should I consider trying to get pregnant sooner?

ppfleiger · 03-02-2005, 07:02 PM

Hi,

I am 27 and recently diagnosed with PCOS. I am fairly thin (5'4" and 125 - used to be about 105) and was told for years that I had irregular periods because "I was so athletic and thin". Some doctor years ago put me on BC pills because I went for months without periods, and it took until now for me to finally get a doctor who could put the pieces together to diagnose the random symptoms of PCOS. (I get the feeling this is a common story..)

Anyway my question is - having discovered that I have PCOS has thrown me into a complete loop about when to try to have kids. Prior to finding out I had PCOS, my husband and I planned to wait another few years before tackling the kids issue because of financial reasons, and we both enjoy our young, childless life. 30 seemed like an ok age. Now my mother, in her never-ending grandchild crusade has started warning me that because I have PCOS, I should start trying to have children pronto because it will be difficult for me (i.e. fertility issues, high miscarriage probability, etc) later. To make her point, my mother points out that my two aunts had many miscarriages and never did had children, and had they only started younger... (family now realizes that both my aunts and my grandmother almost certainly had PCOS - all has Diabetes later in life, all had major pregnancy issues).

My doctor dismissed the question when I asked (I think I got a "don't worry about it") and I have reason to distrust my mothers motives as purely altruistic (She's made it clear before she's feeling "left behind by her other friends who are grandmothers already".. yeesh)

So.. should I consider trying to get pregnant sooner? or is my mother just getting more creative in her child pressure? My aunts are in their 60s so fertility clinics were not as advanced as they are today - in fact, I think just knowing the cause is a huge advantage.

I'm sure this question has been asked before but I'll risk it and ask again - maybe some regulars can refer me to past threads..

PaintedDaisy · 03-02-2005, 07:25 PM

Wow, ppfleiger, your post really hit home! Except with me, the badgering didn't come from my mother but from my husband's mother.

The truth is, I don't think you should change your plans because of your new diagnosis. First off, you've been living with the assumption that you'll try in a few years and to change all that because of a label you've been given is absurd. I mean, you've had PCOS all along, so a diagnosis doesn't really change that. If you're going to have trouble conceiving, you'd have had trouble with or without the diagnosis. Not that downplays anything, I mean, knowing about PCOS is half the battle.

But the most important thing, I think is to keep in mind that not every woman with PCOS will have a lot of trouble conceiving. I really didn't. In addition, technology has really advanced and there's plenty of women here (go see the Mommy board!) who conceived on their first cycle of clomid. Of course overcomming infertility is difficult for a lot of PCOS women, but for some, not so much. So having PCOS is not a death sentence or means that you'll never have children. You may have to have assistance, you may not. But there are also millions of women who do NOT have PCOS and still need help. Other issues like higher miscarriage rate can be easily corrected by taking progesterone supplements in the first trimester. One or two pills a day of this necessary hormone will help reduce your risk to virtually that of non-PCOS women. So don't worry about that.

In the end, though, I think the very best thing you can do is use your diagnosis to make necessary changes in your lifestyle. Modifying your diet to reduce carbs, excercising, and possibly taking medication like metformin will really go a long way to improving your health. These changes will help normalize your testosterone and other hormones that make PCOS what it is. Sometimes it can take a year or two for these changes to work their magic, so waiting to conceive is probably also in your best interest.

In a few years, when you do decide to have children, you'll do so knowing that you're emotionally and physically ready to carry a child -- and I wouldn't change that for anybody, not even a mother who thinks she's long overdue for a grandchild!

Good luck to you!

georgiapeach · 03-02-2005, 07:34 PM

That's completely a personal decision that you have to make for you and your family. I know, FOR ME, had I known that it would be this hard and take me this long...I would have started trying a long time ago. But, again, that's just me.

You may not have as many problems as you think when you begin ttc and then again, you may. You just never know what the future holds for you.

I do wish you the best of luck whatever you decide.

ppfleiger · 03-02-2005, 07:52 PM

Thank for the opinions... I can't tell you how much it helps to hear what other people in the same situation think. wouldn't it all be easier if we had a crystal ball - ha!

sourdaisy I have to laugh because my MIL is a piece of work unto herself. I haven't even told her yet because (a) the women in my husband's family feel as though discussing health issues over the phone, at dinner, in public, etc is no biggie and I am a very private person (b) 'when' DH and I will have children used to be the nightly dinner topic until I made DH tell the in-laws to nix it (c) I think the woman would disown me if she thought I wasn't going to give them an heir. I over-state that a bit but it has been pointed out to my husband that as the oldest-son of the oldest son of the oldest son, etc he is expected to have not only children soonest - but to have a boy - like this is something you pick. oh my. family inheritance (grandfather actually, not DH) has seriously been threatened over this - I feel like the Marie Antoinette! Fortunately my husband is wonderfully supportive and we do the best to ignore our nutty families.

I may eventually tell my in-laws (they may find out from my family - the risk I take) but for now I think I'm going to sit on that news - if we do decide to have children and all works out ok, I think it would be better to avoid the contreversy in the first place.

Jashobeam · 03-02-2005, 10:03 PM

We decided not to tell anyone except immediate family that I had PCOS. It did finally leak out (read that Mom told, LOL) but I was 6 months PG by then. My great aunt I'm sure had PCOS and had diabetes and weight gain around the middle at a young age.

I'm pretty sure several of my cousins have PCOS, but only two have had fertility issues. My one cousin had her first at about age 40, and her second just 2 or 3 years later. She is thrilled, after TTC on and off for 20 years. I don't think she ever went for any fertility couseling or treatments, or if she even knew they were available. The other I think did seek help early, and had her son not long after.

I am very glad we didn't give in to family pressure (over 8 years of it) to TTC before we were mentally and financially stable enough for a child.