Should I Come With A Warning Label?

Tired · 09-16-2007, 06:00 AM

Okay,

It has been time and a half since I've posted, but this thought keeps going throuh my mind...

"Should I just come with a frickin' warning label" ????

I've been thinking about my relationships, not only friends, but relatives, events and so on. Also the lack of a boyfriend. Well...have one..but that is complicated sorta. Sigh...long story aside...

I always feel like I spend most of my time with people anywhere explaining why I can't eat certain foods they provide (even though they insist it is good for me....*rolls eyes*), why I prefer to stay quiet and to myself some days, why I get angry all of the sudden sometimes, and why I feel like I've been run over with a train other days.

And....with intimate relationships, I've never dated and I'm always thinking...."don't say it kid...don't tell him that you hate the fact that you have a bit of fuzz on your upper lip...it isn't attractive..." but then the other part of me says "but if we get serious..he'll need to know why, in case something bad happens and all that and I need to explain why I feel the way I do and why..."

So here's the thing. Being an almost 23 year old young woman (9 days to the ol' b-day) I want to know if I should just slap a warning label on my chest so I can stop having to explain why I can't eat burgers all the time with my friends just for fun, and why some days I would rather stay in with a book and be alone all day, and why other times my sides feel as if all the cysts ever made in the world are ALL POPPING in MY OVARIES. Sigh...what do you do? Sooner or later, if things get serious or you constantly see the same people...you need to let them know...in case something health-wise happens or in order to keep from doing something you shouldn't with the health problems I have....I don't know...

Anyone know where I can get a really good piece of paper to tape to myself for the warning label? Seems so much easier than reiterating every single day to every single person all my health problems. (The pity can get VERY annoying most times).

Paulalouise · 09-16-2007, 07:06 AM

You know I meet women all the time who very purposefully live on lettuce and I never see them having to explain themselves. Why should you have to, I ask you?

Men are a different species entirely, they really are from another planet and when they meet a woman they're surely not thinking the same things we are. They have no interest in our emotional woes, our complicated thoughts or our insecurities. They're out for fun, they want to date confident women who don't care to explain themselves - they want sex... That's just men.

Later when you meet Mr. Right and his brain is fogged with romantic leanings, you have a few months to a year window for him to listen to your inner concerns before he wises up and returns to being a guy LOL I'm very lucky because my DH is still listening years later.

You don't need a danger sign - all you need to do is to decide that you are who you are, take it or leave it, and certainly don't explain it.

Got fuzz on your upper lip? wax it. Hairy legs? shave em. Carrying extra weight? Buy a kick ass bustier or deliriously sexy corset and flaunt it.

Go get em!

Paula

Spin · 09-16-2007, 10:59 AM

A few thoughts...

- Acceptance & Self Love -

This doesn't mean giving up on being healthy (good diet, good exercises, good weight) but it does mean you need to accept who you are. You happen to be a women with PCOS. The only person making this a complex fact in regards to your relationships (friendships and romantic relationships) is you. No one is perfect. Your concern's over the hair on your lip is no different from some of the body concerns a skinny girl or a girl without PCOS might have. My husband obsesses over his teeny tiny belly (just hilarious considering he's got the body of a god with a slight gut). When I told him that the hair on my upper lip was one of my PCOS symptoms he said, "What hair?"

Everyone has issues. Time to get over it and live your life. Do what you can to be healthy and make sure you only allow good people in your life. You'll make mistakes in this regard. We all do. Learn from it and move on.

- Warning Labels -

This is going to come out a bit harsh. Consider that its said in support of you (and what I think is best for you.)

F that! You do not need a warning label. If someone can't handle who you are - and I mean all of you - the good, the bad, the PCOS - screw them!!! They need the warning label for you to avoid them!

When you are in a serious relationship, yes, you will need to have the PCOS talk so they can understand what it means to you and what it might mean to them (if you want to have kids, etc.) But you will have time to explain that and if it doesn't feel natural to have that conversation chances are there is a problem in the relationship anyways.

Hope this helps.

ScreamingBeauty · 09-16-2007, 02:17 PM

You don't have to explain yourself to anyone! So you can't eat certain things and ur sick of friends tryna force it on you. ust say, i don't like that and tell them to leave u alone. As someone with type 1 and 2 diabetes since i was 9 i learned how to do it very well without telling people my business. because i'm with you, i don't want the pity!

A warning sign is a way to stay single forever hun. You don't need that. You just need to believe in yourself and know that you are a wonderful person and beautiful. when you've been with the right person for a few months then tell them. if you have any kind of medical emergency your family should know whats wrong with you. keep a card in your wallet if its such a huge concern. you can get them at any drugstore.

This disease sucks but what else can we do? You don't have to hate yourself or lay down and take it. Embrace what you have and always remember it could be worse. Not all is hopeless. Hold on. Just hold on.

Kittie · 09-16-2007, 09:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tired

Okay,

It has been time and a half since I've posted, but this thought keeps going throuh my mind...

"Should I just come with a frickin' warning label" ????

I've been thinking about my relationships, not only friends, but relatives, events and so on. Also the lack of a boyfriend. Well...have one..but that is complicated sorta. Sigh...long story aside...

I always feel like I spend most of my time with people anywhere explaining why I can't eat certain foods they provide (even though they insist it is good for me....*rolls eyes*), why I prefer to stay quiet and to myself some days, why I get angry all of the sudden sometimes, and why I feel like I've been run over with a train other days.

And....with intimate relationships, I've never dated and I'm always thinking...."don't say it kid...don't tell him that you hate the fact that you have a bit of fuzz on your upper lip...it isn't attractive..." but then the other part of me says "but if we get serious..he'll need to know why, in case something bad happens and all that and I need to explain why I feel the way I do and why..."

So here's the thing. Being an almost 23 year old young woman (9 days to the ol' b-day) I want to know if I should just slap a warning label on my chest so I can stop having to explain why I can't eat burgers all the time with my friends just for fun, and why some days I would rather stay in with a book and be alone all day, and why other times my sides feel as if all the cysts ever made in the world are ALL POPPING in MY OVARIES. Sigh...what do you do? Sooner or later, if things get serious or you constantly see the same people...you need to let them know...in case something health-wise happens or in order to keep from doing something you shouldn't with the health problems I have....I don't know...

Anyone know where I can get a really good piece of paper to tape to myself for the warning label? Seems so much easier than reiterating every single day to every single person all my health problems. (The pity can get VERY annoying most times).

Gosh, I could have written that. Sometimes I DO wish I had a big warning label on me, it would save me a lot of trouble! I'm so afraid that one day I'm going to meet that one great guy, everything is going perfect and I'll get that nagging feeling of "you should tell him what he is in for..." because it's getting serious, only to have him totally freak and think I've manipulated him to love me when I do tell him. Ah the joys. Darn insecurities get the better of me sometimes, I try and remain positive, some days are better than others. I just know he is out there somewhere, take me battle scars and all. When people I don't know comment of what I eat and why I dont indulge myself all the time I just say I am at risk of developing diabetes so I have to eat well. That usually suffices them.

KatCarney · 09-16-2007, 10:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kittie

I'll get that nagging feeling of "you should tell him what he is in for..." because it's getting serious, only to have him totally freak and think I've manipulated him to love me when I do tell him.

When you tell him what?!?! No woman, pcos or not, is guaranteed a baby, or perfect health. And when it comes to pcos, how does any woman 'know what she's in for', anyway?

Marriage vows are 'in sickness and in health'. Any man who would feel manipulated isn't marriage material.

Kittie · 09-17-2007, 01:54 AM

I know Kat, it's silly what my brain thinks sometimes. Sorry if I offended anyone. Just been feeling a little down today, getting tired of kissing frogs trying to find a prince out there. Chin up I guess!

Tired · 09-17-2007, 01:56 AM

Ah....

Insecurities. They do us all in. Even guys/men/princes/husbands...etc.

I know that if people don't like me with all their faults....then they are just buttheads. Trust me...I've let an entire church go just recently because they can't seem to get past the kid I was to look at the woman I've become...

I think the main thing is that I'm worried that I'll have to explain things and it seems to much easier just to explain it all right away. I agree with you Kat...if he thinks he's been roped into anything without consent...he's a meaniebutt.

(I'm keeping it clean

)

I thin kthe other thing is that well...I want people to realize that there needs to be more available at barebecues than just burgers and potato salad for some people. Apparently in my neck of the woods, no one is conscience of how hard it can be for myself (and my vegetarian/lactose intolerant sister - not by choice) to figure out things to eat this day and age.

I have an "online suitor" who is a darn sweetheart of a guy and says he doesn't care and is willing to help me lose weight....he knows about exercise and I have yet to keep a good regimen. He is helpful and very kind. I'm glad to have him in my life...and maybe as more than a suitor in the future..but anyway...I'm off track a bit..

I just want to be able to explain to people that they need to take things into account and help those of us who can't eat certain foods and the like. It would seem much easier to me to just slap on a label of what is wrong. For me it is more complicated....I say I'm at risk for type two diabetes and they keep asking questions....which I try to push away but it doesn't work. I'm a pushover sometimes. I just wish people could realize that some of us have a harder time. Heck....maybe I should just make a shirt with all my problems on it?

annem84 · 09-17-2007, 01:15 PM

I like the way you write--your words just flow together...

Anywho--I feel the same way as you do and I'm married for goodness sake. To me it is co-workers, new(er) aquaintances/friends, my boss, family members who have no idea what PCOS is or Metformin or any other PCOS drug out there. Somedays I am exactly like you--I should just slap a sign on my back and have that sign explain everything. I go out to eat and the waitresses know exactly what I will have down to what I like with my fries and it gets old. I had my gallbladder out and people dont understand that with the lack of that and PCOS--one cant just eat fried foods all the darn time or we pay for it an hour later. I've come to a conclusion that people like to ask questions--not to annoy us but maybe to learn (or vice versa...) Yes, I would love to know why/how cysts just happen to form on MY ovaries and not yours (i could share with ya, ya know) or why I have hair on places that shouldn't have hair or WHY I have so many darn insecurities--it is because half the time we dont even know what is happening to our own body so it makes it that much harder to explain it to somebody who knows nothing about PCOS.

And for intimate relationships--with Kyle--we had TMI had sex with the lights off for what seemed like eternity and I still dont like to have my body in full light, etc and he understands. A TRUE guy will understand. Kyle and I even have started to "joke" a little...like we shave our faces at the same time. Humor works for me some but it took a long time for me to face that he loves me for who I am--if he didn't, he wouldn't be with me. You should NOT have to change for a male body--if we had to change for them, we would have to change for everybody and that is just not how we should live our lives.

Manuita · 09-17-2007, 01:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paulalouise

You know I meet women all the time who very purposefully live on lettuce and I never see them having to explain themselves. Why should you have to, I ask you?

I totally agree! I also know people who pick some ingredients out of their food because they don't eat peas/tomatoes/carrots/mushrooms... whatever! (and I'm talking about close friends and relatives, so I happen to know that they actually don't like these ingredients) So, what I'm saying is some people are picky eaters and never have to explain themselves.

KatCarney · 09-17-2007, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tired

I just want to be able to explain to people that they need to take things into account and help those of us who can't eat certain foods and the like.

Do you have something else besides PCOS that strictly limits what you can eat? As a general rule, I'm unaware of any dietary needs of PCOS'ers that would necessitate the help of others when it comes to food choices.

I have friends with very severe, life threatening food allergies, and when eating out with them, they seem to manage fine. I also have relatives who are strict vegans...again...eating out is never an issue. No matter where we go out to eat, they find something that works with the way they eat.

bailey0979 · 09-17-2007, 02:58 PM

I don't eat with people who comment on my food. It's rude. I'll eat mine you eat yours, end of discussion.

Why oh why are you telling your insecurities to dates before they are boyfriends or serious relationships. Listen, they way you present yourself is the way you are seen.

************************************************** ***************
This is going to sound harsh, and I'm sorry but it needs to be said. so here

IF you go around presentiing yourself as a sad sack who sees nothing but the bad in herself, noone is going to see the good. Flaunt your best not your worst. If you problems are strictly cosmetic, they can be fixed. like a pp said, fuzzy lip, wax it.

Your friends may truly not understand why you are not eating the same things as them, but why bring PCOS into every aspect of your life?

Tell them thanks but no thanks, if they get weird, maybe reconsider why you are frineds. IF they cannot respect your choices, something is wrong there.

Family gatherings and barbecues can be easy. When you are invited, callthe person cooking, tell them that for health reason you cannot eat red meat, dairy, ect. and offer to bring an alternitive. then ask if they would mind preparing it for you. If they do ask if you can prepare it on their grill. I have never once seen this turned down ( since they are cooking anyway and don't have to buy the additional food.) My parents did this when they were loosing weight and had to go to Rotary dinners.

Granted my PCOS simptoms are mostly internal, but I don't understand the "I have PCOS therefore I must lay down and die" mentality.

KatCarney · 09-17-2007, 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kittie

I know Kat, it's silly what my brain thinks sometimes. Sorry if I offended anyone. Just been feeling a little down today, getting tired of kissing frogs trying to find a prince out there. Chin up I guess!

I don't think you offended anyone

Actually, I think part of your experience is related to your recent dramatic body changes. Everyone I know who has lost a lot of weight goes through a period of time that is quite hard to adjust to. It's the 'downside' of weight loss that no one ever prepares you for. CristyZ has written posts about this before...

sheepiegirl · 09-17-2007, 03:48 PM

What I was thinking, too, is that sometimes friends don't want to see their friends succeed in something because they're insecure. So your friends may want you to continue to eat burgers and fries and pizza with them so you DON'T end up changing and that's more comfortable to THEM, but it's not about them...

I don't eat red meat so I've gone to MANY BBQ's and brought my own veggie burger or chicken breast or salmon. People have all sorts of likes and dislikes when it comes to food, whether it's self imposed or thrown at us for medical reasons...Just ignore people--if they're your friends they're probably teasing you good naturedly, and if they aren't, then that's the problem right there.

KatCarney · 09-17-2007, 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sheepiegirl

What I was thinking, too, is that sometimes friends don't want to see their friends succeed in something because they're insecure. .

SOOOOOO true!