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  1. #1
    Registered User KamikazeKitten's Avatar
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    Unhappy Can't hold down a job

    Does anyone here struggle keeping a job due to bad anxiety and depression?

    I have had a big issue with my anxiety/depression and trying to hold down a job my whole life,never mind struggling with this extreme fatigue. I can't handle angry confrontation due to my upbringing, and I get terrible anxiety and panic attacks and cry when I have a conflict. Not only is it embarrassing which makes it worse but it wears me out badly.

    I am willing to take anxiety medicine but not antidepressants as I don't like how thy make me feel on a whole. Does anyone else go threw this ???

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    Registered User genti271's Avatar
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    Hey!

    I know where you're coming from, however, I am on an antidepressant.

    The antidepressant that I am on, Citalopram, has helped significantly with my anxiety attacks, however, I still get them & when I get them, everyone knows. My heart starts racing, I can't stop shaking, I have a pounding headache, I'm restless, and have some very heavy breathing.

    It's definitely not easy to hold a job with it - as stressful as my job can be, it's not unusual for me to have conflicts.

    Just this morning, I asked my boss if I would be able to not travel on Fridays during the summer. She said that she would try to keep me in the office on Friday's but there may be some that I need to travel. Now, my little brother races every Friday night from April through September, and I am living my dream through him. I have never missed a race. Needless to say, that was emotional breakdown and anxiety attack #1 of the day.

    I also understand where you are coming from with being embarrassed. However, it is nothing to be embarrassed about! You, yourself, know what is causing your anxiety. And there are most definitely people in the world that don't understand that every person is fighting a battle they know nothing about. Whether your PCOS and conflict are part of your anxiety or it is something entirely different, there are a lot of people who will never understand.


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    Registered User Abs's Avatar
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    Kamikaze-I totally understand where you sre coming from, I used to have exactly the same issues as you. I was diagnosed with O.C.D about 18 months ago. I went through an intensive therapy programme and have made great progress. I went through the therapy because I felt that, for me, taking a pill everyday would just mask the real problem and that I was at a point where I needed to deal with it.

    I reaaly hope that you manage to get through this and live your life a happier, stronger person!


    Abbie (23) & Matthew (26)
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    Diagnosed with PCOS: 2007
    m/c 2007 at almost 10 weeks
    Current: Waiting for AF to come naturally, so we can start tamoxifen!

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    Registered User lulu22's Avatar
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    Kamikaze- I understand what you're going through and I really feel for you. I went through many years of crying at my desk, in a bathroom stall, etc. and not able to focus on my work. As well as panic attacks where I just out and out need to run to my boss and tell them I need to leave asap- and then try to figure out how to drive home feeling like I'm going to die! I tried anti-D's once and got so dizzy and felt so drunk that I couldn't work anyway....

    The only thing that has helped me in the past (I'm not working now- I'm in school) has been having a co-worker I trust who can step outside with me and talk on breaks. Just one person at work who knows what I'm dealing with and I can rely on for moral support.

    Now, I am trying to go to school to get a job where I will be able to figure out my own hours. That was the hardest part for me, was lack of sick days and bosses that don't understand and treat you like you're a problem. I had one supervisor tell me they didn't care if I had problems, I wasn't to bring them to work! I realized if I could figure out a job where I didn't have a boss or sick time limits, or had a much more flexible boss & sick time, that would help a lot.

    Anyway, I hope you find some way of dealing with it that works for you!
    Me: 31 & DH: 36 (ttc 12/2012)

    PCOS since: 09/06, Dx'd via labwork/ultrasound: 05/07- Slightly High Testosterone, Bad IR, Adrenal fatigue, Syndrome X, Anxiety & Depression

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    Registered User KamikazeKitten's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lulu22 View Post
    Kamikaze- I understand what you're going through and I really feel for you. I went through many years of crying at my desk, in a bathroom stall, etc. and not able to focus on my work. As well as panic attacks where I just out and out need to run to my boss and tell them I need to leave asap- and then try to figure out how to drive home feeling like I'm going to die! I tried anti-D's once and got so dizzy and felt so drunk that I couldn't work anyway....

    The only thing that has helped me in the past (I'm not working now- I'm in school) has been having a co-worker I trust who can step outside with me and talk on breaks. Just one person at work who knows what I'm dealing with and I can rely on for moral support.

    Now, I am trying to go to school to get a job where I will be able to figure out my own hours. That was the hardest part for me, was lack of sick days and bosses that don't understand and treat you like you're a problem. I had one supervisor tell me they didn't care if I had problems, I wasn't to bring them to work! I realized if I could figure out a job where I didn't have a boss or sick time limits, or had a much more flexible boss & sick time, that would help a lot.

    Anyway, I hope you find some way of dealing with it that works for you!
    I am in the same boat as you trying to find a job that can accommodate to anxiety/panic disorders, as some day with my anxiety I can't deal with people and it causes big issues as you said with sick days. My husband gets how bad my anxiety is and doesn't expect me to work but I absolutely hate not making money and have been trying to overcome this threw counseling. I'm glad to hear others can relate to this as a lot of people around me think I'm just emotional unmotivated or lazy or something and really its very hard for me to deal with people as I faced a lot of abuse from people in my younger years that has left a big toll on me, I find it so hard to talk to people. Thanks everyone for sharing it means alot to me *hugs* <3

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    Registered User wifey's Avatar
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    omg I thought I was the only one. I am so paranoid its rediculous. I got so flushed and panicy at the smallest stuff at work. I do hair for a living and let me tell you nothing ruffles my feathers more than the slightest look of diapproval in the mirror. I think half the time I make up in my head before I even start that they are gonna be unhappy. It is getting so bad that I am condsidering quitting my job and staying at home like a hermit. I am constantly nervous when people come around the house or ring the door bell. Its like go away, I'm scared of you. Its so creepy. The only reason I haven't already quit my job is because I don't want to disappoint my hubby and the mound of debt I need to pay down.

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    Have my first pumpkin! winddrop's Avatar
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    My problem turned out to be ADHD. I've had anxiety depression on and off my whole life. And recently found out ADHD. Being medicated for that helped both SOOO much. One of my best friends was having similar issues and couldn't get any meds to work for depression. She was also recently diagnoised with ADHD and has found relief with both.

    Here are a couple links to check if this might be the case:
    http://www.addcoach4u.com/documents/...eenertest1.pdf
    http://psychcentral.com/addquiz.htm
    Kari (37), DH (36)Hidden Content ; TTC#2 9/13
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    ~*Baby On The Way*~ CysterLeanne's Avatar
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    I finally had to apply for disability because I can't hold a job down after SEVERAL failed attempts on meds (three times landed in the hospital for allergic reactions to different ones) also had 8 straight months of counseling and don't feel a dang bit different...I just took that adhd quiz and I have an 84!!! Holy sh!t...i thought that might be my problem but I am afraid to talk to my doctor about it :'( I don't know how to bring it up


    Quote Originally Posted by winddrop View Post
    My problem turned out to be ADHD. I've had anxiety depression on and off my whole life. And recently found out ADHD.
    Being medicated for that helped both SOOO much. One of my best friends was having similar issues and couldn't get any meds to work for depression. She was also recently diagnoised with ADHD and has found relief with both.

    Here are a couple links to check if this might be the case:
    http://www.addcoach4u.com/documents/...eenertest1.pdf
    http://psychcentral.com/addquiz.htm
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    Registered User cherrycordial's Avatar
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    The only reason I have a job at this point is because I have the nicest boss in the world. I've had depression for years and for the last nine months or so I've had trouble making it to work on time, or making it to work in general. Honestly until I got on here I didn't know PCOS and depression could be related.
    Melissa

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    Registered User KamikazeKitten's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cherrycordial View Post
    The only reason I have a job at this point is because I have the nicest boss in the world. I've had depression for years and for the last nine months or so I've had trouble making it to work on time, or making it to work in general. Honestly until I got on here I didn't know PCOS and depression could be related.
    I get so jealous when I hear this even though I'm so happy for you,I feel like I have the worse luck ever. I have memory problems as of late and severe social anxiety and depression. It's hard for me to even talk to people around me because they think I'm making most of this up, and I'm just trying to be difficult. I know why they think this, because when I'm happy I excel amazingly but when I get depressed I can't even think right anymore I change into a antisocial person. I don't even spend time with most people anymore excluding my husband, because of my depression. Everyday is a challenge lately to not cry.

    The worst part is I want to work badly but I can't handle social mishaps brought on by rude arrogant and ignorant people. When people have a tiff with me at work you know those people at work who start crap with you know matter what, I can't handle it I'm an emotional wreck when people berate me and I get bad anxiety and need to leave because I have a panic attack and start to cry its so embarrassing. My therapist says just go to the washroom but I cry for hours unwillingly it just pours out and when I'm done it shows on my face I have been crying I hate it!

    Sometimes it really bothers my husband to when I do this, but I can't help it. I have always had this issue since I was a kid and even my parents hated it. I don't know what to do, I want to work and be able to fend for myself but I can't handle aggressive confrontation, I don't want to be on hardcore drugs for it or disabled because I really want a career that's not defined by my weaknesses but it seems impossible...

  17. #11
    Registered User KamikazeKitten's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CysterLeanne View Post
    I finally had to apply for disability because I can't hold a job down after SEVERAL failed attempts on meds (three times landed in the hospital for allergic reactions to different ones) also had 8 straight months of counseling and don't feel a dang bit different...I just took that adhd quiz and I have an 84!!! Holy sh!t...i thought that might be my problem but I am afraid to talk to my doctor about it :'( I don't know how to bring it up
    I hate antidepressants one I had a reaction too, another I tried gave me strong suicidal thoughts, and the other made me feel like I had no emotions what so ever. I also am in counseling but so far I don't feel any better as of yet accept in minute areas if anything at times I feel dis-empowered because of recapping all the things I went threw with abuse which have now turned into nightmares,and all the sad and difficult choices I had to make lately like stop trying to be close to my own family because the reality is they even care I exist.

    I guess a lot plays into my depression right now because there alot of stuff im dealing with and facing but I feel so discouraged and I feel I really don't have time or the luxury to heal...

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    Have my first pumpkin! winddrop's Avatar
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    Kitten-Did you take the ADHD tests? A lot of what you are saying sounds like it could be a possibility. The meds I take stay in my system for max 6 hours. If I choose not to take another pill I don't have to. It was night and day. My anxiety was SIGNIFICANTLY reduced my memory was great.

    Leanne-I brought up my symptoms to my GP and explained how this was always the problem since childhood. I was lucky that my GP was willing to give it a try.
    Kari (37), DH (36)Hidden Content ; TTC#2 9/13
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    Registered User KamikazeKitten's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by winddrop View Post
    Kitten-Did you take the ADHD tests? A lot of what you are saying sounds like it could be a possibility. The meds I take stay in my system for max 6 hours. If I choose not to take another pill I don't have to. It was night and day. My anxiety was SIGNIFICANTLY reduced my memory was great.

    Leanne-I brought up my symptoms to my GP and explained how this was always the problem since childhood. I was lucky that my GP was willing to give it a try.
    Yeah I did, I only have like 3 or 4out of the symptoms listed. I had anxiety all my life but I grew up in a reckless home and i survived abuse from a outside sources until I was 16, this is how I have social anxiety. I only started having a memory problem since my pcos got worse, before that I graduated as a honor role student, but I noticed in my last year which is 2010 I had a lot of issues remembering simple things and recalling things I use to know very well, and I started suffering from severe depression, and my anxiety got worse, it started happening around the same time I was having severe pcos problems. I still have the depression, fatigue and memory issues, this all happened in the last year, I already had a hard time with my anxiety, the depression has made things a lot worse. Theres some days I feel a little better and my focus is better and I feel like myself again, but its very rare...

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    Registered User Tina Castle's Avatar
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    I can't keep a job either! I have major depressive disorder with psychotic features. I also have insomnia. I can never get up on time for anything so having to be on a schedule just isn't going to happen. I also am really shy due to teasing when I was younger so it takes me awhile to warm up to new people. Plus I have anxiety and panic attacks on a whim.

    I've worked for Walmart twice as a cashier and both times they made my anxiety go through the roof. Dealing with customers was difficult for me to do so I quit. Then I had a job at a call center from March-May 2011 and I was fired because I couldn't stay up at my desk (thanks to my sleeping meds that make me sleep for 12 hours straight).

    I've applied for SSI twice. Both times denied, but the second one is on appeal with a lawyer. I really hope something comes through. I just don't think I'm cut out for the work at all. I also can't attend school because I don't have the concentration to study.

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    ~*Baby On The Way*~ CysterLeanne's Avatar
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    You sound a LOT like myself!!! My anxiety is unreal I hate even shopping for food!! I have insomnia (which has shown to make anxiety worse)....I also have been diagnosed with Major depression (recurrent), Borderline personality disorder (hate that EFFING name and am embarrassed that I have it!), Chronic PTSD and Generalized anxiety disorder...almost EVERY axis for mental health has a effing diagnosis...I was FLOORED I am still kinda in denial of the BPD I hate the name and I hate the negative stigma attached to ANY mental illness :'(

    Quote Originally Posted by Tina Castle View Post
    I can't keep a job either! I have major depressive disorder with psychotic features. I also have insomnia. I can never get up on time for anything so having to be on a schedule just isn't going to happen. I also am really shy due to teasing when I was younger so it takes me awhile to warm up to new people. Plus I have anxiety and panic attacks on a whim.

    I've worked for Walmart twice as a cashier and both times they made my anxiety go through the roof. Dealing with customers was difficult for me to do so I quit. Then I had a job at a call center from March-May 2011 and I was fired because I couldn't stay up at my desk (thanks to my sleeping meds that make me sleep for 12 hours straight).

    I've applied for SSI twice. Both times denied, but the second one is on appeal with a lawyer. I really hope something comes through. I just don't think I'm cut out for the work at all. I also can't attend school because I don't have the concentration to study.
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