I have no where or no-one to turn to at the moment so this may be long - grab a cuppa!
A bit of history 1st: I met Andy in May 97 we started TTC near enough straight away. We married in May 99 and found out I had PCOS in Dec 99 after a Lap and Dye. We fell PG in May 00 and we had JJ in Feb 01. We started having problems (well I did) last year. Andy lost his £26,000 a year job in August which may have triggered it off. Everything I had bottled up exploded, mostly little things like Andy not helping out. Most people think I over-react but most fathers bathe their children, change their nappies, spend a day with them - Andy didn't and he still hasn't looked after JJ for a whole day. Anyway in September 02 I packed my stuff and left him. I went to my mums as I have no where else to go but after a few hours Andy phoned and he ended up picking me up. We went away for the week to spend quality time together and I found out I was pregnant - shocked! He must have asumed everything was fine and it hasn't been mentioned since. We have our moments but its life as usual.....................
Anyway all that may be the cause of my problem - if I have one............................................... .......
I can't stop shopping - you probably think I am mad. I have brought so much for the kids since having Harrison, mainly clothes. I can't stop buying them clothes from Next, Debenhams etc. I get a thrill out of spending money so they can have nice clothes. Then when I get home and look at what I have brought I feel so guilty. We are on Job Seekers allowence at the moment and that doesn't pay a lot. Andy is starting up a business with his mate and that means he is working but not getting paid as the business isn't set up yet and won't be til late summer. He is out of the house most days not getting paid and I end up in Lakeside bored............spending money. I am happy when I am doing what I want, buying what I want. I know I should talk to someone but I think they will laugh at me. My Health Visitor is coming round next week and I was going to mention it to her.
I am so lucky to have my 2 boys - I know I am. They should make me happy enough and they do. But when I am stressed I need to shop.
I just don't know what to do - I will cut all my cards up tomorrow, thats one way I suppose.
Is there such a thing as a shopaholic??
Well thanks for listening to my problems, it helps just to write it down even if none reads it! A little bit of weight off of my shoulders.
__________________ Me - 25, DH - 34. 2 DS: JJ - 4, Harri - 2
Married 15/5/99 (TTC July '97)
DX PCOS '99. Lap & Dye, Ovary Drilling Dec '99.
Clomid Mar '00 - May'00.
JJ born 28/02/01
Metformin 6 months in '01-'02
Harri born 24/02/03
No meds
Baby #3 EDD 14/12/05
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Sorry that things have been low, despite your two boys. There IS such a thing as a shopaholic. It is like any other addiction and can be treated, but, as with most addictions it has a root cause which needs to be tackled, and it sounds as though you already know what yours is.
You may find that if you tackled your marriage problems, then the shopping problem would sort itself out. I know a lot of men don't like the idea of having marriage counselling, but I think it might just do you two the world of good! After all, it sounds like you don't communicate at all - especially if you are not happy and Andy is wandering around with his head in the clouds thinking you are the perfect married couple!!
First stop, talk to Andy. If talking between the two of you doesn't seem to be resolving anything, then suggest counselling. If Andy won't go, go by yourself. You can normally get an early appointment at your local Relate counsellors and as you are on a limited income it would probably be free (their charges are based on your earnings). Going on your own may be a help anyway as they may be able to get to why you are unhappy in your marriage and give you guidance on how to explain your feelings properly to Andy.
Good luck and let us know how you get on.
__________________ Jane
Divorced (twice!), Miracle son, Stewart born May 1999
42 years old
1000mg Metformin
Chronium, Vit B Complex, Vit C & Zinc
26/01/09 on Prostap to induce menopause
Probable hysterectomy during 2009
"The Happiest Women, like the happiest nations, have no history" (George Elliott, Mill on the Floss)
I totally agree with all this advice. I have been off work for the last 2months with depression etc, and I have days where I want to spend, but it is out of boredom and other worries(marrital) Funnily enough you don't live too far away from me. I think that as you are at home all day with 2 little ones, it gets boring, not in a "so much to do" sense, but that you need to get out and find things to do. I have started a course at my son's school for a couple of weeks and I enjoy it.
It isn't long since you have had harrison, and you are coping sooooo well.
I am hoping to go to relate soon as well, as it has to help.
Should I tell someone?? 
