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  1. #1
    Registered User bri's Avatar
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    Default Does depression ever go away?

    I suffered from chronic depression for about 6 years when I was younger (ages 13-18). It was a very dark and long part of my life that I never want to revisit. Unfortunately although I think most of the time I've conquered the depression, I still have remnants of an eating disorder and ever since PCOS became a part of my life... sometimes I feel like my depression is going to come back too. Or maybe that it never really went away to begin with and it's always been hiding under the surface? My life has been extremely stressful lately and when things get really bad, I feel like my old self again. My thoughts and actions remind me of how I was then and how I dealt with things then. I know that PCOS and depression are often closely related which scares me even more. I guess I'm just wondering if anyone here can relate. If you had depression in the past - did it return with your PCOS? I've never liked myself (which I'm used to) but lately my self-loathing has dropped to a lower level where I don't know what to do or how much more I can take.
    Bri (23) DX PCOS Dec 2011
    Spironolactone 200mg
    Marvelon-28 BCP


  2. #2
    Feet on the Ground defygravity's Avatar
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    The majority of people in the world will experience depression at some point or another in their lives. Many of them will go through a major depressive episode, like what you had when you were younger.

    I believe that some people, for probably a couple reasons, are susceptible to those episodes throughout life. I experience the same thing, with anxiety. I have had several episodes of crazy lady anxiety in the past 15 years. I found that talk therapy and medication really helped. I have a tough time linking the episodes to PCOS, while I believe the disorders are linked I just can't really link the anxiety to particular PCOS symptoms. I've had a couple depressive episodes as well, and while one of them is indirectly related to PCOS (infertility) I also don't know that I would say the PCOS brings on the depression.

    Is seeing a counselor an option for you?
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  3. #3
    Registered User BlazingBlue's Avatar
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    I was diagnosed with depression around the same time I was diagnosed with PCOS (2006). I was never given an indication that the two could have been linked, so I treated them as seperate animals. I've been on meds for the depression, had CBT, done all sorts of things to try to alleviate it, but it's been a struggle. Things came to a head in September last year, when I ended up in hospital following an overdose. Something changed for me then. My life continued to go down the toilet, but I struggled to make the best of it. As a part of my promise to myself to get better, I made myself some simple bracelets, all in different colours, each one a reminder of a reason I wanted to get better. Some were people, some were hopes, some were dreams, but each one was a valid reason. About 2 months have passed since I last wore them. I still have them, and I'll put them on if I need to, but my good days definitely outweigh the bad. I don't think it's ever something you're truely rid of, but it does get better.

  4. #4
    Registered User leahbear's Avatar
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    I was depressed throughout my teenage years and just figured that that's what I was like. I later realized that I only get severely depressed when on birth control pills. I can't even handle the super low dose from the mirena iud. I just had it taken out a few months ago and it took my hormones about 2 1/2 months to get back to "normal". I would feel like my whole life was a waste, that everything I did was wrong, that people couldn't possible love me and that things were always going to be this bad. I had a hard time getting out of bed. Now that the hormones are out of my system I'm back to my normal calm, happy self.

    I have been through more minor depressions when not on BCPs and I found that working through the book Feeling Good really helped. It's long, but you just pick it up and try to put the CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy ) techniques into use in your life. It's basically about awareness of when your thoughts get distorted and recognizing that they don't represent reality and catching these thoughts before they can negatively effect your emotions. I read it a few times before it really started to help, but you can use the techniques for the rest of your life so it's definitely worth the effort.

    I've also found that meditation has really helped keep my stress levels down. There's an excellent intro course taught be Gil Fronsdal on the audiodharma.org site: http://www.audiodharma.org/series/1/talk/1762/

    Talk to the people in your life that care about you. Sometimes just telling someone about your problems makes them seem not as bad.

    Hang in there. Keep reaching out to people. Maybe try a break from your BCPs to see if they're causing the problems. It'll get better.

  5. #5
    Registered User Tina Castle's Avatar
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    Depression can come and go. Medication just helps you maintain if you choose to go that route. I've been battling severe depression since I was 5 years old and sexually abused by an older cousin.

    Just know that you can survive through depression as long as you have proper coping skills and try to avoid triggers. Try getting a really good therapist or at least someone who will listen. The national suicide prevention hotline has counselors who will listen to you day or night. Know that seeking help doesn't make you weak. Here's the suicide prevention hotline's number and you do NOT need to be suicidal to call: 1-800-273-8255.

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    Registered User WorldExplorer's Avatar
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    Wow. You sound just like me. I had my first major depressive episode at 13, but no one knew it. I was mostly depressed through my teen years, another major depression at 18 (still undiagnosed), and finally diagnosed with depression in my 20s. With all this I developed an eating disorder that still crops up when I get stressed. When I was finally diagnosed with PCOS at 34, I realized it could have been a factor in all of that since, looking back, I had symptoms of PCOS since my teens.

    I've been on a "maintenance" dose of antidepressants for several years. It seems to work to help me from going down so quickly I can't recover. Most of the time, I can recognize when I start feeling really bad and start using other techniques (cognitive behavioral therapy is really good) to keep from going off a cliff. It still doesn't fix it all, though. The last year or so has been really hard with TTC and fertility treatments and unsuccessful weight loss and a major move and lots of other stressors. I haven't completely fallen into depression, but I definitely feel on edge. My motivation drops through the floor along with my self-image. Right now, I'm just trying to tell myself that tomorrow is another day.
    Me - 37, DH - 37
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    IVF May???

  8. #7
    Feet on the Ground defygravity's Avatar
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    I'm very episodic - I actually think I may be undiagnosed cyclothymic. I can feel the episodes switching from low to high and occasionally to VERY low. I also had an episode in high school, a HUGE one in college that actually got me kicked out, and a big one back in 2009 about TTC. CBT has really helped teach me to switch perspectives, and it's amazing. I still have rough days, but many of the things that used to really bother me don't anymore.
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  9. #8
    SoulCyster #1 KatCarney's Avatar
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    I don't know enough about the complexities of depression to say too much about it - as it's such a personal issue, however, I 'do' know that identifying the possible causes for the depression can help determine how easily it can be treated.

    Having a good doctor (which is easier said than done) can really help.

    Many things like:

    - meds (BCP's triggered VERY severe depression for me. I felt better the day after I came off of them),
    - seasonal allergies (not everyone has 'sneezing/watery eyes'. For many people 'depression' is their only symptom)
    - low fat diet,

    ...etc can all trigger pretty debilitating depression in women - and often times, those things go overlooked.

    Also, 'environment'. Years ago, I could barely drag myself out of bed to go to work, and was non-functional at work (I was fine anywhere else). Thinking I had a sleep disorder, I went to the doctor. Turns out, it was depression. And the problem was my job. I was working with a woman that I couldn't stand, but forcing myself to 'make the best of it', and my 'mind/body' reacted with 'depression'. I remember leaving the office thinking that that doctor didn't know what he was talking about, but 2 weeks later the woman announced she was resigning, and literally from that moment on, I was fine (after going literally MONTHS thinking I had a sleep disorder.)

    It's a 'silly' story, but I want to illustrate a larger point...

    Look around you. Make sure your 'environment' supports your well-being. (easier said than done, but worth mentioning. I am now VERY careful who I spend my time with... no negative energy, please.)

    I also tend to have 'issues' when I'm sedentary for weeks on end. It can be hard to do any kind of physical activity when depression has it's grip on you, but it's well worth the effort to fight through it.

    On the current project I'm working on, a woman had SEVERE post-partum depression for 8 years (and was on anti-depressants the whole time). When she started walking for an hour every day and using light weights (for another hour), she was able to come off anti-depressants within 2 or 3 weeks. (...and in 18 months she also lost 101 pounds. She did not go on any commercial diet - never counted calories).

    She said that working out was hard at first - everything hurt, but it made all the difference in how she felt 'mentally'.

    She's now been off anti-depressants for about 5 years now.

    To address the thread topic: Yes, there IS hope.

  10. #9
    Registered User theshanman97's Avatar
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    im pretty sure i have depression now but , the doctors just say im "being silly" and "girls of my age cant get depression"! even though i know u can and that i do

    I cut my self and often think of suicide , the doctors know this but when i tell them all they say is "most people now and then think of killing them self" even though i know that is not true!

    can you please tell me what to do????

  11. #10
    Green Fields~Golden Sands DiamondInTheRough's Avatar
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    theshanman, can you try talking to your parents? Teachers, friends? If you are having suicidal thoughts and feel that no one is listening to you, go to an emergency room and tell them what's going on.
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  12. #11
    Feet on the Ground defygravity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by theshanman97 View Post
    im pretty sure i have depression now but , the doctors just say im "being silly" and "girls of my age cant get depression"! even though i know u can and that i do

    I cut my self and often think of suicide , the doctors know this but when i tell them all they say is "most people now and then think of killing them self" even though i know that is not true!

    can you please tell me what to do????
    Is this because of PCOS, or in conjunction with other things? If it is because of PCOS, please know that this website has an amazing support system of beautiful women who will guide you with any questions you have. Much of what your doctors have told you is untrue. It has to be terrifying to be 14 and trying to deal with this. Girls your age DO struggle with depression, shifting hormones do not make it easy. I had some low times when I was a teenager, and it does get better.

    Like Diamond said, if you can't talk with your parents or teachers, you can go to an ER and they will help you. There is also a sticky located HERE with local suicide numbers.
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  13. #12
    Registered User vancouverNicole's Avatar
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    Luckily, depression is one of the most treatable mental illnesses out there. Right now Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (done by someone who sticks to the book with it) is the front line for treatment.

    theshanman97: The Dr.'s you're talking to don't know what they're talking about. I'm sorry you have to deal with that. One thing you might give a shot is calling a local crisis line, they can help you get through low moments, and may be able to help you find someone local that may be helpful.
    Sometimes, for people who are self-harming, there is a strong emotional side to the depression, and mindfulness based cognitive behavioral therapy or dialectical behavioral therapy are considered good options for helping you learn to regulate your emotions and find alternatives to self harm. (sorry, you might have to google those if you are interested).
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