How are you guys dealing with PCOS when it comes to intimacy?

[kenziesmom]

IM the same way, when DH and i were first together and the first year of our marriage it was all the time but now 6 years later its like only once every few weeks, i have no interest most of the time. Or i just am so frustrated about it, and hes totally fine about it he understands. My doctor is always like how can u get pregnant if u dont ever have intercourse?!
Anyways good luck with everything!

[Cystsational]

Just jumping in to comment on the loyalty issue - I'm a self confessed addict, but *only* with my partner. I wouldn't cheat on him if he wasn't up to it. I'd probably have sore arms though.

[FairyGodFather]

I dare say that he isn't being very sensitive and understanding at all if he's threatening to go find someone else. I am certain that my wife would do nothing short of annihilate me if I so much as considered doing anything of the sort.

We don't have much of a problem with intimacy. We don't have either too much or too little of it. There are times when she is in too much pain and only wants to cuddle (and there are times among that when she wants it because she is in pain and wants the relief) and I entirely understand. I think that women tend to forget that not all men are sex-driven machines and that some of us can live without it.

It is the emotional side that I tend to focus on. Being kind and understanding comes naturally to me and so it is easy to reassure my wife that everything is going to be all right. Often, she seems convinced that having PCOS automatically makes her infertile and I like to reassure her otherwise. I'm not suffering any delusions that falling pregnant will be easy for her, but I am aware that it is not impossible.

While I do try not to be insensitive, I do remember that it isn't my problem...well, it is and it isn't, if that makes sense. What I'm trying to say is that I don't feel like I need to "deal with it" because what ever problems - if any, though none - I may have as a result of my wife's condition pale in comparison to actually living with it. All I can do is be there for her and help he through it as best I can.

[sexykat22]

I love my man, we do have ups & downs when it comes to sex. Sometimes I want it for weeks on end and then all of a sudden I don't want it at all for a while. Normally if I don't want it somehow he can always turn me on and then I will satisfy him & myself. He always has a way even not in the mood to achieve his goal! I love him so much he's everything I have always asked for!

[kaitlynluton]

I am 19 years old and Finally with the Guy I'm extremely in love with. I have no idea how to approach the subject and I don't wanna lose him sometimes it's just too painful.

[rhythmredempt]

If my partner said he was going to get someone else on the side to "help him out" I'd fix his problem for him right quick and in a hurry and make him fully available for whoever he wanted to get laid with by packing his worthless junk and leaving it on the curb during heavy garbage collection day. I swear to god men are so disgusting it makes me absolutely sick.

Find someone who thinks with the head in his skull, not the one between his worthless self-serving legs.

I fully agreeeee. Also, I seem to have the problem of wanting it too much. I haven't exactly addressed this problem either.. In solo or with partner.

[Neechogan]

I can sympathize with the OP.

I am in a relationship that, like many others, was once smokin' hot when it came to sex but over time as my wife developed PCOS, her desire for me started to wane. It went from two or three times per week to two or three times per month. Now, its once every two to three months. At one point, she had heavy menstrual bleeding that had lasted 6 months and there was absolutely no physical intimacy at all.

At first I was frustrated but then that frustration turned to resentment and bitterness...sometimes anger. However, despite trying to be supportive, trying to be more romantic and all that jazz, nothing improved.

I had become so depressed about my wife's constant rejection that I had even once considered suicide. What some people need to understand is that men are wired differently and that we express our love through physical things such as working hard, fixing stuff around the house, making love, etc. When we are constantly rejected by the people who are supposed to love us it creates a hurt that is difficult to express sometimes.

I went through the grieving cycle - I denied it; I got angry about it; I accepted it; and now I live with it. There's nothing I can do about my wife's low or now libido because of the chemical imbalances in her body. Now, I am just grateful and savour every moment whenever my wife is up for the occassion - each and every time we make love now is as special to me as the first time and that isn't neccesarily a bad thing.

[Sunshinelollypopsraunbows]

Wow after reading Neechogan post I feel terrible about the fact that I really haven't given my partner enough care. It does affect us both but I have just realised I've been a bit selfish maybe.
My side
I have only just been diagnosed after going to the doc for years with diff symptoms and always being made to feel like an idiot. In that time I've been in a lot a pain and my partner would get angry because I would be sick have my girlis a lot or be in pain. He believed I was making it up to get out of sex. Other times we'd have a lot but it would be awhile sometimes in between. It would even frustrate me. This has been going on for two years with symptoms getting worse. I would get so made at him and feel so betrayed he didn't believe me even when I was crippled with pain some nights that when I was fine I didn't want to make the effort with anything with him. Even now he know he gets angry and I just can't be with him like that while he's doing that. I'm so angry with him and my family and old doc cause everyone made me feel like a whiner and a liar. Now they seem to be thinking that is caused by my gain in weight not that it is the cause of my weight gain and me getting sick easily.
I think my partner a big build up of resentment that it has been just me rejecting him and he can't see past that.
We've had a rocky relationship for a year before the symptoms started and I did reject him a lot. He left me and the kids for two years for a woman he met on line on valentines day. I only found out cause I tried to call him and when He didn't seem to make it where he told me he would be I panicked and called everyone. Finally his friend told me. I was able to get her number call her she didn't know about me and he told me we'd been over for months. Could've told me.
Well two years later we both grew up some more him mostly and I forgave him and gave him another chance after we'd been able to become friends again. But he wanted to go straight to intimacy but I couldn't I need more time for that. Which started a tug of war cycle. The more he got frustrated the less I wanted to and the more he got frustrated.

We just seemed to have worked this out and it was great when my symptoms got so much worse. He seems to thinks its all the old stuff but its not. It's really frustrating for me too to be going without. I've had the symptoms bad for a year and been going to the doc who didn't believe me.

I'm to have my gyno appointment this week to see what I can do about it so hopefully I will have some control back soon.

I know there's a lot of stuff in this post but I thought our history was important for people to understand and he sounds like an ass but we started dating when I was 14 and him 16 (now 26 &29) one bad thing can't cross out all the good for a lot of years and he's a great father and mostly very caring this is our one issue.

Thanx for reading and giving me a place to spill everything.

[muslimah85]

I always thought that the reason my sex drive wasn't up to it's mark was because of my emotional scars of being made fun of in high school! My husband is very very supportive and tells me that I am beautiful no matter how fat or hairy I am..but still, it is ME! How do I overcome?

[ticktock]

I have a fairly high sex drive (luckily for DH) he also has one, and we tend to have sex atleast 5 times a week, i'd be happy with 5 times a day if I could lol

[tjpeterson97]

I've never thought about the guy. I was always thinking about how I felt. Thank you!

[xtattookittyx]

I didn't know that always wanting sex was a result of PCOS.
It explains a lot. (hahaha!)

I have the whole constant sex drive thing, my poor man! haha!
Sometimes I worry that he doesn't really want it because it's so easily available (I jump at the chance! haha) and he works a lot and is quite
stressed with his dissertation, etc.
When he had more energy he loved it though

But at the moment I'm the one handling the rejection!
(Oh wellll....)

[KA1214]

I didn't know that wanting it all the time was a symptom too? I am always initiating it - explains a lot.

[sobreviviente]

I am happily married and have issues with intimacy. I am very self conscience due to the excess hair growth. My husband doesn't care, however, it bothers me terribly.

[andreakaye210]

Counseling may be a good option. Men and women think so differently, that sometimes it's just really hard to understand where the other is coming from, no matter what you're talking out, PCOS or not. I also recommend the book "His Needs, Her Needs." It changed my life forever, and my relationship with my BF.