive been there, done that, watered down my glass of scotch with futile tears. took someone close to me to figuratively slap the teeth out of my mouth to realize i was acting like an idiot, embarassing myself, and keeping myself from being happy. im not being rude or cold, im being pragmatic. its not your heart that hurts so much anymore, its your pride. accept it and move on. the PP was right, you will do better... get off the pity pot and seek elsewhere." posted by nikbeehubby
I could not figure out how to quote a pp... but the above answers your question. We have all been there and we are not trying to be rude or uncaring because we have been there but most guys are not interested in giving a long drawn out answer to everything... we are getting off the subject here but all we are saying is that this is a site for PCOS and how to deal with it and getting support for it...
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I could not figure out how to quote a pp... but the above answers your question. We have all been there and we are not trying to be rude or uncaring because we have been there but most guys are not interested in giving a long drawn out answer to everything... we are getting off the subject here but all we are saying is that this is a site for PCOS and how to deal with it and getting support for it...
I see your point, now. And I agree with you, this is about dealing with PCOS. Maybe we could just use more tactful words? (the earlier parts of the post were less than tactful)
__________________ Melisa (22) and DH Nate (22)
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I see your point, now. And I agree with you, this is about dealing with PCOS. Maybe we could just use more tactful words? (the earlier parts of the post were less than tactful)
ill take the hit for the tact, or perceived lack thereof. the whole point to what i was saying is that this is the guys corner of the site. if you want advice sugar coated and dripping with sentimentality scripted right from the oprah show then this isnt the best part of the site to find it. by posting in the guys corner its logical to assume its a guys perspective the feedback was sought after.
i wasnt tactless, cold, mean, or anything else. i was blunt, straightforward and man to man. its how we talk to each other. especially when one of us is acting like a five year old little girl. i have said the same things in much more brutal language face to face to my buddies and have the same brutal language used at me when justified.
i'd buy this poor chap a beer and share a drink or three with him provided he didnt start snivelling about whats.her.name. im human too, hey, sh** happens, and it hurts like hell when it does, but thats life. i think everyone has in their past that one person that ripped their guts out and stomped on their heart. i cried in my beer too but enough is enough. grab your huevos and be a man.
i dont know, ive been reading this thread since its beginning and since day one have been trying to come up with a response that doesnt make me sound like a total a$$ but dude.... its over, give it up, move on, quit whining about it, does she have to draw you a picture?
blame it on pcos, blame it on the moon, blame it on whatever, it doesnt matter. please shut the hell up and move on. i really do hate to seem cold and uncaring as thats not really my intent. this husband/boyfriend section of the site i do not think was intended for you to wallow in your self-pity and drag all of us into the emotional pain your are subjecting yourself to. if all you want are the female pats on the back and hugs telling you all will be okay then find the other areas of this site to solict that. youre in the one little corner thats allocated to us guys so ill talk to you like one. shut up and be a man. its over, deal with it, and move on.
ive been there, done that, watered down my glass of scotch with futile tears. took someone close to me to figuratively slap the teeth out of my mouth to realize i was acting like an idiot, embarassing myself, and keeping myself from being happy. im not being rude or cold, im being pragmatic. its not your heart that hurts so much anymore, its your pride. accept it and move on. the PP was right, you will do better... get off the pity pot and seek elsewhere.
"bear
LOL@blame the moon!! thank you for saying what you said I think hearing it from a man will do him some good
Do elaborate! I disagree but I am open to be proven wrong. (No I am not throwing down any gauntlets - I don't even know what a gauntlet looks like).
BTW like Nikbeehubby, I've been following this thread and while I agree with his advice; like melon-ade I felt it was a little premature. I've seen people take different amounts of time getting over their loss or break-up. A month or so may not be a whole lot of time to come to grips with it. JMHO.
BTW like Nikbeehubby, I've been following this thread and while I agree with his advice; like melon-ade I felt it was a little premature. I've seen people take different amounts of time getting over their loss or break-up. A month or so may not be a whole lot of time to come to grips with it. JMHO.
I have friends that its been years since a break-up and they never got over it. Now that could be obssession, idk, but that's what they told me and they seriously haven't dated another person.
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Total cynic that I am, I think this whole thread was a means of manipulation for Aron to try to get his ex to come back to him. Everything we have read has been thought out and calculated. Yes, he says, he is giving her space... but there ARE financial issues to be discussed. Riiigght. What he doesn't tell us is HOW MANY phone calls and emails and the like he is sending. It just seems to me, like he can't stand not to have the last word. Like he said, he'll have a conversation with her, she obviously disagrees with something he's said, so then he'll email her AGAIN so that she can try to understand how right he is?? Come on.
Then there's the fact that he's posting here. What the hell does a break up have to do with PCOS? The implication I am getting is that somehow he seems to think that women with PCOS can't make rational decisions about who they do and don't want to be with. What crap! Just because we have this illness does not affect our decision making ability one iota. If she'd been healthy what would he have blamed it on? PMS? Toughen up princess. There is one reason she made the decision to leave... and it was because she didn't want to be with you.
Why isn't he whining to his own support group for men with anger issues? I don't doubt one of the guys there would have pulled his controlling behaviour into line a helluva lot sooner. He is posting here, as another way to make his presence known to her. To try and make people who associate with her think he's such a nice guy and hurting so much. Bollocks. I think the biggest thing that is hurt is his pride.
If the poor girl is reading this, then I hope she knows how impressed I am that she hasn't been cornered into a slinging match with him here. I am glad that she has stuck to her guns. I hope she is finding happiness in her new found freedom.
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Total cynic that I am, I think this whole thread was a means of manipulation for Aron to try to get his ex to come back to him. Everything we have read has been thought out and calculated. Yes, he says, he is giving her space... but there ARE financial issues to be discussed. Riiigght. What he doesn't tell us is HOW MANY phone calls and emails and the like he is sending. It just seems to me, like he can't stand not to have the last word. Like he said, he'll have a conversation with her, she obviously disagrees with something he's said, so then he'll email her AGAIN so that she can try to understand how right he is?? Come on.
Then there's the fact that he's posting here. What the hell does a break up have to do with PCOS? The implication I am getting is that somehow he seems to think that women with PCOS can't make rational decisions about who they do and don't want to be with. What crap! Just because we have this illness does not affect our decision making ability one iota. If she'd been healthy what would he have blamed it on? PMS? Toughen up princess. There is one reason she made the decision to leave... and it was because she didn't want to be with you.
Why isn't he whining to his own support group for men with anger issues? I don't doubt one of the guys there would have pulled his controlling behaviour into line a helluva lot sooner. He is posting here, as another way to make his presence known to her. To try and make people who associate with her think he's such a nice guy and hurting so much. Bollocks. I think the biggest thing that is hurt is his pride.
If the poor girl is reading this, then I hope she knows how impressed I am that she hasn't been cornered into a slinging match with him here. I am glad that she has stuck to her guns. I hope she is finding happiness in her new found freedom.
LackyBand,
I am kinda thinking like you about the manipulation thingie.... and I do have a BIG problem with the controlling behavior too
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Wow someone finally agrees with what we have been saying the entire time. That is nice to hear! I do absolutely agree with the manipulation idea also. If he weren't try to manipulate, he would not be posting here where she could possibly see what he is saying and feel sorry for him or whatever he is wanting her to feel. If he was just really and truly in love with her he would have let her go because it should be obvious that is what she wants. I also think it could be a control issue. Now that this thread has turned more into telling him he needs to get over it, I find it funny he hasn't posted in a while.
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Wow someone finally agrees with what we have been saying the entire time. That is nice to hear! I do absolutely agree with the manipulation idea also. If he weren't try to manipulate, he would not be posting here where she could possibly see what he is saying and feel sorry for him or whatever he is wanting her to feel. If he was just really and truly in love with her he would have let her go because it should be obvious that is what she wants. I also think it could be a control issue. Now that this thread has turned more into telling him he needs to get over it, I find it funny he hasn't posted in a while.
nikbee, I find that funny too
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ha ha, I have very smart cysters I too have been reading this thread since the start and I saw right through the manipulation....trying to control this woman when she clearly just wanted to break away from the relationship. Who cares why she wants out, she just wants out and has a right to.
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I too have been reading this thread since the start and I saw right through the manipulation....trying to control this woman when she clearly just wanted to break away from the relationship. Who cares why she wants out, she just wants out and has a right to.
