Hello everyone! What a wonderful site... Ok, here's my problem.
I'm 20 years old and I'm in a loving relationship for about 1 year. My boyfriend and I get along so well. We knew each other very well for another year before we got together. I haven't told him about PCOS...
Ok, maybe it's soon to think about that, but when he makes dreams about having a big family with many children, it hurts so much to know that it is possible never to have that... Should I tell him? Should I inform him that if he stays with me, there's a good chance not to have children? Is it fair, not to say anything and let him find out later?...
Apart from the fear never to have children, I also have the fear not to be with my man, since I don't know how he'll react. He talks about how wonderful being a daddy will be very often...
What do you think I should do?
__________________ WOE: Low-carb Diagnosed with PCOS: December 2005 Meds: Yasmin
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''Wisdom, Justice, Fortitude and
Temperance'' To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
1- Just having PCOS does not mean you won't ever be able to have a child. Docs know more know about helping women conceive than ever before. For some reassurance please check the Mommy board and ask about the experiences they have had.
2- If you think you two are going to get married then tell him in a very calm, facts oriented way. Stay away from the AF info, since men hate to hear about heavy periods and stuff.
3- Find a good doc if you don't already have one. You could be getting your fertility on track now for years down the road.
PCOS is like any other life long condition. You need to tell him so he can decide for himself if he can handle it. Better to find out now if he doesn't have what it takes to hang in with you. Just calmly state facts about your PCOS.
BTW, infertility is not a fact, it is only a possibility. I conceived using no drugs, and had no trouble carrying him to term, after being told that I would probably never have a pregnancy w/o intervention. Let DBF know that it could be a problem, but might not. Good luck, and take care.
__________________ Lucky mommy of Quinn, 6 years.
PCOS, IBS, Clinical Depression, Lyme Disease, allergies
trying to go natural, down to 1 script, 1 OTC(love u Zyrtec!) and lots of vitamins
Thanks for the reply ladies!
First of all, I'm thinking to try to get my periods back. I plan to consult more doctors and find out more. So, I'm not gonna tell him for the moment... Why upset him for something that I might be able to control? If we stay together long enough, I will tell him... I just cannot do it right now.
__________________ WOE: Low-carb Diagnosed with PCOS: December 2005 Meds: Yasmin
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Well.....I found out I probably had PCOS in the first year of my relationship with my NOW husband (this was in 2002). I had to have a cyst removed, and I let him know what was going on. Even though I was not officially diagnosed until this year. He has known every step of the way what was going on with me, and Im glad for that. I would have hated to have come to him after years of being together, and been like 'Oh yeah, and by the way..this is going on." I think it would have hurt him that I had not involved him.
__________________
Me -27 DH -32
Married since 08-01-03
01-08-08 BFP!!!!
DD: 09-08-08
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Hey There!
I'm 23yrs old and I was diagnosed last year.
I told my boyfriend of 2 years... about it, but it was just bc he saw me doing research about it on the computer everyday and I just very casually mentioned 'yeah I have it, but apparently it's pretty common....my step sister and friend that lives up north has it as well, so I'll be ok..just kind of a pain in the butt"....yatta yatta and he asked a few questions and then it was dropped,no biggie. But if he didn't ask, I probably wouldn't have said anything, because, even tho I love him to death and may have a family with him one day,....I just don't feel the need to bring it up bc with PCOS you may or MAY NOT have difficulty in the 'pregnancy area' but its not 100% guarenteed 'you will never have kids!' lol...
So...
I agree with you, why upset the guy if it's not neccessary right now ...
"Cross that road, when you get there"... I think it's better that way.
And that's my novel for the day ladies, I'm gonig to the beach!! woo hoo!
I think you will tell him when the time is right. I have been with my man for about two years now. We just had this conversation last week for the first time. Before it just never came up. I just told him that there is a possibility of infertility however that some women have no problem with concieving, others use fertility aids such as metformin or clomid, etc. I just gave him a general outline and answered any questions he had. I am sure you will know what to say when the time comes.