hi ladies
like about 4 months ago i met a wonderful man on the internet to my surprise he was from my city...we sent eachother our pictures.. BUT i send him my picture when i was 60 pounds lighter... and of course in the pic you cant tell of all the hair i have on my face... he desperately wants to meet me but i keep on telling him later on.... sometimes i just want to tell him my reason that i got fat and well i dont know if to tell him about that hair stuff:o please i need advice dont know what to do... i dont want him to get tired of waiting and he will stop talking to me
Hello!
I can completely understand how you feel, you've developed a good relationship with this person and now the fear has set in, but you must always be truthful, and if he cant accept it then he isnt worth it, your hair and your weight wont go away once you meet up, in a perfect world it shouldnt matter but if he is shocked he will use the fact that you werent truthful as an excuse, sorry if it sounds harsh i am on your side alot of good men havent got a problem and stand by yourside, i know that im very lucky
Good luck!
love
Star xx
Hey there.. I know what a tricky situation youre in. I say you be truthful with him about the weight, just as you would want him to be truthful about say, his hair on his head.. Just as you would like him to like you for the real you, you want to like him for the real him, right?
Now, the hair thing I think is a little different. I have a really bad case of the ugly pcos hairs, feh.. definately the worst of the symptoms for me. I can deal with the weight, I can deal with the acne or the cysts, etc.. but the hair on my face (loads of it) is the most embarassing. Generally speaking I dont tell the men I date until Im comfortable enough to have the conversation with them but before I really fall in love. It usually takes a few drinks in me, but I tell them that I have a medical condition that screws up my hormones and that I have thinner hair on top because of it and some (ha, what an understatement) hairs on my face as well.
Blackstar is right, the good ones will stick around, the bad ones dont. Think of it as a good little test
Hey, I am with them. You need to be truthful about it. Tell him about the weight b4 you meet. If he is mr. wonderful it will be alright. ANd you never know he may have a skelaton too.
If you shave and all that, you can wait a bit on the hair thing i think.
Let us know what you decide. Hugs dede
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trust for him is soooo important and i have been thinking of telling him about the weight cain but about the hair i didnt want to say nothing about that... i think that i will tell him about the weight.. i know this might sound dumb but im to scared/nervous to say about the hair...... cain i dont want to meet him then for him to get all freaked out cause of the hair!!!:o i know he is a very good man hes wonderful but im just sooo scared on how he will react
just incase i do tell him HOW DO I TELL HIM ABOUT THE HAIR????
what i have been telling him is that im not ready to meet him until maybe a year lol and he keeps on saying that he doesnt understand why that he wants to know the reason and i tell him that its something personal :o
the reason i say a year its cause im determined to loose the weight and even get lasered done.. im just so desperate right now
You just tell him the real reasons for it. It takes A LOT of courage, but I know you can do this. If you need to, do it online, if you guys IM or something. Get the PCOS fact sheet ready if he wants to read about it (one guy I met online really wanted to read about it when I told him. I told him in person but he did his research later by himself).
Tell him that you have a medical condition. This condition makes it (insert your problems here (possible fertility issues, cysts on your ovaries, AND you have some hormonal side effects such as some unwanted hair, etc)) and then back that up with some reassuring comments. Such as, "This is something that you are working with your doctors with", "approximately 7-10% of women have this", "this is the most common reason for infertility" and finally "this is a treatable condition".
Just one more thing hun.. dont wait that year to meet this man. You could be wasting an entire year of wonderful kisses, hugs and the possibility of a fantastic, loving relationship!! If hes the great man you think he is.. dont wait, close your eyes really tight and take the plunge!!
I agree. Tell him about PCOS. I tell many people I have it and they are very compassionate. If he is the man you think he could be he deserves the truth. Best of Luck to you!!!
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My 2 cents: be yourself. I'm a guy, and if I was him I would not expect you to tell me about hair without context... it would just surprise me if I don't know. For the day you guys meet, shave the obvious and make it a non issue. If you're fun, nice, smart, all these things that guys like, the rest won't be an issue. If it does come down to physical requirements, then you can talk to him about it and ask how he feels. Not sure I answered your question but that's the way I would expect a girl to be: fun, smart, and happy. Good luck and happy new year!
Im Glad you agree, i know how incredibly hard it can be to be up front and open about having PCOS along with all its annoying symptoms..the hair being one of the most!
I didnt have the courage to tell my partner about the hair problem for a long time, it caused alot of uncomfortable moments in the bedroom!
I look back and cringe at all the times i would jump up quickly so that he wouldnt see my body, or ask for the lights off, but one day i broke down and saw that he thought he was doing something wrong, and realised he'd obviously seen it or felt it before and now we're completely open about he knows all my problems and stands by me 100%.
Any advice you need dont hesitate to message me that goes to anyone... im starting a new fitness program in the new year so if anyone needs a buddy to inspire and help them im here!
i spend 20mins everyday covering my face with lotions with every antibacterial cream/wash etc.. to keep acne at bay!
i wax - shave - tweeze - bleach - remove constantly!
Luckily hair on my face isnt a problem at the moment but i think its due to the fact i have an implant in my arm which pumps hormones into me constantly! but once thats out im sure i'll be in the same boat!
Latina, I really liked what ayrton had to say, he verbalized what I was thinking.. make it a non issue for the guy. I know its a huge issue for you, but if you can somehow tell him without making it seem like the earths gravitational pull depends on it, than he will react in kind.. no big deal.
I would just tell him straight up. Be like "hey, uhm, I got a little confession to make. I'm heavier than the pic shows, and I've got some facial hair." Remember, guys are easy, and they come in go. Facial hair can be removed, btw, so don't trip out as much on it. I have the utmost sympathy for you, though. I'm praying he's not vain or shallow or crappy like that and you get hurt. Try to get another pic of yourself. Dress up, make yourself pretty, and then have the pic done. See if you have a friend who can take it, and send him that pic right after you confess.....make that part of your confession. "Hey, I'm all this, and here's something to put your mind at ease." Guys are visual creatures, they don't understand 60 lbs heavier. They hear facial hair, their mind thinks you have as much as them. Girl, there are others out there who will love you for just who you are, and they will overlook the symptoms of PCOS, coz it doesn't matter to them. Good luck.
Hey Latina, I also agree with Ayrton7. I think you should definitly tell him about the weight gain, because that is something he would probably notice off hand, but hold off on talking about the facial hair. I think sometimes we make a bigger issue about it, because we are so self concious about it, I know I do. So shave, wear some make up...and if he doesn't mention it...you dont have to and if he does explain the sitution. I hope it all works out well!
I also agree with ayrton7. I wouldn't come right out and tell him about the hair until you have met. I met my dh off of the internet. I didn't tell him everything until we decided to take our relationship very serious. I figured then, he had gotten to know me and if he really cared about me, he would understand. GOOD LUCK!
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the person I'm seeing now was once an Internet friend. I also thought about whether or not to tell them about my hair issues. then I figured that it wasn't important because it is such a tiny part of who I am.
so one day, she tells me that she loves natural women. I'm like... uh, ok... good for you. lol. I knew what was coming next. then she asked if I had any facial hair, arm hair or if I shaved my legs.
girl, I could have died! I wasn't really ashamed or anything but it is not a common topic of conversation for me. I always embraced my hair to a degree, BUT, I wasn't all for praising the hair, ya know.
so I told her I had some facial hair. some that I waxed and some finer hair that I don't bother with. she was pretty excited about that. lol, I know some people out there love a natural women or hirsute lady.. but I have never met one before her.
so to make a long story short, on our first date, at the end of the night, she shyly asked if she could touch my arm hair. oh my goodness, that was so sweet and just a different experience all together.
so that was over 8 months ago. I stopped shaving my armpits, I still wax my chin because it looks better to me and allows me to put on foundation, I pretty much leave my sideburns and beard hair alone, I haven't shaved my legs in months but will consider it again during the summer (she's already sad about that)
so the moral of the story is....
there are people who will love, embrace and adore you for all that you are and if *hair* is an issue for them, then they are a waste of time for you.
Fuzzy, I think that is FANTASTIC!!!! congrats for finding the ying to your yang hehe
Once I had a bf that loved it when I didnt shave my legs, I didnt like it too much but he really enjoyed it. I also once met a guy, I was pretty young at the time (17-18) and wasnt too bothered by my strange patch of hair on my chin.. it wasnt as bad as it is now. He was from Africa and he told me that in his culture it wasnt considered a bad thing, he thought it was very sexy.. I thought he was strange
There are men out there that like it, just like there are people out there that like every other kind of difference, you just gotta find the right one for you
Should i tell internet "friend' about the hair? 
Always best to be truthful 
alot of good men havent got a problem and stand by yourside, i know that im very lucky 
Hello Latina! 
my story 
